The couch thread

[Mickey O'neil]

I fucking hate these people. Starting with that guy doing it's workout in the fucking street.

[Gin Master]

this girl is very attractive but looks like she is starting to turn... esp around the shoulders. what say you?

@fit before ^^^^^^

@fit after

They're both from the same event (Albany). Slight engorgement isn't necessarily a bad thing. Or maybe I'm just sick.

[Mountebank]

Happy Gaymes Andro Friday! All these (wo)men will be Gaymers...




Question...how long will it be before many @F women's hormonal milieu is altered enough that they'll be able to have WaDs like pissing in urinals for time?

[JohnnyBadAss]

What pussies. 315, 325, 335, 345....LMFAO! Start at 315, then go 405, then 495, then 585, and see who hangs and who can't. Fucking pussies.

The problem you run into here is that...well, most @Fers would probably not make it past 405. Many of the top guys wouldn't be able to pull that.

Gin Master, you're right about taxing the big guys. But they'll crush this event and get the longer rest. Which I also think is gay. Put them in flights and keep the same order all day.

[DrDonkeyLove]

Have they got a vendor faire at the Gaymes? A 10'x10' booth usually goes for $2k +/- at the vendor faires I attend. I counted 35 sponsors on the website and 9 who paid for a write up. I wonder how much Greg is raking in on the Gaymes.

[Crust Bucket]

I swear I see some mustache's on some of those "ladies".

[Mountebank]

From the Gaymes site:

The fitness revolution will be televised--on a JumboTron.

CrossFit Games Director Dave Castro appeared in front of the 97 teams competing in the Affiliate Cup at 8 a.m. this morning with an 18x24 foot JumboTron broadcasting live behind him.

Detailing movement standards to the 97 teams, Castro was framed by a giant sign/wall-ball target reading: "Our workouts are competitive events. The strength and value of CrossFit lies entirely within our domination of other athletes. This is a truth derived through competition, not debate."

It's doubtful any of the athletes would argue the point, and when the three-WOD rotation started it was obvious that everyone agreed.

It's amazing how drunk on their own rhetoric @Fers are.

It's just funny. The good (read: strong before @F) @Fers usually aren't competing in other sports anymore, so the only "domination" they get these days is of other @Fers, not other real sport athletes. Therefore, all they have is debate, since they don't go outside of the @F world to compete!

[Gin Master]

The fitness revolution will be televised--on a JumboTron.

Wow, so big it can only be captured on closed-circuit.

The strength and value of CrossFit lies entirely within our domination of other athletes. This is a truth derived through competition, not debate.

Who are the athletes? Where are these competitions? When were they held? It's been several years now, and they cannot name one fucking half-assed professional athlete that @F has produced. We just need one, Couch.

Damn, that looks like Keri Russell.

http://games2009.crossfit.com/assets_c/ ... -1322.html

[TerryB]

Doing Cultfit = Elite Athlete

Therefore:

Beating other Cultfitters = CRUSHING ELITE ATHLETES IN COMPETITION!

[Botototo]

Damn, that looks like Keri Russell.

http://games2009.crossfit.com/assets_c/ ... -1322.html

Does Keri Russell have ENORMOUS FUCKING THIGHS?!

[GoDogGo!]

Some of those ladies don't belong in an Andro Friday post.

OTOH:


HEEEE-AWWWW! HEEEEE-HAWWWWW!

[Mickey O'neil]

From the Gaymes site:

The fitness revolution will be televised--on a JumboTron.

CrossFit Games Director Dave Castro appeared in front of the 97 teams competing in the Affiliate Cup at 8 a.m. this morning with an 18x24 foot JumboTron broadcasting live behind him.

Detailing movement standards to the 97 teams, Castro was framed by a giant sign/wall-ball target reading: "Our workouts are competitive events. The strength and value of CrossFit lies entirely within our domination of other athletes. This is a truth derived through competition, not debate."

It's doubtful any of the athletes would argue the point, and when the three-WOD rotation started it was obvious that everyone agreed.

It's amazing how drunk on their own rhetoric @Fers are.

It's just funny. The good (read: strong before @F) @Fers usually aren't competing in other sports anymore, so the only "domination" they get anymore is of other @Fers, not other real sport athletes. Therefore, all they have is debate, since they don't go outside of the @F world to compete!

Goddamn, I am going to start killing these fagfit retards. This shit just drives me into a fucking rage.

[D'Aquisto]

One of those girls (headband) used to be a trainer at my gym, and not surprisingly looked better, and likely performed better when she was doing periodized programs. And she sure as hell didn't get strong on douchefit.

[Fish]

Event 1 - The Run
The first event is a 7.1km run through varied terrain including both asphalt and extremely steep hills off trail. The athlete's time will be electronically determined by a chip given to the athlete prior to the race.

This event will kill the overzealous types, and big guys. The fact that most @fitters don't run much distance is going to make for a sluggish race. The smart ones with decent running capabilities will not drop the hammer on this one.

Event 2 - The Deadlift
Heaviest successful deadlift completed lifting one rep every 30sec. Each competitor will begin at the first barbell, which weighs 315lbs for men and 185lbs for women. Dropping is permitted. The athlete then has 10sec plus any portion of the 20sec remaining to set up at the next bar, which is 10lbs heavier than the previous (so the second bar weighs 325/195). Athletes continue moving to progressively heavier bars until they fail. The athletes are ranked according to the heaviest successful weight lifted before failing.

This event is actually kind of cool. If the athlete doesn't have a deadlift AT LEAST in the high 400s this will be a short event for them.

Event 3 - The Sandbag Hill Sprint
The men will pick up two 35lb sandbags (loosely packed) and sprint approximately 170m uphill. The sandbags begin flat on the ground. The sprint is steep in places, with approximately 100' in elevation gain over the 170m course. Women carry one 35lb sandbag for the same course.

Pretty cool event. It could destroy those people that have never lifted anything besides a barbell though. 70 pounds total is bitch weight though, so that will make it easier. Shit, a bag of cement usually weighs 60 pounds, I bet somebody who was done labor intensive work or someone in the military would annhilate @fitters at this one.

Event 4 - Row / Hammer Stake
Row 500m
Hammer a 4' metal stake into specially prepared, evenly compacted ground (women use a 3' stake)
Row 500m
Details and standards will be given to the athletes on Saturday afternoon.

Pretty gay event. It will be good for the big guys though, and again, it just seems like something that you would do at work. The fancy pants @fitters would get wrecked by someone who has actually picked up a hammer and swung it a few times before.

Event 5 - The Couplet
The two exercises are wallball and barbell snatch. The specifics of the workout will be disclosed on Saturday afternoon. We want the athletes to have the privilege of being the first to perform this exact workout.

OOOOOHHHHHHH the mystical wallball/snatch workout. This super workout is the conclusion of couch's years of work with elite fitnitists (I just made that word up, and I like it). It is finally ready to be released and bring the fitness world together!


Overall I think the format of last years gaymes was much better because the exercises were much less gay. One would assume sunday is holding a callus-tearing amount of pullups. BRING ON THE MOTHER FUCKING PAIN!!!!

[Botototo]

I have to admit that I'm cautiously optimistic about these events. I always used to advocate for a Games that didn't feature anything resembling CrossFit exercises at all, since it obviously says nothing about your "GPP" to prove that you're good at the shit you practice. So stuff like hauling around sandbags or shoveling gravel -- things that are physically difficult, functionally relevant, but something you definitely don't "train" unless you're really weird. This isn't quite there but it's pretty close.

Not sure what to say about the stake-hammering thing; it could either be interesting or extremely ridiculous.

[Mountebank]

The San Diego team struggled with several missed wall-ball reps early on but was redeemed when Sage Burgener (pictured), daughter of CrossFit Olympic Lifting Coach Mike Burgener, knocked out almost 30 straight shots.

OMG, no way, a strength/power ATHLETE had to come in and "redeem" her weak teammates?

And...

Somebody sic the SKINS drug testers on this dude and his beeyotch tits!

[Crust Bucket]

The one "girl" up there reminds me of Stephen Pearcy...

[Holland Oates]

I love the Greyskull guys more every time I visit the site.

10 year old Matt H
(at 10, Matt is already showing considerably more development than many of the Zone homos, and he would call Five Fingers gay if he saw someone wearing them on the street.)

[JamesonBushmill]

What a cutie pie

Or as Robbb Wollff likes to refer to her, a "hot little biscuit".

Funny, I didn't think biscuits were Paleo.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

That's classic bitch tits.

Of course, maybe he was a chubby adolescent.

[Hank Scorpio]

The Gaymes look much like Field Day from back in our junior high days. Why not go back to the classics, the Three Legged Race, the Wheelbarrow Race, a Softball Throw, and a Broad Jump would be good events. Some of these events are quite technical, and after say a year of XFing, with the 700# DL already conquered, would present admirable challenges to the rabid XFag. Once the chosen have met one another in ritualized combat, and the XFags have battled down to, and settled, a rivalry matched only the epic duel of Achilles and Hector, and determined a victor, I'd say add a XF team Kickball Tourney. Then they could celebrate the collective awesomeness of this shared community of dudes with tribal tatts who shave their heads for no good reason, universal vomiting, and chicks that look like guys.

[Anon]

What's that gayme called where you carry the egg in the spoon, now that's a classic.

[TerryB]

We need an arm wrestling update. My moneys on Eva T coming out the forerunner.

[GoDogGo!]

That's classic bitch tits.

Of course, maybe he was a chubby adolescent.

I think he should walk around shirtless in some Russian immigrant neighborhoods. See what happens.

[Fish]

What's that gayme called where you carry the egg in the spoon, now that's a classic.

They could see who can make a balloon blow up the fastest as well. Or a team hand-job relay. So many possibilities.