The couch thread

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Gin Master
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Gin Master »

The military is no stranger to rhabdo cases and overuse injuries, so that shouldn't scare them off. Hopefully one of Couch's lawdawgs will demand confidentiality agreements in these suits.

Couch fucked himself, or rather, fucked his trainers, with the video of Makimba (naming a workout after someone you fucked up shows you take this stuff seriously :rolleyes: ). The video shows kids doing the workout. They are supervised by trainers, instructed in the technique, and corrected on form throughout the workout. There is no yelling, cursing, or puking. That, folks, is now the standard of care for @F workouts.

After the plaintiff's attorney shows that video to the jury, he'll ask the trainer if that's a good standard for @F workouts, to which the jackass will have to agree. Then he'll ask jackass if that's how things went down. Uh oh...

Getting an asshole like Couch on the stand is an attorney's dream. Most corporate representatives are well coached and don't give up anything. Couch is like Col. Jessup after a couple bottles of Night Train. He's too arrogant to admit he's wrong. Hell, he already hates the doctors and exercise scientists. I can't imagine how much he'd hate getting "talked down to" by some smarmy lawyer. Shit, I'd bring a set of rings into the courtroom just to nutpunch the SOB a little more.

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Fat Cat
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Fat Cat »

Paranoid delusion guy wrote:CrossFit as a whole (you and me) is waging war...in battle, an opponent will do anything to win.
i.e "We will do anything to win". Anything is a pretty radical commitment.
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T200
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Re: The couch thread

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Gin Master
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Gin Master »

Paranoid delusion guy wrote:CrossFit as a whole (you and me) is waging war. Our battleground is the health and fitness landscape. Our opponent is the Globo Gym. What's at stake is the future of fitness in the world. Oh, yeah, the winner's share of a $78 billion industry.

And here's why the RRG is of vital importance aside from insuring your a$$ doesn't get handed to you if someone does one-too-many rhabdo-inducing pullups after indulging in their birthday bash...

Our opponent will not go quietly into the night.

To think the Globo Gyms might just let us take what they have come to expect (income) is inane. Globos make money (not necessarily profit, nor fitness, but that is another post) and that money is, I suspect, being used to line the pockets of two major players. The conventional insurance industry and government officials are those players.

Why?

Because, in battle, an opponent will do anything to win. Especially if their lively hood (again, income) is on the line. You would too, maybe.

Here’s how it works… a $78 billion industry is being threatened by an upstart through loss of market share. Market share they cannot get their hands on. And due to the effectiveness of the upstart the Globos will NEVER get that market share back. And it’s only getting worse. See the upstart is growing at an unheard of rate. 300% over the pat 18 months. So the Globos read something about this Rhabdo case in the paper and immediately put a call into their insurance providers. Yes, plural, they use many providers and pay them a lot of money. And on that call the Globo tells the insurance company to “do something about the upstart because they are threatening our cushy lifestyle, er, I mean causing the permanent damage done by the evil rhabdo.” The insurance providers read the writing on the wall… their biggest client is risking loss of business which threatens the profit of the insurance companies. So the insurance companies have a dozen lobbyists in Washington DC. And those lobbyists lean on the legislators who are sympathetic to their cause.

How long do you think it will be, if we don’t take hold of our future, until nonsensical laws are passed covering the health and fitness industry? And don’t be surprised if adherence to those laws is only able to be met by large companies with deep checkbooks.
It takes much less time to declare Jihad.


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Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

Delusional Guy wrote:How long do you think it will be, if we don’t take hold of our future, until nonsensical laws are passed covering the health and fitness industry?
Um....don't look now clownfucker, but "laws covering the health and fitness industry" already exist in spades. Couch Glasshole is trying desperately to evade them but the noose is tightening.
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POD
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Re: The couch thread

Post by POD »

Who the fuck shoved a PVC pipe up Michael Houghton's ass? That motherfucker seems to roll around whenever anyone's getting banned just to make some snide comments and prove how inebriated he is with the CrossFit Kool-Aid.

Me: http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?p=540974
Garrison: http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=46227&page=3

Fucking hell. I tried to remain civil in that thread. I had a good dozen insults for his ass, but I held back... and why the fuck for? Fucking hell. Pisses me off.


TerryB
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Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

Nobody cares about your ennui caused by some nobody Kool-Aid drinker who gets under your skin.

There are bigger fish to fry here.

You fuckin Irish are all the same.
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T200
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Re: The couch thread

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protobuilder wrote: You fuckin Irish are all the same.
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Blaidd Drwg
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Blaidd Drwg »

I lulz the idea of waging war on the globo gym....

1) most people belong to a club not to go throw up but to kick around, play some squash, and hit on the pilates instructor...

2) globo gyms makes that money because person 1) signed up for automatic withdrawl and the quit going said globo gym.

3) Crossfit has based it's growth model on teaching every PYT with nice funbags and no gag reflex (gawdblesssher) to become a "certified trainer"...there being a certain saturation level for warehouse spaces full of people wanting to throw up together whilst being yelled at by PYTFUNBAGS, she has to go work at globo gym and begins perpatrating crossfit on unsuspecting lazy fucktards. thus wreaking havoc in a even less supervised manner than your average crossfit gulag.....lawsuits ensue...

At it's core, Crossfitt is not competing with 24 hour fitness or the local raquet club. Crossfit is trying to compete against anybody with a library card, a garage, a barbell, a sand bag and a jump rope...and we never wanted what they were selling anyway.
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Anon
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Anon »

Two things a man should not type in a forum, one from the goobye Philippe thread:

1. I almost peed myself
and
2. I tasted a little puke

phegs
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Gary John
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Gary John »

Best thing about this thread:

Started with hints of maybe Glasshole drinks too much.
Now, accepted fact, here and elsewhere.

Glasshole tries and covers his own ass with the rpg shit, we discuss it and point out all the flaws.


Sweet.
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POD
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Re: The couch thread

Post by POD »

Joe wrote:Two things a man should not type in a forum, one from the goobye Philippe thread:

1. I almost peed myself
and
2. I tasted a little puke

phegs
Well, puking is the gold standard of a good workout, so that means his laughing must have been pushing the borders of a new modal domain. Good work!

I've never heard of wetting oneself as a measure of intensity, but I'm sure that standard will be introduced before the 2010 Gaymes.

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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

The founder of the APA, has an entire collection of women peeing themselves on the platform.

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Anon
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Anon »

I cannot diss the chic who squirts on the platform, I am too fond of the anatomy anyway.

Douche is the guy who writes "I almost peed myself" after reading something funny, yea even "Truster Hitler" (tm).
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chi
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Re: The couch thread

Post by chi »

Grandpa's Spells wrote:I would have thought ThrusterHitler would have been verbotten on @Fit. Good thing they didn't find the ANYC one.
Titties facespaz update this morning:
Allison Bishop Wants to know where this "HitlerNYC" thing came from! 8 hours ago · Comment · LikeUnlike
I'd say on the bottom of that self-actualisation pyramid shit, proper decent coffee is in there with wifi, tits, food and shelter


Botototo
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Botototo »

These things are caused by eating animal foods and salt. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts and seeds have no salt. Actually man adds salt to food to make you fat and sick so you will spend lots of money on foods and medications. If people like you change to a mostly plant foods diet that is not man-made (like bread), you would put the doctors out of business. The doctor is not your brother. He does not care about your health, only your money. If you do not pay him, he would be happy to see you in prison, being raped and killed by another prisoner.

If you put 4 ounces of salt in water and drink it, you will be dead in less than an hour. Salt is not a food. Any chemist can explain why 4 ounce of salt will kill you. Simply put, sodium is in all foods. But to get that much sodium from foods, you would need to eat over 100 pounds of food which would burst your stomach killing you before getting that much sodium. Food has all the sodium you need and the sodium in salt is inorganic like getting iron from eating nail shavings. The governor of CA says that milk is for babies. Stop drinking animal's milk. You can drink soy, almond, rice or hemp milk.
Wowww.

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Damien
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Damien »

Brandon Oto wrote:
These things are caused by eating animal foods and salt. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts and seeds have no salt. Actually man adds salt to food to make you fat and sick so you will spend lots of money on foods and medications. If people like you change to a mostly plant foods diet that is not man-made (like bread), you would put the doctors out of business. The doctor is not your brother. He does not care about your health, only your money. If you do not pay him, he would be happy to see you in prison, being raped and killed by another prisoner.

If you put 4 ounces of salt in water and drink it, you will be dead in less than an hour. Salt is not a food. Any chemist can explain why 4 ounce of salt will kill you. Simply put, sodium is in all foods. But to get that much sodium from foods, you would need to eat over 100 pounds of food which would burst your stomach killing you before getting that much sodium. Food has all the sodium you need and the sodium in salt is inorganic like getting iron from eating nail shavings. The governor of CA says that milk is for babies. Stop drinking animal's milk. You can drink soy, almond, rice or hemp milk.
Wowww.
Yeah, it's a big bolshevistic conspiracy, involving doctors, big bussinesses and the man.
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chi
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Re: The couch thread

Post by chi »

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what the fuck!
I'd say on the bottom of that self-actualisation pyramid shit, proper decent coffee is in there with wifi, tits, food and shelter

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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

There is no evidence, NONE, that sodium intake, even excessive sodium intake (up to a certain point) is harmful to a human UNLESS they have an underlying condition that sodium may make worse.

Scott Abel, a bodybuilder and nutbar (met him back in 1991 or so, actually) had a decent piece on this somewhere.

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Grandpa's Spells
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Grandpa's Spells »

chi wrote:
Grandpa's Spells wrote:I would have thought ThrusterHitler would have been verbotten on @Fit. Good thing they didn't find the ANYC one.
Titties facespaz update this morning:
Allison Bishop Wants to know where this "HitlerNYC" thing came from! 8 hours ago · Comment · LikeUnlike
She knows where it came from. She posted that so others would google and see it.

Sometimes the junior varsity attention whoring becomes tiresome.
One of the downsides of the Internet is that it allows like-minded people to form communities, and sometimes those communities are stupid.


TerryB
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Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

Uh-oh, these Kool-Aid Drinkers obviously missed the Caviston flap, where Couch accused Caviston of hurting national security by using "bad" form while picking up a log! It really disappoints me to see The Flock failing to do their homework.
It's not bad/sad to post pics of bad form. It's only bad if you label it as "instructional".

But there's a crop of exercise videos that show what your form should be, and as an individual you should be chasing form and intensity for the rest of your Crossfitting career, a couple pics or videos of sub-par form, shouldn't be enough to derail you in your own quest.

Comment #78 - Posted by: Aush at May 7, 2009 8:40 AM

Perfect form vs. effective form, now that should be the question. Are the guys in the picture working effectively? I think so. Are they doing so at the expense of their safety? Other than their location serving overseas, I don't see anything Earth shattering that is a danger to any of them. They do look like they are handling the work just fine, even in the less than ideal, compromised HSPU position.

Comment #79 - Posted by: JamesHumphrey, Jr. at May 7, 2009 8:41 AM
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"

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Gin Master
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Gin Master »

You must be a Communist, proto. America is less safe because hacks like Caviston is lifting a 20# log with a rounded back while he's talking to someone.

Re: the comments. Are these freaks really bitching about the Army guys? These are the kind of kweers that look at lezzie pron and bitch about the bad pedicures.

In other news, only a week to go to fund Couch's gin tab. Frau Darsh is starting to call people out on the affiliate blog. It's starting to get thick over there.
Jack - we all pay for the negligent acts of others when we buy insurance for anything. Car, homeowners, general liability, it doesn't matter. If you're an affiliate (and I doubt you are), you should understand that looking around for coverage was a challenge and there are many exclusions to the policy. Is your affiliate covered for loss of use of the gym due to a storm? Is it covered for theft by an employee/trainer? What about sexual harassment of a member? Covered for that? What about coverage for libel? What about coverage for telling someone about the Zone Diet?

Then, one day, you have a client that's been training with you for awhile, he's pretty strong, goes hard and fast on the WODs, and you decide to do G.I. Jane (100 burpee-pullups). Not to terrible of a WOD, right? And at the end of the WOD, your client looks pretty good, has no signs of injury, and leaves the gym a happily trained client. You think all is good until the next morning when you get the call that he can't move his arms, he's in extreme pain, and his urine is dark. You tell him to go to the ER and you'll come check on him later. ER then confirms rhabdo and you feel bad about it, but you really weren't sure how that could have happened because no one else in the class got it, his time was within the norm, and he was a solid client.

Since your client then loses 5 days of work, his contractor business got put on hold and he lost a potential client. He's now pissed and decides that you should pay for his injury, lost work time, and lost profit in the job he lost as well. But you didn't do it, right? Or did you?

Scenario #1 -
Your insurance company gets the claim, sees that it's for $25,000, and just decides to go ahead an pay it at a nuisance claim. Then, you get the notice that your coverage is dropped. You have trouble finding other coverage and you can no longer keep your gym open without coverage. You close your doors.

Scenario #2 -
Your insurer decides to litigate the claim, but gets an attorney that can't even pronounce rhabdomyolysis correctly, is a fat pig sitting behind a desk, but he's a good litigator nonetheless. During discovery, the nature of the WOD comes out, but because your attorney (your carrier's attorney) doesn't ask the right questions during the deposition because he doesn't understand CrossFit, rhabdo, and the like, the suing client's attorney wins a huge settlement, or worse, your attorney loses the case at trial on summary judgment or a jury verdict because you looked like the most ignorant, stupid trainer out there.

Again, you get dropped and go out of business. You then realize that the attorney you thought would help you was only interested in what the insurer wanted and he wouldn't listen to you. (a la Mimms case.)

Scenario #3 -
Your client decides to sue you and wants to take you down. But you contact your insurer - the CF risk retention group - and turn the matter over to them. Discovery starts immediately and the suing client's attorney realizes he's in for a fight. Prior to completion of discovery, the suing client's attorney offers a settlement of $50,000. You and your attorney (the RRG attorney) say no. Turns out, your client had been working long hours in 90 degree heat for three straight days (contractor, remember) before working out with you and had done a max-rep bench press contest with his brother-in-law the night before while polishing off a pint of tequila during Cinco de Mayo celebrations. Of course, he didn't tell you about any of this when he came in to train, but those factors contributed significantly to the rhabdo and perhaps the bench pressing incident actually caused the rhabdo, not the GI Jane WOD you had the class do.

Jury finds in favor of the defendant - that's you. You're vindicated and go back to your gym to do the 6 pm class. And the next week, your carrier (CF RRG) sends you your renewal notice.

Which scenario do you want to find yourself in? This isn't a scare tactic. This isn't a joke about CF finding insurance. This isn't collectivism. It's reality. We've got a long way to go to get to capitalization by 5/15. Do I think it will happen? Unfortunately, I don't think it will. Unless the buy in for the RRG is made a part of affiliation fees, I just don't think the 80% of the affiliates out there will understand the seriousness of this. I really hope I'm wrong.
Comment #5 - Posted by: Steve- CF Ocean City at May 8, 2009 3:20 AM

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Batboy2/75
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Batboy2/75 »

BTW-Operation Gin Soaked Hobo is a go. I repeat, Operation Gin Soaked Hobo is a go.

Stay tuned to your internet.

That is all for now.
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Gin Master
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Gin Master »

Like the great artists of old, Couch has to reach another plane before programming the WODs. Here is artistic process captured on film.

http://www.mikezap.com/funny-stuff/drun ... assed-out/


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Re: The couch thread

Post by CultBuster »

Which scenario do you want to find yourself in? This isn't a scare tactic. This isn't a joke about CF finding insurance. This isn't collectivism. It's reality. We've got a long way to go to get to capitalization by 5/15. Do I think it will happen? Unfortunately, I don't think it will. Unless the buy in for the RRG is made a part of affiliation fees, I just don't think the 80% of the affiliates out there will understand the seriousness of this. I really hope I'm wrong.
Comment #5 - Posted by: Steve- CF Ocean City at May 8, 2009 3:20 AM
This guy has been pimping RRG hard, funny that his affilaite has been all over the main page.

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