The couch thread

[Jason]

Looked through his book at B & N......gay porn.

[Holland Oates]

Looked through his book at B & N......gay porn.

Bwahahahahaha

I thought I'd picked up an issue of Men's Exercise magazine.

[T200]

[Turdacious]

Gay Rodeo Clown? Just F'ing CREEEEEEPPPPYYYY !

AKC Master Couch AND Gay Rodeo Clown.

He's an overachiever!

[sanchezero]

What a douchebag braggart! First of all, he ain't that damn big based on his numbers...he must hang out with some out of shape bastards. Second, what straight male would actually mind being a "piece of meat" to a bunch of women?

uh, he never said women thought he was a piece of meat. sausage-fest; that's obviously.

he's upset because he was hopin' for a real love connection, not another one night rodeo.

[Crust Bucket]

Separated at birth? I believe so!

[Grandpa's Spells]

LOL! Ashi barai!

[Turdacious]

Separated at birth? I believe so!

potato, potaahto.

[CultBuster]

This is such a lomg post but i want to get into some of it.

Sooooo… I Just attended the level 1 cert in Ohio. Bottom line, it was awesome. The coaches were all great, and more importantly the class time was captivating and fun throughout all the lectures.That being said, I personally went in to this cert anticipating some groundbreaking coaching techniques, and "new and fresh" queues that (in my opinion) really never surfaced throughout the seminar.

Huh you mean couch calling Peter Reid a pussy and Mark Twight a liar and thief and AGAIN telling his HILLARIOUS story about the "sit up king" who rhabdoed on GHD sit ups wasn't cutting it?

feel anyone who's been CFing at an affiliate for more than let’s say 6 months (that's a most/most/most, Adrian...) or has diligently combed through CrossFit.com and the CF Journal has already picked up on a lot of the content that was covered.

Thats a ringing endorsement

I'm not saying that it was worthless. I know a lot of people loaded up on useful info that’s going to change their training and coaching styles, and my perspective has changed on a few things and I did learn a couple new things

Not satying it was worthless becasue I'm a dumbass. I drove 14 hours, spent $1000 and sat for two days and got few things?

elite2.jpg (44.19 KiB) Viewed 6187 times

[Crust Bucket]

Fucking Otis up there (and look at that gut...lol) looks like he's a lost kid or maybe on some shrooms. Then again maybe he's just a lil iffy hanging on to one of Anne Franks relatives.

[CultBuster]

Finally, I cannot discount the utility of posting workouts to the site and getting feedback from hundreds of elite athletes around the world. This would prove invaluable to any strength and conditioning coach or program."

Like these guys:

285 lbs (PR!)

Comment #35 - Posted by: Alexis M/23/5´4"/129 at July 20, 2009 9:35 PM

This is by far my favourite WOD! Aiming for double bodyweight by August 9th... I'm up to 172.5Kg about 7.5 to go!

Comment #43 - Posted by: GingerJustin at July 21, 2009 2:14 AM

Run 5 K
30:56

Comment #45 - Posted by: Goat 33/M/192/5'-11" at July 21, 2009 3:11 AM

135x1
215x1
255x1
295x1
315x1
335x1
355x1

Felt super heavy and far from a PR.

Comment #48 - Posted by: Kevin Wood - CrossFit Moncton (28/6'3/175#) at July 21, 2009 4:08 AM

[POD]

Is that lazy ass so opposed to physical activity that he won't even put forth effort to make a smile? He looks like a deer dazed by headlights, a drunk deer.

[Holland Oates]

EZ, great work on the weekend shift, brother. I guess hate is a trainable parameter, too. You backed off the hate a few weeks ago and came back stronger than ever.

LOL

Thanks my brother.

I feel like a whole new man.

[chi]

Fucking Otis up there (and look at that gut...lol) looks like he's a lost kid or maybe on some shrooms. Then again maybe he's just a lil iffy hanging on to one of Anne Franks relatives.

The Anne Franks relative is Colin McNulty, fancies himself as a knowledgeable crossfit guy here in the UK. He has his own blog (obviously) if you wish to load up on some hate.

[The Venerable Bogatir X]

Looked through his book at B & N......gay porn.

Bwahahahahaha

I thought I'd picked up an issue of Men's Exercise magazine.

LOL....it's been awhile since I looked at that book at B&N but I agree with both of your assessments.

[Mountebank]

In the spirit of this thread being a goldmine for prosecuting attorneys, I need to post this video:
http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... erview.mov
Dehydration on the first event (7k hill run)?!? Is the Zone restricting electrolytes & water now or what?

Collapsing, injuries, pulling 29 judges out of the crowd in 30 minutes?

Nah, sounds totally safe and on the up-and-up to me...sheesh.

[Fish]

I am kind of dissapointed that there is not really any outrageously stupid posts from the @f boards to make fun of lately. Everything is just bland and mildly stupid.

[RPC]

http://coachrut.blogspot.com/2009/07/cr ... b-gym.html

http://robbwolf.com/?p=655

A glowing endorsement from Robb Wolf basically stating that instead of using Couch's brand of Crossfit (.com) he's been utlilizing a different iteration put out by Coach Michael Rutherford.

Rutherford's site also chronicles numerous other Couch affiliates using his methods (read: not randomized) over Couch's.

And this post by Everett -

http://performancemenu.com/wod/index.ph ... ailyID=882

Which notes how his programming (not Couch's/cf.com) helped Jolie Gentry accomplish more consitent performances in the Gaymes than an other competitor has managed.

[TomFurman]

From robbwolf.com

One of the top coaches and top Gyms in the country follow the MEBB template. Look for more opportunities to certify your practice as a MEBB gym through seminars including exposure to advanced programming features shortly.

About 4 years ago it came to my attention that my athletes were, as a general state, weak. This was no fault of their own as they came from backgrounds that included running, biking and a generally active lifestyles, but few if any had participated in formalized strength and conditioning. The general Crossfit programming I followed certainly improved their general conditioning however NO ONE rolled into my gym and turned a Fran or Diane at diagnostic loading. I by contrast turned pretty impressive numbers on these CrossFit standards almost from day-1 due to my background as a reasonably good powerlifter (565sqt, 565 DL, 345 bench at 181lbs). My experience with CrossFit was that of a strong athlete becoming a FIT athlete. I assumed my clients would follow a similar trajectory...this error can be chalked up to being Green as a coach and thinking that my journey would be every one's journey. It was about this time that Rutman shot an email to me with a template that included some max effort work rolled systematically into standard metabolic conditioning. At first I did not see the power of this method, but even I can be only so dense. If my clients lacked strength and technicality, they needed to lift consistently to address the issue.

Fast forward nearly 5 years and my gym is full of STRONG and FIT people. Our affiliate won the overhead squat/pull up workout at the CrossFit Games by 10 points and we placed 3rd overall. I keep hearing a purely randomized approach is the best way to complete fitness. I ran my gym in a randomized fashion, then I followed Coach Rut's ME Black Box and have produced not only top level CrossFitters, but also champion athletes from a number of sports. If you actually EARN your living coaching people you figure this stuff out eventually! Thank you to Coach Rut for making me a better coach and for helping to make CrossFit NorCal one of the best gyms around.

Robb Wolf

[Grandpa's Spells]

Well, you get some smart guys and a lot of clients as data points, they'll figure out randomization isn't the way to go sooner or later.

[Grandpa's Spells]

BTW, the fact that Rx'd CrossFit isn't even the best way to get good at CrossFit is very, very funny.

[WildGorillaMan]

Is this shit for realz?

http://crossfitinverness.blogspot.com/2 ... rules.html

1) Lactic acid is the Spartan's friend. The Spartan knows the value of anaerobic failure, and actively seeks it out. If he falls on his face, he waits only as long as necessary to move again before he continues.

2) The Spartan takes no breaks between exercises, unless it's to shove a non-Spartan out of the way.

3) The Spartan runs. He does not use Stairmasters, or stationary bikes, or ellipticals. He runs.

4) When the Spartan cannot run, he walks. When he cannot walk, he crawls. When he cannot crawl, he has failed.

5) The Spartan hits big muscles, like the back, the pectorals, the quadriceps and the glutes. He knows this means he is building functional muscle that will assist in the destruction of his enemies and in the production of testosterone (of which the Spartan has more than the average man).

6) By contrast, the Spartan does not waste much time on small muscles. They will grow as the result of functional exercise that hits the big muscles (see above). For example, the bicep is only useful in that it assists with chin-ups, and scaling enemy fortifications. Anything else is vanity.

7) The Spartan abhors cables and machines. This is for two reasons. First, to activate stabilizer muscles, the Spartan must depend on himself to balance the weight, not a machine. Second - look up the adjective "spartan" in the dictionary: "strict and austere." You should be able to do a Spartan workout in a FOB (field of battle).

8) The Spartan fears only one thing: his workout. The enemy pales in comparison to his workout. If he doesn't fear his workout, it isn't hard enough.

9) Puking is acceptable. Quitting is not. If he gives up here, he gives up in battle. This is unacceptable.

10) So nature abhors a vacuum, so the Spartan loathes missing a workout. A Spartan can complete a workout in his grandma's basement, a hotel room, or in a city park.

11) If the Spartan is not in pain during his workout, he is wrong.

12) The Spartan never cheats. He maintains proper technique throughout his training, because he knows that smooth is fast, and that he will be mocked mercilessly for, "girly pull-ups".

13) The Spartan knows the value of the basics: the push-up, the pull-up, the chin-up, the sit-up, the squat, and the dead-lift. He also knows the importance of variety, and seeks out different techniques of the above.


By: Captain Paul Lindsay, British Columbia Regiment (Duke of Connaught's Own)

[Gin Master]

Oh, it's definitely for real. I remember when this got posted on the comments a couple years ago. It turned into a @F bukakke fest. Damn, they suck.

[Mountebank]

Interesting info on the Gaymes:

Competitors had to submit their urine after the first event, getting all day to submit it once the first event was completed. No word as to whether or not they actually had someone observing the piss go in the cup...I doubt it though.

This is extremely interesting/suspicious considering that Khalipa was helped off the run course towards the finish into the medical tent--this should be an automatic DQ like in any other sport--then allowed to go back to the race, then fighting his way back up to 5th place?!? Let me guess, he submitted his urine right after the run, then took some "supplements" to help him "recover".

In the video I posted previously, there was mention that many athletes were "too dehydrated" to produce urine samples for drug testing. I'm sure that would be an automatic DQ anywhere else where drug testing was legit.

Cramping on the first event was also explained pretty well. I guess the @F method for trying to pee clean in a drug test is to take lots of diuretics. Doesn't work very well for a long hot run as the first event.

[Holland Oates]

It could have only been better if a bunch of those motherfuckers had died from their chronic stupidity.