The couch thread

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:55 am

Shafman wrote:Nigga pleez. This is IGx. It doesn't matter what the arrow's pointing at.

That's right!

Steggy · Post by **Steggy** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:28 am

Interesting post WGM, people showing the typical CF form while lifting.

friedquads · Post by **friedquads** » Sun Jun 26, 2011 2:11 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:In that case J3 you might find this interesting.

http://daily.gay.com/lifestyle/2010/05/ ... ssfit.html

Damn, too bad that old @F board thread about gay @fitters was tossed into the pukie bucket a couple of years ago with a few of the other good threads. That would have given the author something to think about while he was writing that thing up.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Sun Jun 26, 2011 2:42 pm

friedquads wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:In that case J3 you might find this interesting.

http://daily.gay.com/lifestyle/2010/05/ ... ssfit.html
Damn, too bad that old @F board thread about gay @fitters was tossed into the pukie bucket a couple of years ago with a few of the other good threads. That would have given the author something to think about while he was writing that thing up.

I wonder how the author of that article will feel when he finds out that "gay" is a censored word on the @F forums...
http://board.crossfit.com/archive/index ... 39858.html

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Sun Jun 26, 2011 4:39 pm

Captain Quack wrote: I wonder how the author of that article will feel when he finds out that "gay" is a censored word on the @F forums...
http://board.crossfit.com/archive/index ... 39858.html

Which is hilariously ironic, considering the proclivities of it's infamous admin.

Gary John · Post by **Gary John** » Sun Jun 26, 2011 4:45 pm

Carpet munching isn't gay.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Sun Jun 26, 2011 4:46 pm

By the way, I see that our old friend CJ Kim could not help but leave a comment on that gay.com article about @fit.

Which reminds me:

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 12:29 am

Anyone who posts on the @fit boards is as fucking stupid as it gets, no matter what side they are on.

theoverman · Post by **theoverman** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 7:14 pm

im gonna cruise my local boxes for chicks on some saturday mornings when i'm not busy. we have 3 or 4 of them. not sure what my angle is, "the tentative neophyte" i guess. most of these places have free saturday classes, i'm guessing with pvc.

looking for the next anyc...

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 7:27 pm

I don't have time for arguing about @F anymore. It's stupid. It causes injuries. It's not good for sports preparation. That's all.

Yes, I'm drunk · Post by **Yes, I'm drunk** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:35 pm

Shafman wrote:I don't have time for arguing about @F anymore. It's stupid. It causes injuries. It's not good for sports preparation. That's all.

The truth. And it only took 1012 pages and 25284 posts to get there.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:43 pm

No, the fight needs to be carried on. The stupidity is rampant and there have been more cases of exercise induced rhabdomylosis in the last 5 years than there has in the last 5 decades before that.

All @F's fault.

Elk · Post by **Elk** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 1:08 am

Shafman wrote:All @F's fault.

C'mon, man. No one is putting a gun to the heads of these leader-needing weak minded cultist pussies. They volunteer for unkie rhabdo (and bleeding palms and so on) so they can fit in somewhere, anywhere. I understand what you're saying, but you have to acknowledge that these sheeple have a need to be told what to think. They are inbred socialists in a sense.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:16 am

I feel no pity for their injuries or their overtraining whatsoever.

Its even less pity for those that actually know better who program and do this shit. The @fit herd of sheep aren't to be hated, they just don't know any better and coming from the "chest and tris" type of workout to @fit is a huge kick in the ass for many and they initially feel better doing it, so can you really blame them for flying the koolaid flag high at times?

The ones who should be tarred and feathered is the people who were once reputable athletes or actually went to college to pursue a strength and conditioning field and ended up owning a "box" where every workout is a race to get a PR.

As for that gay.com article... for all the shirt-ripping workout prep I am surprised an article like that hasn't been done much earlier... but who am I kidding, @fit.com is so damn right wing they shit NRA life memberships. I mean @fit is the epitome of right wing masculinity. Nothing screams manliness like 175# men built like Hollister models taking their shirts off and cheering each other on like its a bathhouse orgy. Plus being that a large amount of the early @fit female superstars are more andro'd than most men really puts the pop in their weasel.

Elk · Post by **Elk** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:26 am

Jay wrote:The @fit herd of sheep aren't to be hated, they just don't know any better.

Bullshit. Not knowing any better is an apologist excuse. A clear thinking individual will find his own path, a sheep will mindlessly follow the path of someone who will think for him.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 1:22 pm

This is so sad. Not only does this @Fer-created event play the pseudo-military PLUS pseudo-pro-football card via their name--"Civilian Military Combine"--but they are so retarded in their definition of what strength means that this is what qualifies for the "strength" portion of their event:
http://www.civilianmilitarycombine.com/ ... gth-event/

2. Each station will consist of 4 strength elements:
• Thruster
• Burpee
• Box Jumps
• Kettlebell Swing
[...]
5. Each strength element will be 1min 30sec in duration followed by a 30 sec rest and rotation period to the next element.

Avoiding 1RMs like the plague...go @F!

Course designed by obvious experts on strempf:

This race structure has been carefully created, refined and reviewed by the top strength and conditioning coaches from the Cross Fit community, United States Armed Forces and USA Triathlon Organization Race Directors.

They should watch this video and sub in their favorite weenie exercise practices for the gym monitor and security guard:

ThespianDouche · Post by **ThespianDouche** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:35 pm

Captain Quack wrote:5. Each strength element will be 1min 30sec in duration

Just writing that down should make someone (who is not a fucktard) think "You know, maybe 90 seconds is bit long to be considered strength".

Fuck. As much as I like to bang CF chicks, this is getting to be too much.

The Nightman · Post by **The Nightman** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 3:51 pm

Captain Quack wrote: 5. Each strength element will be 1min 30sec in duration followed by a 30 sec rest

1'30" strength event?

The Ginger Beard Man · Tue Jun 28, 2011 4:38 pm

The Nightman wrote:
Captain Quack wrote: 5. Each strength element will be 1min 30sec in duration followed by a 30 sec rest
1'30" strength event?

And the Gaymes are a "lifting sport".

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 4:43 pm

Come on, guys. YOu're being a little harsh. You have to remember that "fitness" is an inverse, 6 dimensional cube that once rotated on its axis, approximates the 8 modal domains of longevity and strength.

lesser_rebelangel · Post by **lesser_rebelangel** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 5:34 pm

Captain Quack wrote:This is so sad. Not only does this @Fer-created event play the pseudo-military PLUS pseudo-pro-football card via their name--"Civilian Military Combine"--but they are so retarded in their definition of what strength means that this is what qualifies for the "strength" portion of their event:
http://www.civilianmilitarycombine.com/ ... gth-event/
2. Each station will consist of 4 strength elements:
• Thruster
• Burpee
• Box Jumps
• Kettlebell Swing
[...]
5. Each strength element will be 1min 30sec in duration followed by a 30 sec rest and rotation period to the next element.

Jesus titty-fucking Christ...

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 5:57 pm

The Nightman wrote:
Captain Quack wrote: 5. Each strength element will be 1min 30sec in duration followed by a 30 sec rest
1'30" strength event?

Not just one, but four 1'30" strength events in a row! (with 30 seconds rest between each to refill severely depleted anaerobic energy stores, of coarse)

Maybe @Fers consider their 400m runs and 500m rows strength events too.

Somebody needs to re-read their 10 domains of fitness definitions and concentrate weally, weally hawd on the parts about endurance and stamina...and their favorite little (tiny) piece of real exercise science that they use at the $1000 t-shirt giveaways (err, Level 1s):

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Fri Jul 01, 2011 4:25 am

Takes one to know one?
http://crossfitoneworld.typepad.com/cro ... liche.html

ARE YOU CROSSFIT CLICHE?

A day in the life of a member at CrossFit Cliche......

I got up this morning and ate my PALEO breakfast of eggs, avocado, spinach and 12 FISH OIL caps. It was delicious and just the fuel I needed to attack my WOD later in the day like the FIREBREATHER that I am. Good sound nutrition advice from ROBB WOLF.

But before WODDING at my BOX, CrossFit Cliche, I went on a shopping trip and bought some new VIBRAM FIVE FINGERS!!! Now I can do the POSE METHOD of running more efficiently. If I am on a CAVEMAN DIET, I might as well RUN LIKE A CAVEMAN too. I am just bummed I won't get to wear my KNEE HIGH SOCKS when I wear my FIVE FINGERS. I guess there will be days when I still wear my INOV8's.

So I hit up the gym and ROLLED OUT ON THE FOAM ROLLER as part of my warm-up routine that I do everyday before I WOD. I also did a bunch of warm-up drills that got my sweat on. After all, MY WARM-UP IS YOUR WORKOUT. Since CrossFit Cliche is STRENGTH BIASED, I also did a 5x3 HEAVY DEADLIFT at 275#! My workout was awesome. It was a CHIPPER with 400m runs, KIPPING pull-ups, KIPPING handstand push-ups, GROUND TO OVERHEAD CLEAN AND JERKS, and LATERAL JUMP BURPEES, all to CROSSFIT GAMES STANDARDS of course! I RIPPED MY SHIRT OFF and went BEAST MODE on the WOD like the true WARRIOR that I am.

Obviously, my workout hit most of the TEN GENERAL SKILLS OF FITNESS. The workout left me exausted and FLOPPING AROUND ON THE FLOOR in pool of my own sweat. I was sure to make some SWEAT ANGELS and checked that my friend got plenty of PICTURES OF ME WODDING and looking wrecked afterward. I obviously INCREASED MY WORK CAPACITY ACROSS BROAD TIME AND MODAL DOMAINS.

After I WROTE MY TIME ON THE WHITEBOARD and let everyone know that I did it AS PRESCRIBED by writing RX’D next to my time, I drank my PROGENEX POST-WORKOUT SHAKE with some POST WORKOUT CARB LOADING of MASHED SWEET POTATOES.

Later that night, I put on my SKINS RECOVERY TIGHTS and drank a PROGENEX RECOVERY SHAKE and 12 more FISH OIL caps. Tomorrow, I will be ready to kill the WOD again. I'm really looking forward to my REST DAY when I will also have a CHEAT DAY on my PALEO DIET, which will eventually lead to me POSTING ON FACEBOOK ABOUT HOW GUILTY I AM ABOUT MY CHEAT DAY. Which in turn will lead to me POSTING ON FACEBOOK ABOUT MY KILLER POST CHEAT DAY WOD. All my fellow CrossFit Cliche friends will then comment about how fucking badass I am.

I AM ELITE.

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Fri Jul 01, 2011 4:37 am

Freddie is becoming a joke. He talks shit on @fit one day and kisses hq's ass the next.

At least Welbourn keeps his mouth shut and collects his many thousands of green peoples from history times.

Crust Bucket · Post by **Crust Bucket** » Fri Jul 01, 2011 5:07 am

I know one guy that didn't get picked for kickball while in school.

IGX

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