Dealing with Energy Vampires

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Bram
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Dealing with Energy Vampires

Post by Bram »

How do you approach those encounters?

Also, do you know your form of being a vampire?
“Do not reflect upon the possibility of defeat; you become too anxious and lose your freedom of style.” — Harry Vardon

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Bram
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Dealing with Energy Vampires

Post by Bram »

Dealing with them….

Been avoiding spending time with them. Setting boundaries when I can’t avoid them. And focusing on standing tall (literally and figuratively) when those things don’t work.

Dealing with myself….

My form is in rattling off shit I’m proud of. Shutting the fuck up more is as far as I’ve gotten. Gotta work on it more.
“Do not reflect upon the possibility of defeat; you become too anxious and lose your freedom of style.” — Harry Vardon


motherjuggs&speed
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Post by motherjuggs&speed »

This is shitposting, right? You're the biggest energy vampire here.

But I'll weigh in anyway. My form is wasting people's time IRL. I'll get into a mission or project, I'll tell people about it, sometimes people will help me, and then . . . either nothing comes of it or I fail. Which leaves everyone feeling worse. I keep telling myself to keep my ideas to myself but I don't. I get caught up in my own enthusiasm and start talking. All of my friends got sick of it and none of them wanted to hear about another idea because they all knew it would either come to nothing or I would make a mess of it. It just occurred to me as I write this that my parents did the same thing. In different ways, but the same basic thing: Have an idea, start on it with a lot of enthusiasm, talk about it, and then either nothing would happen or there would be a situation that needed fixing. I haven't changed this, except to talk less about my project ideas.

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Dealing with Energy Vampires

Post by Ronald RayGun »

You gents should go camping ...
"Sorry I didn't save the world, my friend. I was too busy building mine again" - Kendrick Lamar


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Post by motherjuggs&speed »

If the cabin hadn't burned down . . .

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Bram
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Post by Bram »

motherjuggs&speed wrote: Fri Sep 22, 2023 7:49 pm This is shitposting, right? You're the biggest energy vampire here.
If you’re going to act hyperbolic and combative, don’t communicate with me.
“Do not reflect upon the possibility of defeat; you become too anxious and lose your freedom of style.” — Harry Vardon


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Post by Luke »

I think my ex was like that, I'd go with it so as not to inflame things. The worst thing is I knew from the jump she was like that but still dove right in.

I aim to pick up as much slack as I personally can before asking for help - which often I don't do to friends or loved ones. I don't want to be a burden on anyone.


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Post by motherjuggs&speed »

Bram wrote: Sat Sep 23, 2023 3:05 am If you’re going to act hyperbolic and combative, don’t communicate with me.
This isn't the first time you've acted like you own a thread. That's not how forums work. It goes like this:

Someone starts a thread.
People may or may not reply to it.
The OP may or may not like the replies.
The thread may veer off in a direction the OP didn't intend.
Like this, you self obsessed, self aggrandizing narcissist.

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Bram
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Post by Bram »

Luke,

I’ve noticed a correlation between my self-esteem and looking the other way with this stuff. At work and with family, my self-esteem is currently healthy and I set boundaries. In romantic relationships, with friends, and with strangers, it’s not as healthy and I’m much more likely to tolerate bad behavior.

Trying to improve those weak areas.
“Do not reflect upon the possibility of defeat; you become too anxious and lose your freedom of style.” — Harry Vardon

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Bram
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Post by Bram »

MJ&S,

This isn’t the first time you’ve acted rude when unprovoked, and I’m not the only person you’ve acted this way towards. This is how life works:

Act unpleasant, especially for no good reason.
And people don’t want to be around you.
“Do not reflect upon the possibility of defeat; you become too anxious and lose your freedom of style.” — Harry Vardon

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Ronald RayGun
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Post by Ronald RayGun »

Ehh, what'd ya expect? Guy's always been a wingy cunt. It's incumbent upon all of us to understand it and dance with his faggorty gracefully. Tis IG law.
"Sorry I didn't save the world, my friend. I was too busy building mine again" - Kendrick Lamar


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Post by motherjuggs&speed »

I honestly think Bram is posting a lot of threads that are only about how enlightened Bram is.


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Post by Boris »

motherjuggs&speed wrote: Sun Sep 24, 2023 7:57 am I honestly think Bram is posting a lot of threads that are only about how enlightened Bram is.
Traffic is non-existent here. I can appreciate someone just trying to start a conversation talking about themselves.

Plenty of vampires around me - I try to be a beacon of positivity around them when I can, even if it's fake.

I can be a negative shit too, and if we're talking about run of the mill negative-funk stuff (not something more than that), then I try to get better sleep, eat better, reduce stressors, be a little more cognizant of diet/caffeine intake, maybe even take a day off - control what I can to help myself snap out of it. A quiet day to myself sometimes helps a lot when I can get it.

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Post by Bram »

motherjuggs&speed wrote: Sun Sep 24, 2023 7:57 am I honestly think Bram is posting a lot of threads that are only about how enlightened Bram is.
You dumb, flabby, gangrenous vagina,

I literally pointed out how I suck at being a person in this thread and that I’m struggling with not being that way. Admitting it isn’t some sort of demented humble-brag.
“Do not reflect upon the possibility of defeat; you become too anxious and lose your freedom of style.” — Harry Vardon


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Post by motherjuggs&speed »

Bram wrote: Sun Sep 24, 2023 9:02 pm You dumb, flabby, gangrenous vagina,
I would make this my sig if I could.

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Turdacious
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Post by Turdacious »

Bram wrote: Fri Sep 22, 2023 7:17 pm
My form is in rattling off shit I’m proud of. Shutting the fuck up more is as far as I’ve gotten. Gotta work on it more.
I would imagine that this varies from person to person. Could be a sign that you’re hanging around with people who aren’t going anywhere.

With family, I’ve been timeblocking. I know it’s going to be a time suck and I schedule for it. Seems to help a bit.
"Liberalism is arbitrarily selective in its choice of whose dignity to champion." Adrian Vermeule


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Post by motherjuggs&speed »

The form of communication matters as well. I have a family member who I can have a decent or even good conversation with by text but she's horrible in person and over the phone. So I learned to never call, just text.

I just realized that she's the anti-me.

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Bram
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Post by Bram »

Turd,

If someone is genuinely enthusiastic to see me, I don’t go to that place. Which is ironic because it’s a repellant behavior. And I could see disinterest being a trigger for the vampires I know too.
“Do not reflect upon the possibility of defeat; you become too anxious and lose your freedom of style.” — Harry Vardon

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Grandpa's Spells
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Post by Grandpa's Spells »

Image
One of the downsides of the Internet is that it allows like-minded people to form communities, and sometimes those communities are stupid.


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Post by Luke »

Bram wrote: Sat Sep 23, 2023 3:02 pm Luke,

I’ve noticed a correlation between my self-esteem and looking the other way with this stuff. At work and with family, my self-esteem is currently healthy and I set boundaries. In romantic relationships, with friends, and with strangers, it’s not as healthy and I’m much more likely to tolerate bad behavior.

Trying to improve those weak areas.
Interesting. I think for me my boundary setting is weak across the board, I have been able to improve it slightly. The stuff Gabor Mate says about people pleasing and his hypothesised cancer link kinda brings about an urgency to that for me!

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Post by Bram »

“I’m sorry I can’t come in to work this weekend, it will give me cancer.”

Never heard of that!

Anything worth sharing on boundaries you’ve set?
“Do not reflect upon the possibility of defeat; you become too anxious and lose your freedom of style.” — Harry Vardon

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Bram
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Post by Bram »

On the physical side of things that Luke brought up….

There’s someone in my social circle who’s an “endless complaint” energy vampire. When they get going, I get this intense neck pain. It’s like someone’s digging a rod in between my vertebrae and moving it around. I mentioned it to someone who knows them and they said they experienced this exact same pain when they pull their bullshit!

Makes me curious of being physically sensitive to other vampire’s suck techniques.
“Do not reflect upon the possibility of defeat; you become too anxious and lose your freedom of style.” — Harry Vardon


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Post by Gene »

Bram wrote: Fri Sep 22, 2023 7:13 pm How do you approach those encounters?
Indifference. People who steal your passion and motivation are like boat anchors tied to your ass. You can't get angry at them because that drags you down into their shit puddle. It's engaging them that hurts you so don't pay them so much mind.

Focus on what you can change, help them in small ways. Dangle possibilities in front of them of being self directed and moving forward.

Most Vampires get bored from not having a companion to join them in playing in shit. You will bore them. They will go away.
Don't like yourself too much.

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Post by Bram »

Gene,

It’s hard to switch off my “friendly” setting. Because of that, I end up being a safe haven for a variety of good and bad energies.

But you bring up a good point in mentioning focusing on what actual positives we can bring to the situation. Being friendly, then allowing ourselves to get trapped in a 20-minute diatribe, with melting groceries in hand, isn’t helpful for either side.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
“Do not reflect upon the possibility of defeat; you become too anxious and lose your freedom of style.” — Harry Vardon


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Post by Luke »

Bram wrote: Fri Sep 29, 2023 2:21 pm On the physical side of things that Luke brought up….

There’s someone in my social circle who’s an “endless complaint” energy vampire. When they get going, I get this intense neck pain. It’s like someone’s digging a rod in between my vertebrae and moving it around. I mentioned it to someone who knows them and they said they experienced this exact same pain when they pull their bullshit!

Makes me curious of being physically sensitive to other vampire’s suck techniques.
You wonder if that's where "so and so is a pain in the neck" etc. comes from.

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