The couch thread

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friedquads
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Re: The couch thread

Post by friedquads »

WildGorillaMan wrote:More to your liking perhaps?
Image
Ook!!!! :heart:
Jay wrote:BTW, warriors kill shit. The only things you kill are exercise science and the board short display at Target.
I choose to kill people with kindness. Oh, I should also mention "kindness" is the name of my samurai sword.

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Cave Canem
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Cave Canem »

Unless you've got family or friends in the gaymes, it is just not an interesting spectator event. Boring content with little drama. Comparisons to the X Games are bogus because at least they have spectacular aerials and huge crash potential. Tried to stay interested after my neighbor was eliminated but.....
Don't see how they can expect this to expand beyond their little niche market of Kool Aid drinkers and @fit haters.
Tantum validus superstes

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Holland Oates
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Holland Oates »

42 guests?

Hey faggots did you enjoy your weekend?
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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

Damn it if a small dose doesn't do wonders for performance.

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Cave Canem
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Cave Canem »

Gonna go downstairs and ride the exercise bike while I watch TV. Guess I'm a @fitter again.
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Songjabong
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Songjabong »

Cave Canem wrote:Unless you've got family or friends in the gaymes, it is just not an interesting spectator event. Boring content with little drama. Comparisons to the X Games are bogus because at least they have spectacular aerials and huge crash potential. Tried to stay interested after my neighbor was eliminated but.....
Don't see how they can expect this to expand beyond their little niche market of Kool Aid drinkers and @fit haters.
this. and they can't even generate any drama with how they set it up either.

i just tried to watch the "finale" but what a clusterfuck. you'd think they'd at least set it up so you know who needs to do what to win at the end. multiple heats, three scoring "events" in the final, fuck, i'm guessing even the competitors had no clue who won even after the event was over.

what a fantastic reminder the whole weekend was of the retardation of their programming. from ocean swims to softball throws to monkey bars, to exercise bikes. they have a lot to learn from american gladiators.
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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Cave Canem wrote:Gonna go downstairs and ride the exercise bike while I watch TV. Guess I'm a @fitter again.
I was swinging from the monkey bars with my kids today. I'm definitely one now.
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Cave Canem
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Cave Canem »

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Cave Canem wrote:Gonna go downstairs and ride the exercise bike while I watch TV. Guess I'm a @fitter again.
I was swinging from the monkey bars with my kids today. I'm definitely one now.
Yeah, but how far can you throw a softball ?
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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Cave Canem wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:
Cave Canem wrote:Gonna go downstairs and ride the exercise bike while I watch TV. Guess I'm a @fitter again.
I was swinging from the monkey bars with my kids today. I'm definitely one now.
Yeah, but how far can you throw a softball ?
Farther than most of those nancies.

Funny you should mention that, I was just about to cross-post that "Yeah, but how far can he/she throw a softball?" is the new "Yeah but what's his/her Fran time?"
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Jay
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Jay »

I logged into facebook to check email and I see from the plethora of wall posts that Iceland Annie and Froning win. I am 100% positive the HQ propaganda machine will be much louder than when Clever won last year.

And I love the half-empty stadium pics.... fucking elite

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Did anyone else notice the triumphant return of Couch?

http://twitter.com/#!/IAmCouch
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Jay
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Jay »

WildGorillaMan wrote:Did anyone else notice the triumphant return of Couch?

http://twitter.com/#!/IAmCouch
No

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Hymen Asshole
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Hymen Asshole »

Image

Is it a Reebok requirement for the guys to wear bikinis during the gaymes?

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Re: The couch thread

Post by Cave Canem »

Hymen Asshole wrote:Image

Is it a Reebok requirement for the guys to wear bikinis during the gaymes?
Only the ones with small dicks.
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Cave Canem »

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Cave Canem wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:
Cave Canem wrote:Gonna go downstairs and ride the exercise bike while I watch TV. Guess I'm a @fitter again.
I was swinging from the monkey bars with my kids today. I'm definitely one now.
Yeah, but how far can you throw a softball ?
Farther than most of those nancies.

Funny you should mention that, I was just about to cross-post that "Yeah, but how far can he/she throw a softball?" is the new "Yeah but what's his/her Fran time?"
You know what they say about great minds....
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Cave Canem
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Cave Canem »

WildGorillaMan wrote:Did anyone else notice the triumphant return of Couch?

http://twitter.com/#!/IAmCouch
Was the real Couch anywhere to be seen at all ?
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Jay
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Jay »

Cave Canem wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:Did anyone else notice the triumphant return of Couch?

http://twitter.com/#!/IAmCouch
Was the real Couch anywhere to be seen at all ?
As long as it wasn't Happy Hour somewhere, yes.

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Jay
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Jay »

Someone tell Daigle that his constant supply of metaphors and pop culture references are old and passe. Dennis Miller had the intelligence to pull it off, he just sounds like a geek that spent too much time watching movies in his formative years and not playing real sports... which is probably why he flocks to @fit now.

http://games.crossfit.com/features/dunk ... and-tossed

He's like, cool, mechanical bull riding dude... it may give you some input to winning next year's gaymes. No, fuckface, its something you do when you are at the bar with your peeps and drinking your face off. A modal domain doesn't work here.


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Re: The couch thread

Post by Mountebank »

The clusterfuck that these gaymes will throw into affiliate programming will be so awesome.

Softball throwing.

Exercise bikes.

Open-ocean swims.

Beach sand runs.

I personally think that the globo-gym cardio machine infection that will spread through R@@bok's new franchise--er, @F boxes--was evidenced by the use of stationary bikes and rowers.

The amount of wrist injuries from all the boxes that will start emphasizing handstand walks will be crazy.

@F as a TV event is unwatchable to anyone but Kool-Aid drinkers, this isn't going to make it to ESPN2 other than *maybe* in a highlight reel or some equivalent. There's simply no way of following where anyone is in the event, and having heats made it even worse.

Jay, Daigle's even more obsessed with making jokes about genitalia than even TC Luoma, which means he's about as bad as they come.

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Re: The couch thread

Post by Songjabong »

Captain Quack wrote: There's simply no way of following where anyone is in the event, and having heats made it even worse.
I know I was belittling the conspiracy theories, but I can't help but wonder if they made every event's "scoring" hide their actual physical abilities. Looking at the scores, there's no way of discerning how much anyone actually snatched, or how quickly they ran, or or even the distance of their "softball toss" for God's sake. All you know is their score relative to others in a particular event.

Every year's games further confirms what a sham the whole thing is. If it were truly a cutting-edge "athletic" training system, their events would demonstrate their ability at quantifiable events. How about a mile run? How about a 1rm in a normal lift? A mini-triathlon? a 400m sprint? a long-jump?

Why isn't the final event a fucking obstacle course, staggered by their lead? Again, american gladiator could teach these guys a thing or two about drama.
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Freki
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Freki »

WildGorillaMan wrote:Did anyone else notice the triumphant return of Couch?

http://twitter.com/#!/IAmCouch
No, but I thank you for this gem from that feed:

The NFL has the combine, Crossfit has the after parties. This is where I anoint the future stars. Now, who has daddy issues?
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Anon »

DIE? I don't get it?

THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE
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lesser_rebelangel
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Re: The couch thread

Post by lesser_rebelangel »

How awkward do you think it was this morning when Dave Castro woke up with a mouthful of Lynne Pitts' jizz? I imagine Budding is one of those guys that gets off on wearing diapers and being treated like a baby (Castro probably offered to breastfeed him with those giant moobs of his). And shit, Glassman probably can't even get it up anymore, at this stage in his alcoholism, so he probably just fucks teh wimminz w/Saran's dick (imagine Saran pantomiming Glassman's words to Lugo!!!!!!!!!!!!)

At any rate, I wonder how they found the time to hack the site between all of the festivities?
"It stinks like sex in here."

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

lesser_rebelangel wrote: At any rate, I wonder how they found the time to hack the site between all of the festivities?
Get real, they couldn't even keep the livestream running smoothly all weekend, and the official apparatchiks Tweeted with embarrassing infrequency. You really think they have the IT true knowledges to hit IGx?

Rant's just off his medz again.
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lesser_rebelangel
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Re: The couch thread

Post by lesser_rebelangel »

And you know what, guys and gals? It doesn't change the fact that no one gives a fuck about your Fittest Man & Woman title except, of course, for the other faggots in your peer group, or the fact that every serious athlete in the world laughs at what you do and will never take you seriously. Irongarm will get cleaned up shortly, but at the end of the day, you will still be the laughable kings and queens of exercising when it's said and done--perhaps the cognitive dissonance will finally get to some of your followers, and they'll finally wise the fuck up after months, maybe years, of injuries, eating disorders and "progress" that proceeds in fits and starts, with long miserable stretches of aimless sweating, puking and pain with little to show for it. The fact of the matter is that after six months of Xfagging, the average man turns into an emaciated fuck, stalls out or regresses, while the average woman gets transiently bigger and more muscular than any of the men, and shortly thereafter follows suit, becoming overtrained as fuck and spinning her wheels. It's only a matter of time until, legs tucked between their legs, they reach out to someone more knowledgeable, like members of this board, to teach them how to fix all the fucking dumb shit they've done to themselves via their "exercise addiction."
"It stinks like sex in here."

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