I don't remember it being very time consuming when I did it with my girl friend. It's been years since my kids were in preschool so I can only conjecture why you might think more ladies should learn to like it in the ass. I could ask for a clarification just what part of the anatomy is supposed to be inserted but since this IGX and everyone including the few ladies who post here is a tough guy with the exception of yours truly I know the answer. I had my head smashed on the sea bottom twice and one time in about two feet of water while surfing and also took a surfboard to the face and a former Israeli army medic friend from Philly superglued my cheek twice to stop the bleeding and I still surf but none of that counts towards IGX tough guyhoodness. I laughed off the bleeding and told a teenager on the beach, "It's nothing. Live long enough and you won't believe what you get hit with" and I told him what one of my teachers said, "You have to learn to hang on to Above. And if you don't know what that's like then ride the New York subway and hold the strap hanging from the ceiling."If you think butt stuff is "time consuming," you should spend three months volunteering in a Pre-K after school program to get a feel for why more ladies should learn to like it in the ass.
A surfboard to the face is nothing. It's not like a bullet to the gut. The grocery store owner showed me his scar yesterday from a war wound where he was shot in the stomach. Kaz and the other antisemites can stop reading right now because this will only offend your theological sensibilities. Free speech is not for pussies but you could try and mount a virtual pogrom and kill me off in cyberspace or infect my computer or get my posting privileges taken away. If you get upset you have been duly warned.
I had asked the grocery store owner how he was and he said ברןך השם (Baruch Hashem literally Blessed be the Name (of the Holy One). Colloquially it means Thank God. I replied "Anyone who can say Baruch Hashem should say Baruch Hashem he can say Baruch Hashem" He said, "You always have to say Baruch Hashem for everything." I told him I couldn't say that about my daughter's cancer. He said you have to say it for everything and then lifted up his shirt and showed me his scar. I replied, "If you can say Baruch Hashem for your kid in the cancer ward you're a צדיק for which there's no good English translation since all these theological terms in Hebrew get translated into an English with Christian notions and is not at all what the words mean. Let's just say anyone who can really thank God for all the pain that he or she and their loved ones and the good people in the world suffer is either completely delusional or some kind of saintly being who sees through it all and/or knows it's all for the good. I could use the word אמונה which gets translated as faith which is a terrible translation because of the Christian connotations. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the Christian notion of faith but the Jewish notion of that Hebrew word is very different. If you ask your local rabbi you're liable to get a translation of that word as faith but that's not what it is on a deeper level and since too many rabbis are in it for the money and haven't studied all that much they don't know either.
There were 19th century Jewish mystical leaders like Reb Schneor Zalman of Liadi and Reb Levi Yitzhak of Berditchev who said they wouldn't change anything about the way God relates to the world and they both suffered enormously. They had an אמונה that was off the charts or maybe they were insane. I'm sure they would be carted off to mental hospitals today. Reb Schneor Zalman was imprisoned by the Russian government twice under brutal conditions and then actually supported the czar against Napoleon because he thought as bad as the czar was for the Jews ultimately it would be better than the kind of freedom Napoleon was granting them that would destroy their spirituality.
It says in Hosea (9:7)
which I would translate as "Insane is the person (infused) with the spirit (of God)מְשֻׁגָּע אִישׁ הָרוּחַ
but of course gets translated in one version
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt1309.htm
a man of spirit is mad but if that's all you got out of that verse you wasted your time. The nuances and definition of those three words in Hebrew can be debated for a very long time and have over centuries. One of my teachers said if all you have is an English translation of Tanach throw it away because you're better off knowing nothing than the distortions and lies you'll find. Tanach meaning (Five Books of Moses, The Prophets and the Writings including the Psalms and other books which you can find here.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanakh#Ketuvim
Most English translations of the Bible are ridiculous. A lot of Hebrew words have multiple meanings. The whole idea of Judaeo Christian civilization is a complete fuckin lie. The Christians for better or worse jettisoned almost all of Jewish practice. Hall of fame football player Reggie White, Christian minister aka Minister of Defense, had a lot of questions about Christianity and how it had changed from its Jewish roots and why.
what Reggie White believed and said began to change after retiring in 2000. Ever an insatiable learner, he began to question what exactly his Bible was teaching him, how it was written and where it came from.
So he poured himself into learning not just Hebrew, but how Hebrew was spoken at the time of Christ. He spent six, seven hours a day studying, and he studied so hard that he could eventually take the original Torah, which is what many believe is the original Word of God, and translate it for himself.
What he found changed everything. What he found, he believed, could change everything
He found, first off, (that the) King James (Bible) was taken out of context, a lot. A lot of words were added. A lot of words were subtracted.
"He found that in the Torah, in Hebrew, things that may have been taken literal shouldn't have been. Some things that were idioms at that time, today people don't understand those idioms because they were their time. Just like in 40 years, people aren't going to understand our idioms.
"(For example) 'I paid an arm and a leg for this shirt.' Guess what, in 40 years they are going to think I paid a literal arm and a literal leg for this shirt. What Reggie understood, and he taught us, is that you have to go back to the way they were living and understand their mindset."
Reggie meticulously translated each word and then put it in context. Sara says he found alarming inaccuracies. Some of it was lost in translations, Hebrew being translated into Greek and then being translated into another language. Some may have been just simple errors, the product of an era before moveable type.
Some were not so honest, Reggie White believed.
Each day brought new clarity, new opinions and more dismay that so much of what Reggie had once preached he no longer believed. He began to wonder if he had been used and lied to by ministers. He regretted using his fame to raise so much money for various churches he felt weren't true to God.
He felt, he told NFL Films just four days before dying, "prostituted."
"Reggie felt like the churches had become polluted because they were following man's tradition instead of God," Sara said. "We felt like early on, (the) idea (of churches) was right, but then later on it was polluted because now, instead of going with what God was saying, they added to The Word. They added their opinions rather than just reading.
"Now we have preachers preaching their opinion which distorts The Word. It should be (called) opinion churches, or motivational speakers. For our family and for many people who was studying the Torah with us, it created a sense of excitement because now the things we felt uncomfortable (about) in church wasn't our imagination. It was we should have been uncomfortable.
"We should have been uncomfortable with some idols, with some idol worshipping, with people bowing down to the pastor, people putting the pastor on a pedestal
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=dw-white020306
Did Reggie get to the depths of the Torah as one of my teachers called it? He didn't live long enough for that. Did he understand that it's impossible for us in this culture to understand what life was really like 2000 years ago? He didn't live long enough for that either. I learned a lot about Judaism by trying to live it and studying from people who I believed had an authentic transmission of the tradition like old Yemenite and Moroccan rabbis and the kind of Chasidic Jews who have held on to something of what it was like from the Baal Shem Tov. Maybe it all sounds like bullshit to some or most of you but it's like only having an AM radio in the good old days and trying to get an FM station. It's just not possible. Modern materialistic culture is completely tuned out to certain aspects of reality that other people are and were tuned into. Maybe I'm completely delusional also and maybe all these people are also. Ultimately I rejected religious Judaism as something I want to be part of but the Torah is a lot deeper than what most people even religious Jews and rabbis profess to live.
What I saw of those people from different cultures was that it was impossible to fully transmit their culture and connection to God and Torah to their children who grew up in Israel so there's no way Reggie White could have understood what how the Torah was really practiced and what life was like in ancient times. He did live long enough to see a lot of the dishonesty and lies which exists in all religions.
The early Christians were all orthodox Jews. Even Jesus in the New Testament said I have not come to change a jot or a tittle of the law according to the King James Version of the Bible.
http://biblehub.com/matthew/5-18.htm A jot or a tittle are the crowns over the Hebrew letters on a written Torah scroll.
There is a special type of lettering that is used to write the Torah, tefillin, and mezuzah. While the writing looks like a form of Hebrew block letters, certain letters are embellished with crowns, called tagin. The Ashkenazi and Sephardi calligraphic styles vary somewhat, but each group may use the other's Torah. Greater variations in lettering existed a few hundred years ago. Torah scrolls written by Hasidic groups had swirls in certain letters, with each letter said to convey a mystical meaning. Today, there is greater standardization among Torah scrolls
The notion that the rabbis of the Talmud were pedantic fools and only concerned with the letter of the law is another complete fucking lie. The Talmud was written in a code language that can't be deciphered through knowing Aramaic. There are phrases in the Talmud that indicate three or four concepts. There was a book written I have packed away in a box that claims there are a number of Jewish cultures that changed over the millenia. The early Christians were all orthodox Jews. Even Jesus in the New Testament said I have not come to change a jot or a tittle of the law according to the King James Version of the Bible.
http://biblehub.com/matthew/5-18.htm A jot or a tittle are the crowns over the Hebrew letters on a written Torah scroll. That version of the Bible makes Jesus more of an orthodox Jews than about 95% of the Jews in the world.
What does this have to do with the topic at hand - butt fucking? Slowly it's coming back to that. I walked out of the grocery store and said, "I'm a רשע גמור which colloquially means in english an evil motherfucker - not a bad motherfucker which was once a term of praise and maybe still is. motherfucker has no hebrew equivalent believe it or not. I have asked many people and no one can give me a translation. בן זונה (literally son of a whore) is the closest equivalent and would be translated into English as son of a bitch.
I'm pretty certain I know what anatomical part BD thinks should be inserted into the rectum of those ladies in the preschool who are probably a pain in the ass. Maybe that might teach them a lesson metaphorically speaking but in today's politically correct world it probably will do none of the sort.
For the few of you who got this far here's something from Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UO8sD81NVTg[/youtube]
[/quote]Kinky Friedman – Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed Lyrics
You uppity women I don't understand
Why you gotta go and try to act like a man,
But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink
You'd better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Early every morning you're out on the street
Passing out pamphlets to everyone you meet.
You gave up your Maiden Form for Lent
And now the front of your dress has an air scoop vent.
Every single brakeman that's ever come along
Had a little woman always tellin' him that he's wrong.
Eve said to Adam, "Here's an apple you horse"
And Delilah defoliated Samson's moss.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Mean-hearted harpies are breaking all the laws
Tearing up their girdles and a-burning up their bras,
Now the air is dirty and the sex is clean
And your coffee makes my hair turn green.
So damn emancipated in your mind and your body,
Gonna have to cancel all your lessons in karate.
If you can't love a male chauvinist
You'd better cross me off your shopping list.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
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