The couch thread

[Kraj]

RPC, not quite...the Iceland chick got 2nd...after two months of @F

That's exactly why she didn't win. It takes 3-5 years to tear her down, reset her neuromuscular sensors, and build her into a champion.

Yes, Mikko Salo is a strong guy (stronger than me - for now)

for EVER

[JohnnyBadAss]

lol @ the holy shit it's a woman reply.

I call bullshit. No way is that a woman.

You'd be wrong. Her name is Feng Yi Chew. Not sure if she's pre- or post-op.

[Crust Bucket]

You'd be wrong. Her name is Feng Yi Chew. Not sure if she's pre- or post-op.

She also played young Max in Dark Angel a few years back.

[Fuzzy Dunlop]

Other competitors struggled badly with the sledge, with one competitor breaking four of them before completing the event. Others were bleeding after wild swings found flesh instead of metal.

That really pisses me off. If you break one sledge, I'll give you a break since you're a keyboard jockey who's never used one. If you break two, the event is fuckin' over for you. Put the handle down and go look for your balls. If you break FOUR? First off I'm taking that handle and beating the shit out of everyone who didn't tell you to get fuckin' lost after the second sledgehammer, then I'm shoving that handle up your ass and using sledgehammer #5 to hammer it into your brain. For fuck's sake, FOUR perfectly good sledgehammers? I wish I had been there. Damn that BBQ bash in Monaco I had this weekend.

I think he broke 4 steaks, not hammers. one ribeye, two tenderloins, and a bone-in delmonico IIRC

[dead man walking]

quack and pod--

enough dumbfuck analysis. noone gives a rat's ass about your dipshit assessements of irrelevant matters. let gin master be your guide, and bring the hate. or confine your posting to performance menu.

[CultBuster]

144.Another shining example of Crossfit, posted on the main page on Thursday, July 9, 2009:

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... ullups.wmv

A midget does 100 swinging somethings on a bar. For some bizarre reason, the movements are called "pull-ups" and a video of the embarrassing incident is posted on the Crossfit mainpage and hailed as some sort of significant ahtletic achievement.

In the background, one can see a bucket labeled "PUKE", and at the end of the video, the midget shows his ripped and bloody palm.

That's so HARDCORE, bro!


Comment by Trixie from CFHQ on Jul 9th, 2009, 09:37 am

http://www.sfweekly.com/2009-07-01/news ... /#Comments

Whoever this is, I like it..the hate is strong!

[Mountebank]

Thanks, Atilla.

From some of the faithful:

I was a volunteer. Most of my time was in the barn. First: Jeff Tucker for president. He made us feel appreciated while we worked our tails off. Well organized guy and a kick to watch. All of the athletez were great. Gracious, helpful to eachother. Inspiring.

I dont know that I would have enjoyed it as a spectator. Too much time between events, too much being told to get out of the way of the media guys. I understand why so much media was needed, but it was overpowering at times.

The CF "stars" were very gracious and good with the fans. Someone asked OPT for an autograph, which seemed to surprise him. We've come a long way.

Great weekend. But here's the comment which will get this post sent to the trashbin. Glassman was very unimpressive. Mediocre opening speech. No where to be seen on Saturday. Minimal interaction with the fans. Cursory appearance on Sunday. I heard similar takes from others. I just dont get the guy.

--

Saturday. Arrived early, signed waiver, but wasn't allowed in to see the opening speech 'cause event was about to start. Event didn't start for, at least, 15-20 minutes AFTER; no reason I couldn't have walked through gates to find a seat. Most of day seemed to run smoothly. Could have shortened times between events a bit, but respected the wait for the athletes sake. Day was long -- very, very long -- but totally worth it.

Sunday. Well, it started off "poorly" for me. I arrived, parked along the side (where I parked the previous day), then was told to move. After a horrible explanation as to why I couldn't be there, I was told to my face that, "the $20 parking fee is to help support our event."

As an affiliate owner, athlete, and regular CrossFit cheerleader/evangelist, I was anger and hurt by the statement. I thought my plane tickets, hotel reservations, admissions, t-shirts and other swag purchases, screaming, cheering, etc showed my support for the event. I thought my affiliation fees, RRG, certifications, more swag and more CrossFit evangelism in my area showed my support of CrossFit. Yeah, you could say I was hurt.

$5 to park in a field, sure. $10, well, okay. But $20... It's not NYC, LA, or Miami; space at The Ranch was plentiful. Next time, give us a break on some of the petty little things. Support, just like the constant RRG "reminders," isn't just financial.

The rest of the day was tarnished, but surely not ruined. Plenty of great stuff to dote about... The timing seemed off, though. Day seemed to drag-on WAY too long. Didn't like the hour wait before the final ceremonies, but eh...

My guess is that couch was in an RV counting the $$ hand-over-fist.

EDIT/ADD:

Northwest's lowest placing was 11th in the OHS/pull-up WOD, but the outfit--Paul Zavaglia, Zak Middleton, Alek Vlaski, Lindsey Dion, Amanda Barelli and Laura Asbell--finished third in the run and fourth in the Stadium WOD. A diverse group that proves specialization is the enemy, the team features a former rugby/football player (Zavaglia), a tennis pro (Vlaski), a cyclist/track athlete (Barelli) and a basketball player (Dion).

WTF? Methinks they have the wrong definition of "enemy" in their heads. All REAL athletes before @F, as usual.

[Shaun B. O'Murnecan]

WTF is a "Paco?"

Me. Me. Me. Virgin. Attention Whore. Me. Attention. Me. Whore. Me. Virgin.

Go do what no woman will, fuck yourself.

[RPC]

http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/2 ... 090713.htm

The Games are over. Tell us the good and the could-be-better points from the affiliate and the community sides. What would make for an even better 2010 CrossFit Games?

Great weekend. But here's the comment which will get this post sent to the trashbin. Glassman was very unimpressive. Mediocre opening speech. No where to be seen on Saturday. Minimal interaction with the fans. Cursory appearance on Sunday. I heard similar takes from others. I just dont get the guy.

Comment #3 - Posted by: Quatro at July 13, 2009 8:03 AM

[GoDogGo!]

lol @ the holy shit it's a woman reply.

I call bullshit. No way is that a woman.

You'd be wrong. Her name is Feng Yi Chew. Not sure if she's pre- or post-op.

I stand corrected. And I'm sure that her grossly disproportionate traps are all-natural.

[WildGorillaMan]

too much being told to get out of the way of the media guys. I understand why so much media was needed, but it was overpowering at times.

(DISCLAIMER: This isn't your normal internet argument nazi comparison)

In addition to being meticulous record keepers, as per their Germanic nature, the Third Reich recorded their endeavors in a multi-media extravaganza. Photographers, filmmakers, artists and writers followed and recorded their every move, both martial and administrative, for posterity. They were absolutely convinced that they were making history, and people 1000 years later would want to see every last iota of media they produced of their activities.

In a sense, they were right. all that film footage and all those photographs, in addition to their tidy accounting of every expense and use of material gave the prosecution at Nuremburg the mountain of evidence they needed. Convictions were like shooting fish in a barrel.

I'm not comparing @fit to the Nazis, per se. But I am comparing the salivating injury attorneys circling like sharks and wearing out the "PRINT SCRN" button on their laptops as they browse this thread and the @fit sites to the Allied war crimes lawyers. It's a bumper crop of evidence for the plaintiffs.

[Fish]

Great weekend. But here's the comment which will get this post sent to the trashbin. Glassman was very unimpressive. Mediocre opening speech. No where to be seen on Saturday. Minimal interaction with the fans. Cursory appearance on Sunday. I heard similar takes from others. I just dont get the guy.

Comment #3 - Posted by: Quatro at July 13, 2009 8:03 AM

Ha, I looked and couldn't find it. He was right.

[Fish]

I just came up with an interesting theory about why the events at the gaymes were so stupid this year.

Before the gaymes, I was thinking to myself that I would do all the events afterwards to compare scores, since I have a decent strength base from heavy lifting and pretty good metcon from the high rep kettlebell stuff I have done, as well as being a former cross country runner in high school and running quite a few half marathons after high school. I figured I could put up some real high scores against these guys.

Then I decided that doing that would be retarted, because realistically there is no way in replicating these events.

There lay the "genius" in designing the gaymes this year.

After these videos came out of actual weightlifters destroying the shitfit WODs, Glassman decided that he would come up with a bunch of random fucking events to make it impossible for someone to post a bunch of videos on youtube of them crusing through the events at the gaymes. Even if someone did do these events in a relatively accurate fashion, it could easily be stated that there is no way to do them as "RXd" or whatever, therefore negating any excellent performances that could be submitted.

The gaymes are basically a tacky way to drop a few grand on some crapshoot of a competition that could not be replicated in any other place besides where it is held in California. Genius idea by Glassman to make sure people that care about @fit will actually participate at the gaymes, forking over their hard earned cash.

But really, they were just gay.

[T200]

Can we get some kind of bizarre black hole of a subforum that just sucks all of POD's posts down into it?

We do not need a POD fitness ramblings/combat challenge thread.

And POD, no good can come of you challenging any Mexican to a battle anyway. You will lose. The Irish stopped being formidable years ago.

[T200]

And some non-Gaymes LULZ:

Just over a year ago I started training front squats seriously. As the weights got heavier I started to feel light headed and seeing stars. On some attempts I would pass out during the repetition come around at the top then go for others, at which point I experienced the sensation of weightlessness. One day I attempted a heavy set and on the first rep I passed out and as I came around realized I had over 100kgs on my shoulders and it was rolling off. The weight clattered to the pins, I tried walking back but couldn't feel my legs and toppled over. This really knocked my confidence.

I posted a thread shortly afterwards on a site where people are really experienced front squatters. The conclusion was that I was holding the bar too close to my neck cutting off the air supply. Also breathing against a closed airway can result in loss of blood pressure. Hydration was also brought up, but this did not fix the problem.

At some point I worked out what was happening even though I still don't fully understand it. My flexibility not good enough to front squat. Not only was I coming onto my toes, which is definitely bad for the knees, but my spine was bending forward with heavy weights and the pressure on it was leading to loss of consciousness.

After working on my flexibility and really keeping perfect form I can finally squat right down without forward lean and keeping the weight on my heels. My squat is on the rebound and I'm no longer afraid to lose consciousness during the set.

It's really a mystery that this isn't more common- maybe I'm the only one, and I hope it doesn't happen to anyone else.

[RPC]

Great weekend. But here's the comment which will get this post sent to the trashbin. Glassman was very unimpressive. Mediocre opening speech. No where to be seen on Saturday. Minimal interaction with the fans. Cursory appearance on Sunday. I heard similar takes from others. I just dont get the guy.

Comment #3 - Posted by: Quatro at July 13, 2009 8:03 AM

Ha, I looked and couldn't find it. He was right.

Not hot linking to that page for some reason. Still there though.

[Mountebank]

The new way to be HaRdKaWr in @F...beyond puking, rhabdo, etc., we know have self-flagellation with the barbell! (note bleeding cut over left eye, I'm guessing it's from the dropped snatch pic I posted earlier)

They really should practice their OLs more, they might get better at them!

[Gin Master]

Glassman was very unimpressive. Mediocre opening speech. No where to be seen on Saturday. Minimal interaction with the fans. Cursory appearance on Sunday. I heard similar takes from others. I just dont get the guy.

Comment #3 - Posted by: Quatro at July 13, 2009 8:03 AM

Couch was participating in his own team event.

[POD]

They really should practice their OLs more, they might get better at them!

That's a joke, right?

[CultBuster]

so none of the big names on the mens side placed for shit? I have seen them writing "Thanks All" BS but you know that deep down (not even that deep) some of them are fuckinmg pissed at that BS format. Josh Everett has hung onto their bullshit longer than he needed to and he gets punked? Speal? Jason Kalipas is a beast who whore for couch all lat year. Now? I'm shocked that they disrepscted their people like this

[Gin Master]

Welcome to post-Couch @F. Nutty as the programming was, Couch had at least been around gyms and learned/stole from people who knew something. The current HQ kids--Nicole Carroll, Tony Budding, and Dave Castro--are homegrown kids. All of their "knowledge" comes from Couch. They are kool-aid golems fashioned from Couch's ethanol-soaked fingers.

I expect that, in the next year or so, the ego of these kids will drive away the subject matter experts. Even now, affiliates are putting on their own powerlifting (snicker) and OLY seminars. Soon these will become certs. Jeff Martone has been marginalized. I'm sure one of the cultists will be promoted soon. Jeff Tucker already does the gymnastics certs; that caricature of a Texan has been a Couch devotee since the word "go."

Things are actually going to get worse on the main page and with HQ. Sure, there will be plenty to laugh at, but the current trio are second rate villains, like that faggot Nuclear Man from Superman IV.

Soon, this thread won't have Couch to kick around anymore. That will be a sad day.

But he's not gone yet!

[Mountebank]

The biggest disrespect I think that was done in the Gaymes is making nearly all of the WaDs impossible for the faithful to replicate, which means that all people can do is "debate", not "compete", which is exactly the opposite of what that asinine, hypocritical banner of theirs stated.

[TerryB]

Jeff Tucker already does the gymnastics certs;

Anyone else notice that Couch's coveted "gymnastics" are almost completely gone from Cultfit? All that talk about "moving and controlling the body through three-dimensional space" etc. Remember?

Yeah they do "muscle ups" but when was the last time they dragged out their silly PVC paralettes, etc.?

Owning rings and blast straps =/= gymnastics training.

[TerryB]

Couch was absent from the GAYMES b/c the "original Crossfitter" has bloated up to 220+ at 30% bodyfat.

They're embarrassed to roll him out for public display at this point.

[Kraj]

This crossfitter seems quite excited about her new PR. YTF is she even wearing a top?