Givers = want to help others. "I help you."
Takers = do everything they can to get the most. "You help me."
Matchers = want to do everything fairly. "You help me, I help you."
He sez these are fluid, you might give to the church generously, but bargain aggressively for a used bike on Craigslist.
The main take-away was this:
The most, and least, successful people, in any field (medicine, engineering, etc.)...are the givers.
At the start, they lag behind, because they prioritize helping others at the expense of maybe enough sleep, or enough study time, or enough money.
Over time though, all that good will adds up and people they helped maybe years ago will try and support them.
I was a textbook "taker" for years. This permeated nearly every aspect of life. And people get sick of takers. Surfing specifically created so much bad blood from me being a greedy motherfucker, that I was forced to change or quit (or fight people). So now, I'm a matcher. For say, the last 3-4 years.
But this still creates A LOT of bad blood, because the moment someone else starts being greedy, I can't notice anything but this. There are exceptions, but if we're surfing and you cut me off, I'm probably pissed for days (and I'm likely to yell at you, which doesn't help my state of mind).
So I am attempting to convert myself into being a giver. Part of me has a vague sense that maybe it'll be beneficial down the line (based on ol' Adam Grant), but the other part is tired of being furious. I think the dispersion of anger alone is a worthy enough cause, even if it means a bit of sacrifice.
Thoughts?
