IGX

44/45:

I do not begrudge Coach his financial success, but be aware that he's done really well by CrossFit. The fact that the website is free is actually one of the key reasons -why- he has made CrossFit into a success for him financially.

I feel no obligation to "give back" by contributing to the RRG. Of course that doesn't mean one shouldn't contribute to the RRG. Contributing to the RRG should be considered on its merits, independent of whether or not you feel like you owe Coach.
Comment #51 - Posted by: Sameer at May 15, 2009 6:15 AM

Grandpa's Spells wrote:The RRG is an incredibly weak performer.

RPC wrote:MY GOD THIS LIFTING

Somebody embed this I've got no skillz.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmDTz1Pc ... r_embedded

Patrick Donnelly wrote:The closing lines of that video are classic Couch.


Anyway, here's the webpage of one of the guys who responded to my post* on the affiliate blog:
http://teamcrossfitacademy.com/trainers ... p?userID=2

Eerily stereotypical - he even has his own version of Dirt Diva. Not kidding!

*At least, I'm fairly certain he's the guy. He signed the post as "-E", marked his username as "Suffer," and left the URL of that CrossFit affiliate. He's the only trainer there whose name begins with an E.

"Unsound mechanics at submaximal loads = injuries."

WildGorillaMan wrote:

RPC wrote:MY GOD THIS LIFTING

Somebody embed this I've got no skillz.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmDTz1Pc ... r_embedded

Wow, they don't stint at handing out reacharounds for jerking 40kg, do they? Lulz @ all the hooting and cheering.

Ironically, there's a couple of OL clubs in Calgary with some hugely strong, badass competitive lifters, and that's just the women.

Gin Master wrote:* picture with the Diva

Patrick Donnelly wrote:

Gin Master wrote:* picture with the Diva

Wait, that IS Dirt Diva? Are you sure? She looks older and more pale.

"Functional strength is the successful application of force along productive lines."

"Calm those worthless tremors." (speaking about motor adaptation in frictionless situations, i.e., rings)

"I'm a fitness whore, I don't care how you feel, only about performance."

"FrankenFitters" (on the top CrossFitters, such as Annie, Greg A., Eva T., Nicole C., Josh E., etc.)

"I don't want to grade my own papers." (on letting others validate the efficacy of CrossFit protocols)

"Insist foundational pieces are rock-solid."

"Response to stimulus is systemic rather than mechanical."

"We exist on the margins of decrepitude."

"Metabolically inert material can be carved off and replaced [with muscle] with no net displacement."

"No brain, no pain."

"Be stupid for me."

"Alter your hormonal milieu."

"Don't paint a dirty car." (on hiding poor form with more weight and/or speed)

"Dead cat, angry beaver, sleepy bug." ("rehab" exercises)

"If you cannot deadlift you are injured but asymptomatic."

"Like towing a car with a bungee cord." (bent arms in oly lifts)

"All the charm of a house of cards in the wind." (on poor form)

"Unsound mechanics at submaximal loads = injuries."

"Performance is directly correlated with intensity. Intensity is directly correlated with discomfort."

"We fail at the margins of our experience."

"Push-up, sit-up, jumping jack, lather, rinse, repeat." (weakness of most standard PT)

"Burn on the pyre of ego." (on the perils of failing to regulate intensity)

"CrossFit is open-source fitness technology."

"If you don't get the ABCs we don't jump into English Lit."

"Don't hammer a wine glass."

"First, second, third, dead fuckin' last." (on the motivating properties of keeping score)

"It is very motivating to get your sac publicly smoked by a five-foot female hippie pottery teacher from the local high school." (Special Forces reaction to CrossFit seminar)

"Vertical force translates well into rotational force."

"I have great cardio-respiratory endurance, it is just that the track is too long."

"Hiding from your weaknesses is a recipe for incapacity and error."

"Why don't you try some Judaism tonight?" (on people's fanatic attachment to their diet)

"We should call them Bagelarians." (on vegetarians)

"Triathletes are sorely lacking in strength, speed, power, flexibility, accuracy, agility, and coordination, but they've sure got a lock on malnutrition."

"Training for a fight by running twenty minutes everyday makes perfect sense if you plan on running away from your opponent and know you will be getting a ten minute headstart."

"The cost of regular extended aerobic training is decreased speed, power, and strength."

"An athlete diminished by excessive aerobic training is slow and weak. At CrossFit we call that state, 'spun-down.'"

"Stick to the basics and when you feel you've mastered them it's time to start all over again, begin anew - again with the basics - this time paying closer attention."

"Other than steroid use I cannot think of a single contribution to athletic performance coming from the sport science community."

"There is no single sport or activity that trains for perfect fitness. True fitness requires a compromise in adaptation broader than the demands of most every sport."

"Cardiorespiratory endurance, stamina, strength, power, speed, flexibility, agility, accuracy, balance, and coordination: you're as good as your weakest link."

"Squat, jump, climb, throw, lift."

"Generating and sustaining significant work output from the upper body is a critical domain generally, and sadly, reserved for rowers, combatants, and cross country skiers."

"No, it doesn't ever get any easier. You wouldn't want it to either."

"The most important criterion for exercise selection is neuroendocrine effect. Regardless of your sport or your fitness goals these moves are the shortest path to success."

"Endurance, stamina, strength, and flexibility are developed through training, and these adaptations manifest as measurable changes in the body. Coordination, agility, balance, and accuracy are developed through practice and these adaptations come about through changes in the nervous system. Power and speed have equal requirements for training and practice."

"Blur the distinction between strength training and metabolic conditioning for the simple reason that nature's challenges are typically blind to the distinction."

"A strength and conditioning regimen devoid of gymnastics practice and skills is deficient."

"Traditionally, callisthenic movements are high rep movements, but there are numerous bodyweight exercises that only rarely can be performed for more than a rep or two. Find them. Explore them!"

"Reserve the long slow distance work for recreational breaks from your regular training regimen."

"Farther, longer is not fitter, is not healthier."

"Your gym isn't complete without parallettes; not even close."

"Go home - Get 25-30 dips - then come back in here and you will have about 3 dips on my rings."

"Why is it that a guy with a 95 pound deadlift and 6 pull-ups is the first to worry about developing his grip?"

"Basketball, Volleyball, Wrestling, Boxing, and Football are each by large preponderance anaerobic not aerobic sports. Knowing and understanding this distinction is the first step to responsible, effective coaching."

"The nonviolent approach does not immediately change the heart of the oppressor. It first does something to the hearts and souls of those committed to it. It gives them new self-respect; it calls up resources of strength and courage that they did not know they had. Finally it reaches the opponent and so stirs his conscience that reconciliation becomes a reality." Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968, American Black Leader, Nobel Peace Prize Winner, 1964)

"When dealing with similarly enlightened souls it does do exactly that. When confronting the rest of the world this very same strategy turns you into Scooby Snacks."

"Mel Siff thought that everything he saw was bullshit; well since 99% of everything is bull-shit he was right 99% of the time--an amazing track record. This is the nature of the skeptic, a nature I shared with Dr. Siff."

"For many of our people fitness training has become their sport--a sport where the aims are simply to become as fit as possible."

"Few understand the overwhelming importance of anaerobic exercise to general fitness."

"The cost of regular extended aerobic training is decreased speed, power, and strength."

"The ultimate strength and conditioning facility is your own garage-gym."

"Prescribing thirty minute bouts of monostructural cardio (bike, run, swim, row, elliptical walker, etc.) in the hopes of maximizing fitness for a fight of five rounds of five minutes each is the epitome of incompetence."

"The notion that holding a heart rate of 180 bpm for twenty minutes on a bike is good cardio whereas holding 180 bpm for twenty minutes in a circuit of weightlifting is of lesser cardiovascular value is widespread yet ludicrous."

"I wish I knew how you could overstate the value of the deadlift."

"Develop the capacity of a novice 800 meter track athlete, gymnast, and weightlifter and you'll be fitter than any world class runner, gymnast, or weightlifter."

"The distinction we make between resistance training and metabolic training ("cardio") may seem clear to us, but nature honors no such distinction."

"Optimal physical competency is a compromise, a balancing act; a compromise between not only conflicting but perfectly antagonistic skills. The manner in which you resolve this conflict defines the quality of your fitness and is the art of exercise prescription."

"Pick up any book on nutrition, flip to the index, and look up insulin and hyperinsulinism. If there is nothing there the book is pure bull-shit, put it down."

"Just because you're 250 pounds doesn't excuse or exempt you from needing 25 pull-ups."

"Clear out your garage and turn it into a gym. There's no home improvement you can make that'll benefit you more."

"Be impressed by intensity, not volume."

"Why is it that strength training is commonly recognized as a discipline across several training modalities yet there is no equivalent metabolic conditioning recognized across multiple training modalities?"

"If you can brag about either a low 4's mile or a high 4's bench press you could also be a lot fitter." (No one has both.)

"Have fun screwing up...it means you are removing your ego from the problem."

"We are practicing not weightlifting but commitment. Commitment spawns success. Only by redoubling our efforts do we best succeed. Expecting success to motivate our efforts is the loser's gambit."

"The magic is in the movement, the art is in the programming, the science is in the explanation, and the fun is in the community."

"Work capacity is to fitness what location is to real estate."

TT #8:

Patrick is active on the IGX forums. He's trying to make his bones over there by slamming Crossfit so the other boys will like him. By posting his potshot here, he hopes that the IGX goons will quit calling him "Paddy" and "Pod" and other, more derogatory names.

Patrick: quit trying for that IGX affection. You're trying too hard, and your desperation is palpable.
Comment #14 - Posted by: CL at May 15, 2009 9:49 AM

The Bastard Son of the Shafman wrote:However, he does provide Couch quotes we can mock. I find the ones that aren't just wrong to be outright hilarious, and illustrative of his disregard for damn near anyone. I'll bold a few that made me laugh out loud.

The Bastard Son of the Shafman wrote:However, he does provide Couch quotes we can mock. I find the ones that aren't just wrong to be outright hilarious, and illustrative of his disregard for damn near anyone. I'll bold a few that made me laugh out loud.

"Functional strength is the successful application of force along productive lines."

"Calm those worthless tremors." (speaking about motor adaptation in frictionless situations, i.e., rings)

"I'm a fitness whore, I don't care how you feel, only about performance."

"FrankenFitters" (on the top CrossFitters, such as Annie, Greg A., Eva T., Nicole C., Josh E., etc.)

"I don't want to grade my own papers." (on letting others validate the efficacy of CrossFit protocols)

"Insist foundational pieces are rock-solid."

"Response to stimulus is systemic rather than mechanical."

"We exist on the margins of decrepitude."

"Metabolically inert material can be carved off and replaced [with muscle] with no net displacement."

"No brain, no pain."

"Be stupid for me."

"Alter your hormonal milieu."

"Don't paint a dirty car." (on hiding poor form with more weight and/or speed)

"Dead cat, angry beaver, sleepy bug." ("rehab" exercises)

"If you cannot deadlift you are injured but asymptomatic."

"Like towing a car with a bungee cord." (bent arms in oly lifts)

"All the charm of a house of cards in the wind." (on poor form)

"Unsound mechanics at submaximal loads = injuries."

"Performance is directly correlated with intensity. Intensity is directly correlated with discomfort."

"We fail at the margins of our experience."

"Push-up, sit-up, jumping jack, lather, rinse, repeat." (weakness of most standard PT)

"Burn on the pyre of ego." (on the perils of failing to regulate intensity)

"CrossFit is open-source fitness technology."

"If you don't get the ABCs we don't jump into English Lit."

"Don't hammer a wine glass."

"First, second, third, dead fuckin' last." (on the motivating properties of keeping score)

"It is very motivating to get your sac publicly smoked by a five-foot female hippie pottery teacher from the local high school." (Special Forces reaction to CrossFit seminar)

"Vertical force translates well into rotational force."

"I have great cardio-respiratory endurance, it is just that the track is too long."

"Hiding from your weaknesses is a recipe for incapacity and error."

"Why don't you try some Judaism tonight?" (on people's fanatic attachment to their diet)

"We should call them Bagelarians." (on vegetarians)

"Triathletes are sorely lacking in strength, speed, power, flexibility, accuracy, agility, and coordination, but they've sure got a lock on malnutrition."

"Training for a fight by running twenty minutes everyday makes perfect sense if you plan on running away from your opponent and know you will be getting a ten minute headstart."

"The cost of regular extended aerobic training is decreased speed, power, and strength."

"An athlete diminished by excessive aerobic training is slow and weak. At CrossFit we call that state, 'spun-down.'"

"Stick to the basics and when you feel you've mastered them it's time to start all over again, begin anew - again with the basics - this time paying closer attention."

"Other than steroid use I cannot think of a single contribution to athletic performance coming from the sport science community."

"There is no single sport or activity that trains for perfect fitness. True fitness requires a compromise in adaptation broader than the demands of most every sport."

"Cardiorespiratory endurance, stamina, strength, power, speed, flexibility, agility, accuracy, balance, and coordination: you're as good as your weakest link."

"Squat, jump, climb, throw, lift."

"Generating and sustaining significant work output from the upper body is a critical domain generally, and sadly, reserved for rowers, combatants, and cross country skiers."

"No, it doesn't ever get any easier. You wouldn't want it to either."

"The most important criterion for exercise selection is neuroendocrine effect. Regardless of your sport or your fitness goals these moves are the shortest path to success."

"Endurance, stamina, strength, and flexibility are developed through training, and these adaptations manifest as measurable changes in the body. Coordination, agility, balance, and accuracy are developed through practice and these adaptations come about through changes in the nervous system. Power and speed have equal requirements for training and practice."

"Blur the distinction between strength training and metabolic conditioning for the simple reason that nature's challenges are typically blind to the distinction."

"A strength and conditioning regimen devoid of gymnastics practice and skills is deficient."

"Traditionally, callisthenic movements are high rep movements, but there are numerous bodyweight exercises that only rarely can be performed for more than a rep or two. Find them. Explore them!"

"Reserve the long slow distance work for recreational breaks from your regular training regimen."

"Farther, longer is not fitter, is not healthier."

"Your gym isn't complete without parallettes; not even close."

"Go home - Get 25-30 dips - then come back in here and you will have about 3 dips on my rings."

"Why is it that a guy with a 95 pound deadlift and 6 pull-ups is the first to worry about developing his grip?"

"Basketball, Volleyball, Wrestling, Boxing, and Football are each by large preponderance anaerobic not aerobic sports. Knowing and understanding this distinction is the first step to responsible, effective coaching."

"The nonviolent approach does not immediately change the heart of the oppressor. It first does something to the hearts and souls of those committed to it. It gives them new self-respect; it calls up resources of strength and courage that they did not know they had. Finally it reaches the opponent and so stirs his conscience that reconciliation becomes a reality." Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968, American Black Leader, Nobel Peace Prize Winner, 1964)

"When dealing with similarly enlightened souls it does do exactly that. When confronting the rest of the world this very same strategy turns you into Scooby Snacks."

"Mel Siff thought that everything he saw was bullshit; well since 99% of everything is bull-shit he was right 99% of the time--an amazing track record. This is the nature of the skeptic, a nature I shared with Dr. Siff."

"For many of our people fitness training has become their sport--a sport where the aims are simply to become as fit as possible."

"Few understand the overwhelming importance of anaerobic exercise to general fitness."

"The cost of regular extended aerobic training is decreased speed, power, and strength."

"The ultimate strength and conditioning facility is your own garage-gym."

"Prescribing thirty minute bouts of monostructural cardio (bike, run, swim, row, elliptical walker, etc.) in the hopes of maximizing fitness for a fight of five rounds of five minutes each is the epitome of incompetence."

"The notion that holding a heart rate of 180 bpm for twenty minutes on a bike is good cardio whereas holding 180 bpm for twenty minutes in a circuit of weightlifting is of lesser cardiovascular value is widespread yet ludicrous."

"I wish I knew how you could overstate the value of the deadlift."

"Develop the capacity of a novice 800 meter track athlete, gymnast, and weightlifter and you'll be fitter than any world class runner, gymnast, or weightlifter."

"The distinction we make between resistance training and metabolic training ("cardio") may seem clear to us, but nature honors no such distinction."

"Optimal physical competency is a compromise, a balancing act; a compromise between not only conflicting but perfectly antagonistic skills. The manner in which you resolve this conflict defines the quality of your fitness and is the art of exercise prescription."

"Pick up any book on nutrition, flip to the index, and look up insulin and hyperinsulinism. If there is nothing there the book is pure bull-shit, put it down."

"Just because you're 250 pounds doesn't excuse or exempt you from needing 25 pull-ups."

"Clear out your garage and turn it into a gym. There's no home improvement you can make that'll benefit you more."

"Be impressed by intensity, not volume."

"Why is it that strength training is commonly recognized as a discipline across several training modalities yet there is no equivalent metabolic conditioning recognized across multiple training modalities?"

"If you can brag about either a low 4's mile or a high 4's bench press you could also be a lot fitter." (No one has both.)

"Have fun screwing up...it means you are removing your ego from the problem."

"We are practicing not weightlifting but commitment. Commitment spawns success. Only by redoubling our efforts do we best succeed. Expecting success to motivate our efforts is the loser's gambit."

"The magic is in the movement, the art is in the programming, the science is in the explanation, and the fun is in the community."

"Work capacity is to fitness what location is to real estate."

"Develop the capacity of a novice 800 meter track athlete, gymnast, and weightlifter and you'll be fitter than any world class runner, gymnast, or weightlifter."

Couch wrote:"The distinction we make between resistance training and metabolic training ("cardio") may seem clear to us, but nature honors no such distinction."

WildGorillaMan wrote:

The Bastard Son of the Shafman wrote:However, he does provide Couch quotes we can mock. I find the ones that aren't just wrong to be outright hilarious, and illustrative of his disregard for damn near anyone. I'll bold a few that made me laugh out loud.

List

Every single one of those should be included in his epitaph. It's going to take a headstone the size of his liver to fit them all on there.

"Alter your hormonal milieu."

Couch wrote:Alter your hormonal milieu.

protobuilder wrote:

Couch wrote:Alter your hormonal milieu.

Some of the Cultfit women (?) took this to heart.