The couch thread

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Thu Jan 12, 2012 7:42 pm

Oh, I forgot. He does have some achievements: he reportedly has done workouts so intense, so hush-hush, so secret, so tactical, that he cannot publicize them for fear that someone will try them and injure themselves. I'm not sure how that is different than every other Crossfit workout, but....

SubClaw · Post by **SubClaw** » Thu Jan 12, 2012 7:54 pm

I actually envy Glassman:

- He is worshipped like an ancient god.

- He is making a fuckload of money.

- He is getting more pussy than a thousand cocks could fuck.

- He is partying like there was no tomorrow.

- And he is laughing at all of us and our little invectives.

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Thu Jan 12, 2012 8:42 pm

SubClaw wrote:I actually envy Glassman:

- He is worshipped like an ancient god.

- He is making a fuckload of money.

- He is getting more pussy than a thousand cocks could fuck.

- He is partying like there was no tomorrow.

- And he is laughing at all of us and our little invectives.

Indeed. We've admitted, almost to a man, that we'd gladly sit down for a few pints with Couch. Otis can't cobble together a coherent paragraph, but the man prints money.

Props on the avatar. I assume that most cats are homosexual, but yours looks cool. Did he bite the shit out of you, or did you train him to soft-mouth like a retriever?

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Thu Jan 12, 2012 9:05 pm

Oh, I forgot. He does have some achievements: he reportedly has done workouts so intense, so hush-hush, so secret, so tactical, that he cannot publicize them for fear that someone will try them and injure themselves. I'm not sure how that is different than every other Crossfit workout, but...

No, proto, this was JOHN DAVIES THE RENEGADE TRAINER whom had such EXTREME WORKOUTS THAT HE COULDN'T BEAR TO REVEAL THEM TO THE WORLD AND HURT PEOPLE.

The you saw his "Skywalker's Blues" review on DragonDoor, I think:

"bunch of old, skinny fat skaters jumping around and giving each other high fives"

kreator · Post by **kreator** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:44 am

Ya'll better beware! The Sport of Fitness has arrived, in a nice convenient mass-produced package.

SubClaw · Post by **SubClaw** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:59 am

Gin Master wrote:Props on the avatar. I assume that most cats are homosexual, but yours looks cool. Did he bite the shit out of you, or did you train him to soft-mouth like a retriever?

He's a mean motherfucker with strange mood swings. Sometimes I think he is kind of bipolar.

Maybe I should have called him Rant.

Protobuilder · Post by **Protobuilder** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 8:24 am

protobuilder wrote:
Frogster wrote:Serious question, what are Glassman athletic achievements? a quick recap would be much appreciated.
Quick Recap: none

He would be fairly decent in a drinking contest for such a small guy, I imagine.

Alfred_E._Neuman · Post by **Alfred_E._Neuman** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 10:07 am

kreator wrote:Ya'll better beware! The Sport of Fitness has arrived, in a nice convenient mass-produced package.

Oh god damn.

Reminds me of the villains executing their well coordinated attack in any Bruckheimer movie.

Cave Canem · Post by **Cave Canem** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 3:11 pm

Anyone want to start a pool to see when the first tattoo of that "Delta" logo shows up on one of the cultists ?

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:18 pm

I thought this was too fitting for @F, from a Gray Cook article:
http://functionalmovement.com/articles/ ... 3_function

We cannot prove this exercise will improve the way you move. It has not been shown to make you more functional. It has not been proven to create better performance or metabolism. It is simply the result of your trainer’s creativity and a surplus of time and equipment. It is an unscientific attempt to reduce your boredom with your current training program. This combination of equipment and movement is a way to entertain you and will distract from the objective tangible results you may not be getting. Please do not try this at home—we have no way to charge you for it.

DrDonkeyLove · Post by **DrDonkeyLove** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 6:47 pm

kreator wrote:Ya'll better beware! The Sport of Fitness has arrived, in a nice convenient mass-produced package.

What hath Couch wrought!

powerlifter54 · Post by **powerlifter54** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 8:38 pm

In case you missed this baby squatter like dumbassity in the men's fashion thread, for your head scratch of the week...

Reebok never is appropriate either when front squating your kid or throwing them into a pool for a new modal domain

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 8:57 pm

DrDonkeyLove wrote:
kreator wrote:Ya'll better beware! The Sport of Fitness has arrived, in a nice convenient mass-produced package.

What hath Couch wrought!

The cracks are starting to show.

Any affliate owners worried that Reebok is going to come in and put a big bad ass box in next door to your box? They say they want to have 150 Reebok CrossFit boxes by the end of 2012. Is CrossFit going to do anything to protect us lil guys? I pay my 2k a year, signed a 3yr lease and have 9 and close to 100 members to take care of. I'd hate to lose what we have built cause the Reebok Giant with all their $'s come in and take over.

2012 will be the year of the affiliate revolt when they all realize just how badly HQBok is going to fuck them. Couch doesn't care. "I already got yo money!"

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:13 pm

The cream will rise to the top!

The Ginger Beard Man · Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:56 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:
DrDonkeyLove wrote:
kreator wrote:Ya'll better beware! The Sport of Fitness has arrived, in a nice convenient mass-produced package.

What hath Couch wrought!
The cracks are starting to show.

Any affliate owners worried that Reebok is going to come in and put a big bad ass box in next door to your box? They say they want to have 150 Reebok CrossFit boxes by the end of 2012. Is CrossFit going to do anything to protect us lil guys? I pay my 2k a year, signed a 3yr lease and have 9 and close to 100 members to take care of. I'd hate to lose what we have built cause the Reebok Giant with all their $'s come in and take over.
Couch strikes me as the type of guy who has trouble holding on to money. If he loses the cultists, he'll be broke in no time.

2012 will be the year of the affiliate revolt when they all realize just how badly HQBok is going to fuck them. Couch doesn't care. "I already got yo money!"

Couch strikes me as the type of guy who can't hold on to money. If he loses the cultists, he'll be broke in no time.

The Crawdaddy · Post by **The Crawdaddy** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:26 am

protobuilder wrote:The turds will float!

Corrected for truth.

Brutal Bajan · Post by **Brutal Bajan** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:57 am

From now on, anytime some douche at the gym tells me they do Crossfit, I'm gonna say, "Oh, the Reebok thing? That's cool, I guess."

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 3:22 am

alright, I finally watched the video

I lol'd at the "the sport of fitness has arrived"

I thought when the doors opened, a flood of MRIs and X-rays would fly out

Alfred_E._Neuman · Post by **Alfred_E._Neuman** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:12 am

Sing along:
If you're stupid and you know it tear your hands

Comments are gold as well:
http://crossfitdecatur.com/blog/archives/17558#comments

Beer Jew · Post by **Beer Jew** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:18 am

Is it 2009 again?

The only time I've torn my hands I had 140kg in them, 74 times.

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:21 am

The last time I tore mine was a set of 10 clapping pull ups at 240 pounds of bodyweight. That was a long time ago.

sanchezero · Post by **sanchezero** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 2:29 am

Beer Jew wrote:Is it 2009 again?

The only time I've torn my hands I had 140kg in them, 74 times.

that's a lot of kipping pullups for such a fat fuck.

RudyK · Post by **RudyK** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 3:51 am

In regards to Couch's accomplishments

=

...

Not intellectually but pretty much both are worthless physically.

SubClaw · Post by **SubClaw** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:41 pm

From Lascek's blog:

Also, I don’t have confirmation on this, but apparently Allison Bishop (AllisonNYC for you CF vets) has allegedly committed to doing a max effort clean and jerk in a bikini if Donny Shankle gets to his fundraising goal

I'd totally do a max effort jerk watching that.

Jonny Canuck · Post by **Jonny Canuck** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 7:00 am

While we were all watching football there was another overpriced, unorganized @fit competition. Check out the facebook page for the OC Throwdown https://www.facebook.com/pages/OC-Throw ... 7733136609 and how all the spectators and athletes were complaining about it being a complete shit show. The standard bullshit cult members are also on the board trying to defend the complete amateurism that is to be expected at a @fit event.

IGX

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