The couch thread

wtfmate · Post by **wtfmate** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 7:36 pm

The Unflushable DEATHTURD wrote:
Gary John wrote:Little fucking guy with an RPG takes out an APC.

Happened all the time. So, when we got back to base camp, we'd work on our pull-ups?

The bace camp warriors were the ones working out.

We got drunk and smoked dope until it was time to go to that fighting stuff.

I love the wannabes. So, if you needed to lift four wounded guys after running 30 miles through the rice paddy, and one of your arms fell off...............
You clearly don't know nothin. A real man would have gotten himself a permanant light duty profile because of an unspecified ring injury.

=D> =D> =D>

T-L · Post by **T-L** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 7:44 pm

The Unflushable DEATHTURD wrote:
Gary John wrote:Little fucking guy with an RPG takes out an APC.

Happened all the time. So, when we got back to base camp, we'd work on our pull-ups?

The bace camp warriors were the ones working out.

We got drunk and smoked dope until it was time to go to that fighting stuff.

I love the wannabes. So, if you needed to lift four wounded guys after running 30 miles through the rice paddy, and one of your arms fell off...............
You clearly don't know nothin. A real man would have gotten himself a permanant light duty profile because of an unspecified ring injury.

Or started an 'elite fitness revolution' so he could pay his gin and whore bills

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 7:52 pm

Somebody who knows some people in Westside needs to get the real scoop, because my gut tells me this ain't it:
http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/2 ... 91228.html

Supposedly Louie Simmons wrote:Louie Simmons offers up his impression of instructing CrossFitters at the cert . . .

To all CrossFit members:

It was my pleasure to host my first CrossFit seminar for Powerlifting at Westside Barbell Columbus, OH. I was very impressed with each and every one of the CrossFit members. They were very receptive to the Westside conjugant method of training. This system is a mixture of the Soviet and Bulgarian System and Westsides own 43 years of experience. It's a perfect blend for Crossfit enthusiasts. The women were very receptive and I was amazed at their fitness level. They were as hard as nails, yet polished as pearls. They were very fit and ambitious. The guys were ultra athletics, strong and versatile. To put it in perspective, they are half man and half amazing. A big thanks to Dave Castro, the camera crew and the CrossFit affiliation for allowing me and Westside Barbell to perform clinics to teach proper lifting technique and loading. I can't wait until January's clinic. See you then!

Louie Simmons
Westside Barbell

Why do I get the feeling that @FHQ wrote this? Misspelling "conjugate"? Thanking the "@F affiliation" (WTF is that, anyway)? Thanking Shave Asstro by name, thanking the freaking camera crew? Something stinks here IMO. LOL at the "women were very receptive".

T200 · Post by **T200** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 7:56 pm

Quack Attack wrote:
Supposedly Louie Simmons wrote:To put it in perspective, they are half man

Only half men...that much is legit IMO.

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 8:00 pm

Quack Attack wrote:Somebody who knows some people in Westside needs to get the real scoop, because my gut tells me this ain't it:
http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/2 ... 91228.html
Supposedly Louie Simmons wrote:Louie Simmons offers up his impression of instructing CrossFitters at the cert . . .

To all CrossFit members:

It was my pleasure to host my first CrossFit seminar for Powerlifting at Westside Barbell Columbus, OH. I was very impressed with each and every one of the CrossFit members. They were very receptive to the Westside conjugant method of training. This system is a mixture of the Soviet and Bulgarian System and Westsides own 43 years of experience. It's a perfect blend for Crossfit enthusiasts. The women were very receptive and I was amazed at their fitness level. They were as hard as nails, yet polished as pearls. They were very fit and ambitious. The guys were ultra athletics, strong and versatile. To put it in perspective, they are half man and half amazing. A big thanks to Dave Castro, the camera crew and the CrossFit affiliation for allowing me and Westside Barbell to perform clinics to teach proper lifting technique and loading. I can't wait until January's clinic. See you then!

Louie Simmons
Westside Barbell
Why do I get the feeling that @FHQ wrote this? Misspelling "conjugate"? Thanking the "@F affiliation" (WTF is that, anyway)? Thanking Shave Asstro by name, thanking the freaking camera crew? Something stinks here IMO. LOL at the "women were very receptive".

"We'll do anything to get you to give us a good review."
"Anything?"

wtfmate · Post by **wtfmate** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 8:15 pm

Quack Attack wrote:Somebody who knows some people in Westside needs to get the real scoop, because my gut tells me this ain't it:
http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/2 ... 91228.html
Supposedly Louie Simmons wrote:Louie Simmons offers up his impression of instructing CrossFitters at the cert . . .

To all CrossFit members:

It was my pleasure to host my first CrossFit seminar for Powerlifting at Westside Barbell Columbus, OH. I was very impressed with each and every one of the CrossFit members. They were very receptive to the Westside conjugant method of training. This system is a mixture of the Soviet and Bulgarian System and Westsides own 43 years of experience. It's a perfect blend for Crossfit enthusiasts. The women were very receptive and I was amazed at their fitness level. They were as hard as nails, yet polished as pearls. They were very fit and ambitious. The guys were ultra athletics, strong and versatile. To put it in perspective, they are half man and half amazing. A big thanks to Dave Castro, the camera crew and the CrossFit affiliation for allowing me and Westside Barbell to perform clinics to teach proper lifting technique and loading. I can't wait until January's clinic. See you then!

Louie Simmons
Westside Barbell
Why do I get the feeling that @FHQ wrote this? Misspelling "conjugate"? Thanking the "@F affiliation" (WTF is that, anyway)? Thanking Shave Asstro by name, thanking the freaking camera crew? Something stinks here IMO. LOL at the "women were very receptive".

Of course its a ploy. Money gets people to say things all the time...

Grandpa's Spells · Post by **Grandpa's Spells** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 8:15 pm

T200 wrote:
Quack Attack wrote:
Supposedly Louie Simmons wrote:To put it in perspective, they are half man

Only half men...that much is legit IMO.

I thought that was a pretty clever backhanded choice of words.

johno · Post by **johno** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 8:37 pm

they are half man and half amazing.

half amazing = totally fabulous

Kraj · Post by **Kraj** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 8:54 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:MIDGET POWER!

I don't want to be a dick about correcting people but that's actually our own resident lesbian, Jezebel Jones.

Jag Panzer · Post by **Jag Panzer** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 8:56 pm

BigAngry wrote:

That one on the right has that combo of crazy-eyed schoolteacher, slash-your-tires-if-you-leave-me tooth-grin, and lunch-lady arms to know she'd be a fun night on the town.

Jag Panzer · Post by **Jag Panzer** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 8:59 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:

Those aren't just "crazy eyes" those are "crazy as a shithouse rat eyes." Me likey.

Christ those pics got worse as you went down the list

She looked like a young lithe hott at a distance. Now she just looks like a life-long smoker that's spent too much time in the tanning bed.

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 9:01 pm

Much better with a quick chop to get the faggot in the background out of the picture.

Sassenach · Post by **Sassenach** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 9:01 pm

Kraj wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:MIDGET POWER!

I don't want to be a dick about correcting people but that's actually our own resident lesbian, Jezebel Jones.

I'm much taller, with much bigger tits. And I don't do OLY or nutfit.

Jag Panzer · Post by **Jag Panzer** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 9:02 pm

I can't tell if that's a regular midget or an angry dyke midget that works security at the mall.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 9:12 pm

One of the new "clinically experienced" MDs, Michael Ray, who appears to be replacing Mr. Wolff:
http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... eCarbs.wmv
http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... eCarbs.mov
He has tons of clinical nutrition experience, sure, given that he is a *cough* ER Physician... *cough*

Not even mentioning the confusion likely to be induced in the sheeple by what he presents...uh, is it the "Zone ratio" that works the supposed magic, or is it simply macronutrients? Stupid.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 9:22 pm

So what does a steady diet of @F get you? Well, let Skip Chase tell you...
http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=53978

Skip Chase wrote:Oct of 2008 I had a total knee replacement of my left knee. It took 12 months to totally recover and I was just getting back into rx'd WOD's and I tore a shoulder rotator and also will have to have a bone spur removed and AC resection on Jan 26th. (all caused by arthritis)

I am thankful that with CrossFit, I will get back to full WOD's again sometime after a 4-6 month recovery.

Yeah, um, it doesn't take much medical knowledge to know that arthritis doesn't "cause" rotator cuff tears...however, violently jerking around weights and pull-up bars can and apparently does!

Kraj · Post by **Kraj** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 9:23 pm

Jezebel Jones wrote:I'm much taller, with much bigger tits. And I don't do OLY or nutfit.

My bad. But you can see how I made that mistake, right? I mean, we're talking peaches and nectarines here. Sorry for not checking for the fuzz.

POD · Post by **POD** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 9:24 pm

wtfmate wrote:
ab g-d wrote:I know the internet, and CF in particular, is the home of saying shit you would never say to the same person face to face - but picture if you will Couch saying this shit in person Caviston.
I can't picture Couch saying anything outside of a warm fuzzy setting, nevermind picking up a log. Fact is he can't do shit that requires a pair.

Couch is the original pajama-clad postulator, and he still can, at his age, outperform more postulators than not.

wtfmate · Post by **wtfmate** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 10:09 pm

Quack Attack wrote:One of the new "clinically experienced" MDs, Michael Ray, who appears to be replacing Mr. Wolff:
http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... eCarbs.wmv
http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... eCarbs.mov
He has tons of clinical nutrition experience, sure, given that he is a *cough* ER Physician... *cough*

Not even mentioning the confusion likely to be induced in the sheeple by what he presents...uh, is it the "Zone ratio" that works the supposed magic, or is it simply macronutrients? Stupid.

Because that guy wouldn't have been in a car crash had he been reaching for a Zone bar, rather than his french fries.

Notice that was at a CF LV1 cert. $1000 bucks to be told garbage by an ER doc.

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 10:12 pm

Quack Attack wrote:So what does a steady diet of @F get you? Well, let Skip Chase tell you...
http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=53978
Skip Chase wrote:Oct of 2008 I had a total knee replacement of my left knee. It took 12 months to totally recover and I was just getting back into rx'd WOD's and I tore a shoulder rotator and also will have to have a bone spur removed and AC resection on Jan 26th. (all caused by arthritis)

I am thankful that with CrossFit, I will get back to full WOD's again sometime after a 4-6 month recovery.
Yeah, um, it doesn't take much medical knowledge to know that arthritis doesn't "cause" rotator cuff tears...however, violently jerking around weights and pull-up bars can and apparently does!

Tough to be really good at your sport(s) when the strength and conditioning program you use injures you for year-long stretches at a time.

wtfmate · Post by **wtfmate** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 10:37 pm

Yes I Have Balls wrote:
Quack Attack wrote:So what does a steady diet of @F get you? Well, let Skip Chase tell you...
http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=53978
Skip Chase wrote:Oct of 2008 I had a total knee replacement of my left knee. It took 12 months to totally recover and I was just getting back into rx'd WOD's and I tore a shoulder rotator and also will have to have a bone spur removed and AC resection on Jan 26th. (all caused by arthritis)

I am thankful that with CrossFit, I will get back to full WOD's again sometime after a 4-6 month recovery.
Yeah, um, it doesn't take much medical knowledge to know that arthritis doesn't "cause" rotator cuff tears...however, violently jerking around weights and pull-up bars can and apparently does!
Tough to be really good at your sport(s) when the strength and conditioning program you use injures you for year-long stretches at a time.

His sport is sit-ups. http://www.topendsports.com/testing/records/situps.htm

Another source lists the current verified world record held by Skip Chase of the USA, who did 110,915 sit-ups in 24 hours.

louburr · Post by **louburr** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 10:41 pm

http://jessicasharratt.blogspot.com

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 10:44 pm

louburr wrote:
http://jessicasharratt.blogspot.com

Louburr is an eminence of the P&B and he knows what's what.

wtfmate · Post by **wtfmate** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 11:03 pm

louburr wrote:
http://jessicasharratt.blogspot.com

I hope she cracks that pink watch doing an incorrect KB snatch.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 11:09 pm

Jezebel Jones wrote:
I'm much taller, with much bigger tits. And I don't do OLY or nutfit.

JK. would you say you used to be good at Sex before you switched brands? What would your ex say?

IGX

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