Talking to the babysitter

nafod · Post by **nafod** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 5:54 pm

This made me laugh, from Deadspin...

Is there anything more awkward than, as a husband and father, driving the babysitter home? Personally I blame porn movies and the Penthouse Forum for soiling an innocent act. Other than letting the missus drive the sitter home (and good luck trying to explain to your wife why it's a weird experience), is there any way to make that drive less awful?

Nope. I can't even GREET a babysitter without it being awkward and horrible. We had one come the other week, and I tried to be very casual and be like, Here is the remote, and here are the emergency numbers and stuff, and my wife was like, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you acting so weird?" And I was like, "I'm NOT!" even though I probably was. You want to seem nice, but not creepy. You want to sound old, but not WEIRD old. Meanwhile, all the babysitter wants is for you to fucking leave so she can check her phone. I'm basically banned from talking to babysitters now. I just go upstairs and take a shit while everyone is debriefed.

johno · Post by **johno** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 5:56 pm

Shape?

Batboy2/75 · Post by **Batboy2/75** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:13 pm

I still don't believe Shape's story. I believe there is much much more to the story. With his camping habits, I'm sure he did more than spoon up next to her. There is probably a therapist out there some where that thanks shape every day for the years and years of therapy he or she will be billing!

The Crawdaddy · Post by **The Crawdaddy** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 11:23 pm

You could always go the creepy route....

j-cubed · Post by **j-cubed** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:26 am

I hear you.

I went on a cruise last month, and before hand signed up for some tanning so I wouldn't fry on the cruise.
One evening I walk into the tanning place, and just the part time smoking hot 20 something check in girl was there, she was vacuuming the floor, so cranked the music even louder and had her ass pointed at the door and didn't hear me come in.

There is really no way to not look creepy in that situation, as you stand there waiting. Do you stand and wait, make a loud noise and scare the crap out of her or what? I just went back outside and looked at my phone for a minute then went back in.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 3:29 am

So, some of the barn girls were doing the ice bucket challenge at the barn, their mom was walking by and asked me and my wife to come watch. Well, it was basically a wet t shirt contest situation, and I had to turn away and not watch 3 16 and 17 year olds scream and jump around in clothing that clung to their nubile bodies. I heard the mom say "Well, I should have thought THAT would happen".

A bit awkward, but I avoided the creepiness factor.

Protobuilder · Post by **Protobuilder** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 4:00 am

"I'm going to get a massage" is something that I wish I could say and not have it sound creepy, at least in my twisted imagination.

DrDonkeyLove · Post by **DrDonkeyLove** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 4:20 am

Shape,

You have at least one babysitter story to share with the newbies. Don't be shy, no judgement here.

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 4:26 am

Batboy2/75 wrote:I still don't believe Shape's story. I believe there is much much more to the story.

Deadspin's editors did a Shape story no favors. I kind of feel for the newbies who have no idea why OG IGxers immediately thought of Shapebaby when we saw the title.

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 5:17 am

Nafod what's the link you fuck.

nafod · Post by **nafod** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:52 am

Ed Zachary wrote:Nafod what's the link you fuck.

Here's the fuckity fucking link, my friend. Some generally funny shit.

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/which- ... 1623801414

Herv100 · Post by **Herv100** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 12:08 pm

Training hot, rich high school girls in yoga pants and booty shorts presents similar challenges

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 12:51 pm

Then there was the time I meant to text Mrs Gorilla and texted our 17 year old babysitter by mistake.

Pinky · Post by **Pinky** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:55 pm

The problem is not that talking to a babysitter is inherently awkward, but that teenage girls are impossible to talk to.

Mickey O'neil · Post by **Mickey O'neil** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 9:07 pm

Pinky wrote:The problem is not that talking to a babysitter is inherently awkward, but that teenage girls are impossible to talk to.

Crust Bucket · Post by **Crust Bucket** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 9:11 pm

Where is our resident expert on this?
Shape you're not crying crocodile tears in your pillow because Glee turned into shit and SOA will be finished in December are you?

C'mon we're all waiting to hear what you have to say on this matter brother, chime in already!

Shapecharge · Post by **Shapecharge** » Fri Aug 22, 2014 5:05 am

Broheims I've been on a little vacation for a few days and my a/c is acting up. I told a very personal heartwarming story about a babysitting incident some years ago and now you're making it dirty. This isn't what IGx is about.

Kenny X · Post by **Kenny X** » Fri Aug 22, 2014 10:34 am

Even though I don't have kids, I can grok this.

You've always been "an average dude." A little awkward around the ladies, and sometimes yeah, you wonder how a great woman like your wife ever gave you the time of day in the first place. Your favorite football team hasn't won a Super Bowl in decades, and you're lacking in self-confidence...

And then one day you discover HERR DOKTOR'S LEGIT DICK STEROIDS, and it's a total game-changer. It's hard *not* to be aggressive toward any member of the opposite sex under any circumstances, after a month or two on my peptides...

It's difficult to "act casual" and talk normal" to a baby sitter or an au pair when your fly is unzipped and you're compulsively wagging your massive, vascular, throbbing, chemically-enhanced gorilla-arm of tallywhacker at her.

The wifey is bound to notice and give you the stink eye.

But you keep right on with it, brother.

milosz · Post by **milosz** » Fri Aug 22, 2014 4:26 pm

My ex was 21 and still babysat every now and then for extra cash, I'm kind of sad that I never got a blowjob while she was working.

OTOH, I used those babysitting nights to go get drunk with my friends as a free man so I guess I didn't exactly put in the work to make it happen.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Sat Aug 23, 2014 5:50 pm

No smart dad drives a babysitter home alone. Not in this day and age.

seeahill · Post by **seeahill** » Sat Aug 23, 2014 10:46 pm

Pinky wrote:

Pinky wrote:The problem is not that talking to a babysitter is inherently awkward, but that teenage girls are impossible to talk to.

OK, Shape's babysitter was a boy. I'll let him tell the rest.

Shapecharge · Post by **Shapecharge** » Sun Aug 24, 2014 6:45 pm

Tim, don't corrupt such a story of unrequited love.

JamesonBushmill · Post by **JamesonBushmill** » Sun Aug 24, 2014 7:24 pm

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:So, some of the barn girls were doing the ice bucket challenge at the barn, their mom was walking by and asked me and my wife to come watch. Well, it was basically a wet t shirt contest situation, and I had to turn away and not watch 3 16 and 17 year olds scream and jump around in clothing that clung to their nubile bodies. I heard the mom say "Well, I should have thought THAT would happen".

A bit awkward, but I avoided the creepiness factor.

did they film this for youtube and do you have the link? asking for research purposes only.

Grandpa's Spells · Post by **Grandpa's Spells** » Sun Aug 24, 2014 10:04 pm

T>1200 wrote:No smart dad drives a babysitter home alone. Not in this day and age.

Is this really true?

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Sun Aug 24, 2014 11:58 pm

Grandpa's Spells wrote:
T>1200 wrote:No smart dad drives a babysitter home alone. Not in this day and age.
Is this really true?

They tend to think that Proto's request to change his diaper is a little creepy.

IGX

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