The couch thread

[TerryB]

Have you never been with a woman, Patrick?

Actually, no. I am a virgin, and I'm not ashamed to say it.

Bad news, Lucky: the whole "catching but not pitching" thing still means you lost your virginity.

[CultBuster]

CrossFit Did Not Prepare Me For This....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So today, my girlfriend and I decided to do a hike called the 'Grouse Grind', to say it is hard is an understatement. I have never done it before and decided to do the WOD this morning (Deadlift 1-1-1-1-1-1-1)!!!!

The 'Grind' is basically a set of steps cut into a mountain. Here's some stats:

Length: 2.9km
Elevation Gain: 2,800 ft (2830 stairs)
Official Record: 26:19

http://www.grousemountain.com/Summer... ... ind.aspYou must indicate if your links are Work and Fmaily Safe (WFS)

With a 20lb Camelbak pack it took me 1:20:00 to complete, the GF did it in
00:58:00. I have been doing CF religiously since the beginning of Jan but nothing prepared me for this!!!!!!!!

Am I wrong to assume CF would prepare me for something like this???? I figured with all the squats, leg exercises, etc I would be in good stead.

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthrea ... post602898

No we ignore science and daya. This is telling. Your GF kicked your ass on a recreational climb.

[Mountebank]

Quite another concern for the RRG...I'm sorry, but a simple wipe-down of a knurled bar (note the bloody shins part at the end) does *not* get the blood out of the knurling. This is disgusting and could very well open them up a bigger lawsuit than rhabdo.
A Bloody Good Time: The Northeast Qualifier

"If your athlete opened up, please clean the bars," the organizers asked the judges. This was repeated for all heats following. Maybe it was the damage from Day 1, or maybe it was because the pull-up station was brand new, but whatever the answer, the men's hands were torn, with bloody flaps of skin from mid-finger to palm.
...
She looked at her hand, obviously torn, and then to her boyfriend. He seemed to shrug. She shrugged in turn and gripped the bar, banging out her reps without hesitation. In the end the bars were smattered in blood, chalk covered the ground, and sweat moistened the blacktop.
...
It was a battle of reps, and there was no hesitation for ripped hands, bleeding shins or fatigue.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

With the sexual promiscuity trend at @F events, coupled with blood on barbells, pullup bars, and other implements, this has a big potential for the transfer of not just HIV, but assorted other bloodborne diseases like the hepatitises.

At any PL or OL meet (and SM meets) they will clean off the implement with a bleach solution if blood is present.

[JohnnyBadAss]

Check this out: http://beyondthewhiteboard.com/

Make sure to check out the Meals area and look at the samples. Is it just me or does "steak, spaghetti, olive oil" look like the only actual meal on that sample for Sat Mar 28th? At 18 blocks, that's a male @Fer, but who sits down to a nice hearty meal of 4 oz of steak (4 blocks)?

[Holland Oates]

How do they live on this shit?

I'm getting hungry just reading that.

That looks like a starvation diet.

[JohnnyBadAss]

How do they live on this shit?

I'm getting hungry just reading that.

That looks like a starvation diet.

It's how a true dedicated anorexic gets shredded while appearing to be about performance, bro.

[TerryB]

At any PL or OL meet (and SM meets) they will clean off the implement with a bleach solution if blood is present.

Well that doesn't seem very 'hardcore' now does it?

[TerryB]

CrossFit Did Not Prepare Me For This....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So today, my girlfriend and I decided to do a hike called the 'Grouse Grind', to say it is hard is an understatement. I have never done it before and decided to do the WOD this morning (Deadlift 1-1-1-1-1-1-1)!!!!

The 'Grind' is basically a set of steps cut into a mountain. Here's some stats:

Length: 2.9km
Elevation Gain: 2,800 ft (2830 stairs)
Official Record: 26:19

http://www.grousemountain.com/Summer... ... ind.aspYou must indicate if your links are Work and Fmaily Safe (WFS)

With a 20lb Camelbak pack it took me 1:20:00 to complete, the GF did it in
00:58:00. I have been doing CF religiously since the beginning of Jan but nothing prepared me for this!!!!!!!!

Am I wrong to assume CF would prepare me for something like this???? I figured with all the squats, leg exercises, etc I would be in good stead.

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthrea ... post602898

No we ignore science and daya. This is telling. Your GF kicked your ass on a recreational climb.

LMAO

The responses are even better:

leave you 20lb pack at home next time, just pack a small water bottle.

Great idea, genius. Improve your time: take less water! Actually, that is Cultfit in its purest form. Stupidity to beat the clock.

You completed it after heavy deads. That sounds like crossfit to me......

Yep, everything is Cultfit! Couch is a genius!

you probably destroyed your lower body and cns with the deadlifts in the morning. i don't think it's a telling data point

But ... but... isn't that what Cultfit is supposed to DO for you?? Prepare you for heavy work....followed HOURS later by hiking? LOL

i don't think it's a telling data point

Correct. Only data referenced by Couch is accurate.

maybe without Crossfit it would have taken you longer

Good tihnking genius. Yes, if he were untrained, it would probably have taken longer. Maybe. .... Geesh.

you were above average. You were prepared.

Mediocrity = Preparedness. No mention that his girlfriend was apparently BETTER prepared.

What I took from this is that your girlfriend is in really good shape.

Right. She's probably an Olympian. It oculdn't be that your training SUCKS, eh?

[Holy Cow]

CrossFit Did Not Prepare Me For This....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So today, my girlfriend and I decided to do a hike called the 'Grouse Grind', to say it is hard is an understatement. I have never done it before and decided to do the WOD this morning (Deadlift 1-1-1-1-1-1-1)!!!!

The 'Grind' is basically a set of steps cut into a mountain. Here's some stats:

Length: 2.9km
Elevation Gain: 2,800 ft (2830 stairs)
Official Record: 26:19

http://www.grousemountain.com/Summer... ... ind.aspYou must indicate if your links are Work and Fmaily Safe (WFS)

With a 20lb Camelbak pack it took me 1:20:00 to complete, the GF did it in
00:58:00. I have been doing CF religiously since the beginning of Jan but nothing prepared me for this!!!!!!!!

Am I wrong to assume CF would prepare me for something like this???? I figured with all the squats, leg exercises, etc I would be in good stead.

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthrea ... post602898

No we ignore science and daya. This is telling. Your GF kicked your ass on a recreational climb.

This is the guy's avatar, just fyi. Lawlz.

[Grandpa's Spells]

Bringing 2.5 gallons of water on something easily completed in under 2 hrs. is silly.

[Thud]

So his performance was hindered by his workout, even though his workouts are supposed to better prepare him for random tasks? If they're trying to be prepared for "anything," but the workouts are a hindrance to preformance, why again are they doing them 5 or 6 days per week? So they'll be prepared for "anything," so long as "anything" occurs on the one or two days of the week they don't train? They're traing 6 days per week to be ready for one day's (gotta be the right day) "random" performance?

It's a tad confusing.

[POD]

Don't you guys remember the Petranek Fitness member who was already kicked out of the gym for bringing up that same issue months ago?
Fucking CDC - they don't understand shit about broad time and modal domains.

pod- you sound like a fucking 12 year old. Stop being such a little god fearing pickle sniffer, He is fake. you < @fit

Actually, a good number of 12 year olds couldn't say that, though I know that's not helping my status here at all.


It's just another reason why I can't ever attend a CrossFit cert.

[Blaidd Drwg]

From POD's link above. A legit Crossfit success story. Quit to succeed.

I have received a few emails asking about my gym status, so here’s the update: I haven’t joined a new gym. I started running and working out at the beach/park/home on my own.


Since being thrown out of CrossfitLA in December
Number of supportive emails I’ve received from CrossfitLA gym members: 6
Money saved: $1240
Weight gained: 0lbs
Races run: 3
Minutes off my 5K time: 4.5
Drunken push-up contests won: 2

http://www.therealmalingering.com/page/4/

[Holland Oates]

From POD's link above. A legit Crossfit success story. Quit to succeed.

I have received a few emails asking about my gym status, so here’s the update: I haven’t joined a new gym. I started running and working out at the beach/park/home on my own.


Since being thrown out of CrossfitLA in December
Number of supportive emails I’ve received from CrossfitLA gym members: 6
Money saved: $1240
Weight gained: 0lbs
Races run: 3
Minutes off my 5K time: 4.5
Drunken push-up contests won: 2

http://www.therealmalingering.com/page/4/

LOL

I just read that and thought the exact same thing.

[Crust Bucket]

LOL.....Ooops I guess his big pocketbook from all the money saved didn't weigh his ass down either.

[nafod]

I have never done it before and decided to do the WOD this morning (Deadlift 1-1-1-1-1-1-1)!!!!...With a 20lb Camelbak pack it took me 1:20:00 to complete, the GF did it in
00:58:00.

As a devotee of things like the Grouse Grind (2800' vert in < 2 miles is pretty monumental), I can officially say the guy was nuts to do a 1RM deadlift workout the same day. It is all about lunge after lunge, and cardio.

I'd love to give it a try. The record holder who did it in 24 minutes? That's scary.

[Kraj]

YTF do crossfitters' hands always get fucked up? I'm looking at that bloody pull-up bar and wondering how the hell someone screws up their hands doing pull-ups. I'm also wondering YTF they take pride in it. Back in my day, working manual labor, if you got blisters or callouses you were considered a pussy. It was a sign that you're not man enough for the work.

[Botototo]

The rips are mostly caused by kipping pullups, and perhaps occasionally deadlifts.

[Batboy2/75]

Bringing 2.5 gallons of water on something easily completed in under 2 hrs. is silly.

Sorry spells but your quote above is silly and down right moronic.

Better to have water and not need it, than need the water and not have it. I've seen healthy athletic young men suffer from heat stroke in less than 2 hours of physical activity.

This is one of those topics you can not compare yourself against other people. How susceptible you are to heat is a very individual thing. What you could easily finish in 2 hours without water could kill another person. This is one of the main reasons if you visit a Army or USMC basic training center you'll find soldiers and marines walking around (even in the barracks) with a canteen. You are taught very early in basic training to drink water, lots of water.

A medic once explained to me that if you suffer heat stroke it was like busting your internal thermostat. From there on out your body is going to be all fucked up.

[TomFurman]

There seems to be an odd level of distended abdominals in certain @fitters.. GH situps or exotic vitamins?

[GoDogGo!]

Bringing 2.5 gallons of water on something easily completed in under 2 hrs. is silly.

Sorry spells but your quote above is silly and down right moronic.

+1 to everything he said. And moreso if it's in the desert (I don't know where this was, but once rocks heat up and start pumping out IR they're 5x worse than the heat from the sun.)

[___________]

Y'all are getting easily distracted.
The point of this thread is not hydration, it is hate.
As a crossdresser, he should have brought a gallon of gin for his workout, that's obviously.

[Batboy2/75]

Y'all are getting easily distracted.
The point of this thread is not hydration, it is hate.
As a crossdresser, he should have brought a gallon of gin for his workout, that's obviously.

Maybe a tangent, but very related. @fitters are going to need all the water they can get when they complete the workouts designed by a gin swilling, hoho eating, gimpy legged dwarf.

[Mountebank]

I had an earlier post on a Recon guy's impression of the negative effects of @F on ruck and run times:
viewtopic.php?p=382710#p382710

"@F...For when you want to suck at the ruck."