The couch thread

[Kazuya Mishima]

I don't think very many people have an idea about how brutally strong armwrestlers are in their sport.

John Brzenk beat Cyplenkov with relative ease.



So, yeah...he could pretty much cripple a guy if he wanted to.

[TerryB]

I don't think very many people have an idea about how brutally strong armwrestlers are in their sport.

Luckily for them, Cultfitters view injuries as badges of honor. Spiral fractures of the ulna and shattered wrists will become the new elite fitness standard.

It's even more excitingly awesome that Cultfitters do NO specialized grip, forearm, or tendon strengthening work. You're right: these guys will get broken and mangled in entirely new ways. I can't imagine stepping up to a professional arm wrestler and giving it a go.

Stay tuned! There is the potential for severed arms with this one!

[Kazuya Mishima]

We can only hope, my brotha.

[JohnnyBadAss]

I don't think very many people have an idea about how brutally strong armwrestlers are in their sport.

Luckily for them, Cultfitters view injuries as badges of honor. Spiral fractures of the ulna and shattered wrists will become the new elite fitness standard.

It's even more excitingly awesome that Cultfitters do NO specialized grip, forearm, or tendon strengthening work. You're right: these guys will get broken and mangled in entirely new ways. I can't imagine stepping up to a professional arm wrestler and giving it a go.

Stay tuned! There is the potential for severed arms with this one!

For some reason, I doubt Bagent is actually going to try to mangle them. He'll probably go pretty easy and ensure no wrists get broken.

[TerryB]

I don't think very many people have an idea about how brutally strong armwrestlers are in their sport.

Luckily for them, Cultfitters view injuries as badges of honor. Spiral fractures of the ulna and shattered wrists will become the new elite fitness standard.

It's even more excitingly awesome that Cultfitters do NO specialized grip, forearm, or tendon strengthening work. You're right: these guys will get broken and mangled in entirely new ways. I can't imagine stepping up to a professional arm wrestler and giving it a go.

Stay tuned! There is the potential for severed arms with this one!

For some reason, I doubt Bagent is actually going to try to mangle them. He'll probably go pretty easy and ensure no wrists get broken.

Kinda like when you were a kid and armwrassled gramps, and always won.

Par for the course with Cultfitters. "WOW! That 135 jerk was veeerrry good! GREAT job, tiger!"

[Gin Master]

I'll bet good money this guy subscribes to Shaf's youtube channel.



They need to take the top three Gaymes finishers and send them to Pros vs. Joes. Let's see how the "fittest in the world" stack up with real guys.

[Kraj]

[Kazuya Mishima]

Oh, that is so right, and so wrong all at once.

[TerryB]

Maybe Cultfitters will find out that curls ARE functional after all?

Brzenk's arm (tree limb?) on the right:

[Mountebank]

That's funny, Kraj. =D> =D> =D>

Cyplenkov and most of those other pullers would fit right into the whole "altered hormonal milieu" part of @F...

However, arm-wrestlers--@Fers will likely call them "insects" under their breath right after the table gets wiped with them--must have real issues with their "fitness" and their "health" based on couch's manifesto. Their sport produces next to NO power output, since they move so little vertically (or often are at a standstill) during matches and even Bagent says that his best exercise for arm-wrestling is an *isometric* neutral-grip top-of-pullup position hold (for time, of coarse). What, there's no functional kip in arm-wrestling???

Oh no...
The Miserable Beginnings

He wants to complete the workout, he wants to do CrossFit, but maybe the sensations that come with intensity are just too much for him?

Here's hoping Bagent unleashes on some @Fers in the demos to share the sensations of "intensity" in arm-wrestling...who talks shit to a guy who can easily break arms? Like he doesn't "get" intensity. Oh wait...I forgot.

[POD]

Teaching Complex Movements, by Dutch Lowy
Performance Menu - July 2009

I recently had a run in with Robb Wolf after a level 1
class at CrossFit Norcal. I was the aggressor and with
anyone else I may not have even touched this topic.
My comment to Robb was “Why the fuck aren’t you
teaching these people how to Snatch and clean and
Jerk?” A bit stunned at first Robb did a double take
and apologized for his irresponsibility to his clients and
promised to be better. The next day I walked into the
gym to see Robb teaching the Clean to his level 1
class. This made me smile... First, as
a crossfitter you cannot advance until you have
reached a skill level, on the olympic lifts and gymnastic
moves for that matter, high enough to work up to your
potential... The olympic lifts (snatch
and Clean and Jerk) are not only great strength and
speed development exercises but they go a long way
when it comes to conditioning. Adding such a technical
movement to your conditioning will not only help you
build confidence in your movement but also allow
you to work most if not all of the 10 general physical
skills... Yes, Grandma should be snatching
and working on her planche...

The reason I subscribe to the Performance Menu is because it's not supposed to contain shit like this. Dammit, if I wanted to read that gibberish I'd be buying the CFJ, but as it stands, I wouldn't even illegally download that rag. It's not worth the bandwidth. I really do not want to see Everett let his magazine get splattered with this filth.

[GoDogGo!]

Travis Bagent (armwrestler) tries @F.

Several notable moments:
He laughs and tries pretty hard not to call the word "WOD" stupid (or worse).
He refers to the lightness of the weights in @F workouts, and pretty much calls it "cardio".
His form on his very first rep of the log C&P is pretty much perfect @F slop.

An @F star is born...at least until, like every other elite athlete that tries @F, he throws it in the junk heap.

Uhh.... has any @fitter ever lifted anything as heavy as that log appears to be?

[Gin Master]

Travis Bagent (armwrestler) tries @F.

Several notable moments:
He laughs and tries pretty hard not to call the word "WOD" stupid (or worse).
He refers to the lightness of the weights in @F workouts, and pretty much calls it "cardio".
His form on his very first rep of the log C&P is pretty much perfect @F slop.

An @F star is born...at least until, like every other elite athlete that tries @F, he throws it in the junk heap.

Uhh.... has any @fitter ever lifted anything as heavy as that log appears to be?

No, as far as a log C&P goes, his form is pretty good. Most do a continental clean, roll it up their belly, and press it from there. Not only are they claiming an arm wrestler, they're trying to slap their label on a SM workout. Nice job, Couch.

[Blaidd Drwg]

log it's big, it's heavy, it's wood..

.this is how you do it...travis looks pretty good at it to me...Matt's clinic below is a good example of how the Oly lifter technique does not work.

[WildGorillaMan]

http://www.crossfitwyreforest.com/wp-co ... it-357.jpg

Its max effort day. No PVC allowed. She should be putting out.

That picture just oozes virtuosity.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Just a testimonial for Ross Enamait by a previous Crossfit user

Thanks to Ross from THE PIT for helping to prepare Chuck (Liddell) for UFC 79. Your programs and advice were very valuable in getting Chuck ready for a war. We use your programs at THE PIT, and I look forward to working with you in the near future.

John Hackleman, The Pit Master
http://www.thepitmma.com

OUCH!

[TerryB]

A buddy is related to a high-level grip competitor who also does some arm wrestling (not sure how much he does). Here's what he had to say about Brzenk and Bagent coming to the Crossfit GAYMES:

Real AW's doesn't even cover it. Bagent is #1 LH AW in the world, nobody even close at any weight including Brzenk (he's RH though).He's ridiculously fast and often referred to as the Muhammid Ali of AW. People either love him or hate him.

Brzenk...well what can I say. Probably the best quote about him is "he's better at arm wrestling than Michael Jordan ever thought about being at basketball". He's easily the greatest ever. He's getting a little old now but nobody but the absolute elite of the sport can touch him even at 44 y/o.

One of things that's cool about Brzenk is he skips World's and travels over to Poland, Russia, etc. and pulls the freakshows that can't pass the drug tests for worlds. The latest "supermatch" was in Vegas. Denis Cyplenkov, the latest Russian experiment who seriously looks like the incredible hulk minus the green (google image him) weighed in at 307 and Brzenk weighed in at 227#. Brzenk beat him 5-1 and hurt his shoulder winning the fifth match so he basically gave up the 6th.

I'm sure both guys will just toy with them and not try to hurt anybody but those crossfiters might as well be trying race Usain Bolt or knockout Fedor. They have absolutely NO chance.

I'm sure they won't hit, probably just total hand control and slow side pressure to the pad. You might see some broken arms though. In AW, you break your own arm by allowing yourself to get in a bad position. Specifically when you look away from your arm and are trying to pull. When this happens you get a spiral fracture of the humerus. A great rule for beginners is always look at your hand. This keeps your shoulder from getting ahead of your hand. However, if Brzenk just maintains hand control and some crossfitter starts hitting, looking away from his arm (cuz he won't do dick with Brzenk's hand), like most beginners do, he could easily break it. I'm sure they'll explain all of this and have a seasoned ref [COUCH???] but you never know.

My buddy that own's [a bar] had Brzenk and some other well-known guys up for a charity tournament he did. [The owner] told me Brzenk just destroyed everyone in the tournament as expected and then afterwards there was a line from the table all the way to the back of the bar to pull him. He said Brzenk would just ask them if they wanted to be slammed or if they wanted to try for a while before losing. He said he wasn't even cocky about it he was just asking because a lot guys had family members filming it. He said it was just ridiculous because it was after Brzenk had won the whole tournament and not
only was there nobodies from the bar in line but almost every AW from the tourny in line too. He said nobody was even close.

Specialization is for insects.

[Blaidd Drwg]

A buddy is related to a high-level grip competitor who also does some arm wrestling (not sure how much he does). Here's what he had to say about Brzenk and Bagent coming to the Crossfit GAYMES:

Real AW's doesn't even cover it. Bagent is #1 LH AW in the world, nobody even close at any weight including Brzenk (he's RH though).He's ridiculously fast and often referred to as the Muhammid Ali of AW. People either love him or hate him.

Brzenk...well what can I say. Probably the best quote about him is "he's better at arm wrestling than Michael Jordan ever thought about being at basketball". He's easily the greatest ever. He's getting a little old now but nobody but the absolute elite of the sport can touch him even at 44 y/o.

One of things that's cool about Brzenk is he skips World's and travels over to Poland, Russia, etc. and pulls the freakshows that can't pass the drug tests for worlds. The latest "supermatch" was in Vegas. Denis Cyplenkov, the latest Russian experiment who seriously looks like the incredible hulk minus the green (google image him) weighed in at 307 and Brzenk weighed in at 227#. Brzenk beat him 5-1 and hurt his shoulder winning the fifth match so he basically gave up the 6th.

I'm sure both guys will just toy with them and not try to hurt anybody but those crossfiters might as well be trying race Usain Bolt or knockout Fedor. They have absolutely NO chance.

I'm sure they won't hit, probably just total hand control and slow side pressure to the pad. You might see some broken arms though. In AW, you break your own arm by allowing yourself to get in a bad position. Specifically when you look away from your arm and are trying to pull. When this happens you get a spiral fracture of the humerus. A great rule for beginners is always look at your hand. This keeps your shoulder from getting ahead of your hand. However, if Brzenk just maintains hand control and some crossfitter starts hitting, looking away from his arm (cuz he won't do dick with Brzenk's hand), like most beginners do, he could easily break it. I'm sure they'll explain all of this and have a seasoned ref [COUCH???] but you never know.

My buddy that own's [a bar] had Brzenk and some other well-known guys up for a charity tournament he did. [The owner] told me Brzenk just destroyed everyone in the tournament as expected and then afterwards there was a line from the table all the way to the back of the bar to pull him. He said Brzenk would just ask them if they wanted to be slammed or if they wanted to try for a while before losing. He said he wasn't even cocky about it he was just asking because a lot guys had family members filming it. He said it was just ridiculous because it was after Brzenk had won the whole tournament and not
only was there nobodies from the bar in line but almost every AW from the tourny in line too. He said nobody was even close.

Specialization is for insects.

I'm beaseaching you to forward this to whatever sockpuppete may be available at the @fit board...certainly there would some slapdickery in response but yet more seeds of doubt would take root.

[Kraj]

Trucking, fucking, and arm bucking - It's the American way.

U! S! A!
U! S! A!

[Kraj]

Artist's rendition of what the CrossFit arm-wrestling tournament will be like:



Not pictured: Huge payout given to pros to throw matches, play the victim and give CrossFit the appearance of credibility.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Kraj, you fucking moron.

1. The fingers are going the wrong way.
2. There is no frosted faux-hawk.
3. There are no tribal tattoos evident
4. You forgot to put the tits on.

[Kraj]

Kraj, you fucking moron.

1. The fingers are going the wrong way.
2. There is no frosted faux-hawk.
3. There are no tribal tattoos evident
4. You forgot to put the tits on.

Well, I just found it, I didn't draw it, but point taken.

[JimZipCode]

Tomorrow is a holiday. Does it make sense to get a head start on Androgen Friday?

[Kraj]

[WildGorillaMan]

Tomorrow is a holiday. Does it make sense to get a head start on Androgen Friday?

Androgen Friday never needs an excuse. Post 'em if you got 'em.