The couch thread

POD · Post by **POD** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:25 am

Maybe I've got it wrong as far as obese people and exercise goes. I'm open to other ideas, though I'd appreciate seeing those ideas backed up by scientific studies or the writings of reputable coaches if you expect me to consider them seriously. I've never seen a fattie who has a diet devoid of processed foods, sugars, and grease, gets ample sleep, is able to manage stress well, and has good flexibility and posture. So, I figure if those things are the easiest to fix, get them out of the way first. Once again, I'm open to other ideas, I just need to hear good reasoning.

This post seems to be related here.

Did anyone catch this? http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=43425

John Burch of Petranek Fitness wrote:Hey,

In response to all the questions that both Andy and I received after our short presentation at the affiliate gathering we've created a way to speak more directly with everyone. I'm availing myself to answer business questions, most having to do with our BIZ: Raise Your Game! Seminar but are open to fielding other questions pertaining business.

There are 2 ways to contact us:

Direct - 310.990.9148 - that's my personal cell number. This is for people who may not want to be on a conference call due to sensitive subjects.

or

Jump into a weekly call and listen in to other people who may have the same concerns.

These will be done EVERY TUESDAY at 11 AM PST... yes, Pacific Standard Time. There may be 10 people on the call or 20 or 3.

Conference Call
Conference Dial-in Number: (218) 339-4600
Participant Access Code: 681757#

Let me know if you have any questions or you can email me. [email protected].

Best,
John

Every time this guy posts, he's trying to sell people on attending a 5-day business seminar, run by Petranek Fitness (CrossFit LA). I believe it costs $2000, not counting the flight, the hotel, the meals, or the time lost at work (many affiliate owners run second jobs to pay the bills). There, they teach you wonderful business tactics such as these:

http://www.therealmalingering.com/2008/ ... ng-elitism
http://www.therealmalingering.com/2008/ ... ones-blood
http://www.therealmalingering.com/2008/ ... id-or-else

The keys to learning how to operate a real, certified doucheshack are just $2000 away!

Hamper · Post by **Hamper** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:22 am

Patrick Donnelly wrote:I've never seen a fattie who has a diet devoid of processed foods, sugars, and grease, gets ample sleep, is able to manage stress well, and has good flexibility and posture.

It's hard to find a skinny person that fits that bill too fucknut!

Grandpa's Spells · Post by **Grandpa's Spells** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:49 am

Hamper wrote:
Patrick Donnelly wrote:I've never seen a fattie who has a diet devoid of processed foods, sugars, and grease, gets ample sleep, is able to manage stress well, and has good flexibility and posture.
It's hard to find a skinny person that fits that bill too fucknut!

=D> =D> =D>

POD · Post by **POD** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:59 am

Hamper wrote:
Patrick Donnelly wrote:I've never seen a fattie who has a diet devoid of processed foods, sugars, and grease, gets ample sleep, is able to manage stress well, and has good flexibility and posture.
It's hard to find a skinny person that fits that bill too fucknut!

Touché. But for them, exercise is much easier to start with a low risk of injury.

Sassenach · Post by **Sassenach** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:16 am

Patrick Donnelly wrote:
Hamper wrote:
Patrick Donnelly wrote:I've never seen a fattie who has a diet devoid of processed foods, sugars, and grease, gets ample sleep, is able to manage stress well, and has good flexibility and posture.
It's hard to find a skinny person that fits that bill too fucknut!
Touché. But for them, exercise is much easier to start with a low risk of injury.

Oh fuck off! They're fat, not fucking crippled. Where the fuck have you been getting this bullshit? SELF magazine? You gonna suggest fat people spot reduce too? Have any evidence to support this epidemic of fattie workout injuries?

FRKCTL · Post by **FRKCTL** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 2:49 pm

http://www.ejb.com/video/19638/Pole_dance_chubber.html

http://www.ejb.com/video/16959/Kid_vs_swing.html

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:52 pm

Science.......SCIENCE!!!!!!!!

p.diddlymick.

low intensity exercise cardio
(yer hour of cardio)
coupled with scaled and progressive resistance (yer weights and bands and shit) training
alongside calorie reduction (yer fucking foodhole)

has worked for just about every fucking person who has tried from the golden age on BB to normal schlubs like members of this board.

because you are blessed with the intellectual capacity of a 12 year old and the chronological age of a 20 year old, you've never had the learn that sometimes the basic boring shit works. please to now put your head in a black box.

POD · Post by **POD** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:36 pm

Patrick Donnelly wrote:I've never seen a fattie who has a diet devoid of processed foods, sugars, and grease, gets ample sleep, is able to manage stress well, and has good flexibility and posture. So, I figure if those things are the easiest to fix, get them out of the way first...

This post seems to be related here.

Damn. Chill the fuck out, guys. Like I said, I'm open to hearing opposing ideas, if you can at least try to back them up. Until then, I'm sticking what I said, so fuck you.

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:55 pm

Charismatic megafauna wrote:Science.......SCIENCE!!!!!!!!

p.diddlymick.

low intensity exercise cardio
(yer hour of cardio)
coupled with scaled and progressive resistance (yer weights and bands and shit) training
alongside calorie reduction (yer fucking foodhole)

has worked for just about every fucking person who has tried from the golden age on BB to normal schlubs like members of this board.

because you are blessed with the intellectual capacity of a 12 year old and the chronological age of a 20 year old, you've never had the learn that sometimes the basic boring shit works. please to now put your head in a black box.

To hell with science, CM, I 'll give you anecdotal evidence.
What you described is exactly how I went from a 320lb cream puff to a 210lb cream puff in a little under a year.
I've been there now for the past 23 years.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:12 pm

Patrick Donnelly wrote: Like I said, I'm open to hearing opposing ideas, if you can at least try to back them up. Until then, I'm sticking what I said, so fuck you.

Yeah, come on guys, quit picking on him. After all, no fat person has ever lost weight by burning more calories and ingesting less. They need to have dozens of broad modal domains addressed at once in order to see results.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:40 pm

Sofa King wrote:
Charismatic megafauna wrote:Science.......SCIENCE!!!!!!!!

p.diddlymick.

low intensity exercise cardio
(yer hour of cardio)
coupled with scaled and progressive resistance (yer weights and bands and shit) training
alongside calorie reduction (yer fucking foodhole)

has worked for just about every fucking person who has tried from the golden age on BB to normal schlubs like members of this board.

because you are blessed with the intellectual capacity of a 12 year old and the chronological age of a 20 year old, you've never had the learn that sometimes the basic boring shit works. please to now put your head in a black box.
To hell with science, CM, I 'll give you anecdotal evidence.
What you described is exactly how I went from a 320lb cream puff to a 210lb cream puff in a little under a year.
I've been there now for the past 23 years.

SofaKing...it is with great regret that the Lapsed Crossfitters Society head priest Streven Row must now inform you that science says that won't work...You must still be fat.

I'm so sorry for your gain, My deepest condololences...

Gary John · Post by **Gary John** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:00 pm

Seems the internet is an excess of drivel lately.

This isn't an x-fit disgustion broad, where there are endless posts about absolutely nothing.

Titty shot please, and back to the ballgame.

the fearless freep · Post by **the fearless freep** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:20 pm

Gary John wrote:Seems the internet is an excess of drivel lately.

This isn't an x-fit disgustion broad, where there are endless posts about absolutely nothing.

Titty shot please, and back to the ballgame.

Anything for a veteran:

: Untitled[1].jpg (45.6 KiB) Viewed 6322 times

Gary John · Post by **Gary John** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:19 pm

Ah, careful what you wish for.

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:54 pm

Charismatic megafauna wrote:
Sofa King wrote:
Charismatic megafauna wrote:Science.......SCIENCE!!!!!!!!

p.diddlymick.

low intensity exercise cardio
(yer hour of cardio)
coupled with scaled and progressive resistance (yer weights and bands and shit) training
alongside calorie reduction (yer fucking foodhole)

has worked for just about every fucking person who has tried from the golden age on BB to normal schlubs like members of this board.

because you are blessed with the intellectual capacity of a 12 year old and the chronological age of a 20 year old, you've never had the learn that sometimes the basic boring shit works. please to now put your head in a black box.
To hell with science, CM, I 'll give you anecdotal evidence.
What you described is exactly how I went from a 320lb cream puff to a 210lb cream puff in a little under a year.
I've been there now for the past 23 years.

SofaKing...it is with great regret that the Lapsed Crossfitters Society head priest Streven Row must now inform you that science says that won't work...You must still be fat.

I'm so sorry for your gain, My deepest condololences...

Thanks, CM.
I'll just have to soldier through. Or should that be waddle my fat ass through.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:09 pm

Sofa King wrote:
Charismatic megafauna wrote:
Sofa King wrote:
Charismatic megafauna wrote:Science.......SCIENCE!!!!!!!!

p.diddlymick.

low intensity exercise cardio
(yer hour of cardio)
coupled with scaled and progressive resistance (yer weights and bands and shit) training
alongside calorie reduction (yer fucking foodhole)

has worked for just about every fucking person who has tried from the golden age on BB to normal schlubs like members of this board.

because you are blessed with the intellectual capacity of a 12 year old and the chronological age of a 20 year old, you've never had the learn that sometimes the basic boring shit works. please to now put your head in a black box.
To hell with science, CM, I 'll give you anecdotal evidence.
What you described is exactly how I went from a 320lb cream puff to a 210lb cream puff in a little under a year.
I've been there now for the past 23 years.

SofaKing...it is with great regret that the Lapsed Crossfitters Society head priest Streven Row must now inform you that science says that won't work...You must still be fat.

I'm so sorry for your gain, My deepest condololences...
Thanks, CM.
I'll just have to soldier through. Or should that be waddle my fat ass through.

So Sorry. Tabata Muscle Ups......it is the only way.

POD · Post by **POD** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:16 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:After all, no fat person has ever lost weight by burning more calories and ingesting less. They need to have dozens of broad modal domains addressed at once in order to see results.

I'm saying simply to focus on ingesting less first. That'll get you pretty damn far. Burning more is secondary, in my opinion. Of course, I've said that now several times, but no one seems to understand it. Oh well. I don't like wasting my time arguing over the internet, so this'll be my last post on that matter.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:42 pm

LOL...this is funny stuff, Donnelly.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:46 pm

Also LOL at faggot Craig Fletcher from @Fit:

Went and toured a great big (and brannie new) 24 Hour Fitness globo gym with a co-worker today who wants to get into CrossFit because she wanted me to help her determine if she could CrossFit there. This was the first time I've been to a globo gym in a really long time. I am a fairly new CF'er but have been working out in my home gym for a while now (I'm full-time CF now, love it!).

I could tell right when I walked in that CrossFit has already tainted me into a snobby elitist contrarian. I couldn’t help but walk around and watch what everyone was doing and think to myself “this is doing these folks very little good.” There were like 50 people on cardio machines watching TV, reading magazines, etc. Just pretty much slacking, passing the time.. they weren’t working hard at all.

Then they had a HUGE room full of nautilus single lever machines, I mean like 30 of them, must have been $150,000 worth of stuff. Imagine what we could do with that much money.

Lots of dudes hanging out doing curls, bench press, and the like with their tank tops on. I thought to myself “I wonder how these guys would do in Fran?” There were two guys in the back doing jumping air squats and some pilates stuff, they looked like the only ones really working. They were all sweaty and exhausted…. They’d make good CF recruits. The other 100 people there seemed clueless to me, it was kind of a bummer. I bet if I told them how CF works half of them would think I’m crazy and none of the trainers would like it at all. They’d go out of business!!

They didn’t have ANY real pullup bars, (just foamy angled ones) and NOWHERE to do Oly lifting. They did have a dip station, that was nice. Nowhere to hang rings though. How can a gym that big have not one place to do Oly lifting anywhere? It was like 10,000 square feet in there!

No med balls

No kettle bells

No Plyo boxes

No Pullup bars

No oly lifting stations, no bumpers

No rowing machines

I guess the answer then would be, uhh… nope, you really can’t do CrossFit here unless you seriously modify, and then you’d just be in everyone’s way.

Geesh…. I guess I am going to recommend to her that she builds a small home gym in her spare bedroom?? She lives in a condo, no basement, no garage, not sure if her cielings are high enough for overhead work, she's going to measure for me tonight.

OH NOEZ!!! GUYS IN TANK TOPS?!?!?! THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AT @FIT HQ!!!

T200 · Post by **T200** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:47 pm

And John Wellborne all over the company line with some tall BS...

Contact kelly at [email protected] think the Kelly Starrett Midline Stablization Certification Seminar is golden as well! I attended and cant wait to attain my level 2 in the KSMSCS!

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:17 am

T200 wrote:Also LOL at faggot Craig Fletcher from @Fit:

Lots of dudes hanging out doing curls
OH NOEZ!!! GUYS IN TANK TOPS?!?!?! THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AT @FIT HQ!!!

It was MOTHERFUCKING ARMS DAY!!!!!11!1!11!
That's why they were doing curls, Craigiepoo.

And yes, no men in tank-tops at the HQ. Just lots of skinny guys with no shirt sporting all kinds of HARDCORE ink including tribal armbands (no offense, Shafster).

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:18 am

Charismatic megafauna wrote:
Sofa King wrote:
Charismatic megafauna wrote:
Sofa King wrote:
Charismatic megafauna wrote:Science.......SCIENCE!!!!!!!!

p.diddlymick.

low intensity exercise cardio
(yer hour of cardio)
coupled with scaled and progressive resistance (yer weights and bands and shit) training
alongside calorie reduction (yer fucking foodhole)

has worked for just about every fucking person who has tried from the golden age on BB to normal schlubs like members of this board.

because you are blessed with the intellectual capacity of a 12 year old and the chronological age of a 20 year old, you've never had the learn that sometimes the basic boring shit works. please to now put your head in a black box.
To hell with science, CM, I 'll give you anecdotal evidence.
What you described is exactly how I went from a 320lb cream puff to a 210lb cream puff in a little under a year.
I've been there now for the past 23 years.

SofaKing...it is with great regret that the Lapsed Crossfitters Society head priest Streven Row must now inform you that science says that won't work...You must still be fat.

I'm so sorry for your gain, My deepest condololences...
Thanks, CM.
I'll just have to soldier through. Or should that be waddle my fat ass through.
So Sorry. Tabata Muscle Ups......it is the only way.

Shit, I'm fukt.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:19 am

Patrick Donnelly wrote: Oh well. I don't like wasting my time arguing over the internet, so this'll be my last post

excellent news.

Patrick Donnelly wrote: on that matter.

fuck.

plz reconsider.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:43 am

Patrick, I've been easing off the nastiness, but maybe you better stick to soliciting gutpunching clients from Craigslist.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:46 am

That blood shit at @F LA is bullshit.

Fucking retards. In a hardcore boxing gym, when they bleed, they fucking clean it up with bleach and shit. Plus given all the promiscuity that goes hand in hand with @F, you know shit's going to be passed around more than AllisonNYC at a cert.

IGX

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