The couch thread

[tough old man]

Gay rainbows and @fit...go figure.

[newguy]

He missed a prime opportunity.

He should be doing an overhead squat with the turtle.

[Gin Master]

Really? Seriously?

some fucking knob pressing a tortoise

I hope to God that's a snapping turtle.

That is officially the dumbest fucking thing I've seen all week.

Just shitting on historical monuments--by doing handstands in front of them--isn't enough anymore. Now they have to shit on iconic images of old time strongmen.



I'm pretty sure Arthur Saxon would cram that turtle up the twink's ass.

[GoDogGo!]

Really? Seriously?

some fucking knob pressing a tortoise

I hope to God that's a snapping turtle.

That is officially the dumbest fucking thing I've seen all week.

Just shitting on historical monuments--by doing handstands in front of them--isn't enough anymore. Now they have to shit on iconic images of old time strongmen.



I'm pretty sure Arthur Saxon would cram that turtle up the twink's ass.

And use his cock to do it, from what I hear.

[POD]

He missed a prime opportunity.

He should be doing an overhead squat with the turtle.

No, the turtle THAH lift is clearly more functional than the turtle OHS. If you're trying to save a turtle from danger by getting it away from a predator, how will an overhead squat help you? In order to OHS a turtle, you've got to get it overhead first, and once it's up there, that's the furthest it'll get from the predator, so there's no point in squatting to bring it lower. Using the THAH you can save not only one turtle, but two!

This is functional training, my friends.

[Anon]

Really? Seriously?

some fucking knob pressing a tortoise

I hope to God that's a snapping turtle.

That is officially the dumbest fucking thing I've seen all week.

I see your week and raise you 3 months.

[Schlegel]

Really? Seriously?

some fucking knob pressing a tortoise

I hope to God that's a snapping turtle.

That is officially the dumbest fucking thing I've seen all week.

Just shitting on historical monuments--by doing handstands in front of them--isn't enough anymore. Now they have to shit on iconic images of old time strongmen.



I'm pretty sure Arthur Saxon would cram that turtle up the twink's ass.

And use his cock to do it, from what I hear.

And yet @fit is still more gay than Saxon.

[WildGorillaMan]

Really? Seriously?

some fucking knob pressing a tortoise

I hope to God that's a snapping turtle.

That is officially the dumbest fucking thing I've seen all week.

Just shitting on historical monuments--by doing handstands in front of them--isn't enough anymore. Now they have to shit on iconic images of old time strongmen.



I'm pretty sure Arthur Saxon would cram that turtle up the twink's ass.

And use his cock to do it, from what I hear.

And yet @fit is still more gay than Saxon.

@fit is more gay than all three Saxon brothers running a train on Sig Klein and his semen-drenched gladiator sandals.

[GoDogGo!]

@fit is more gay than all three Saxon brothers running a train on Sig Klein and his semen-drenched gladiator sandals.

While Saxon and Joe Weider look on and spank it.

[WildGorillaMan]

@fit is more gay than all three Saxon brothers running a train on Sig Klein and his semen-drenched gladiator sandals.

While Saxon and Joe Weider look on and spank it.

Weider was a pre-teen when the Saxons were in their prime. I really don't care to take this analogy any further, thank you.

[WildGorillaMan]

Xfitdude (5 hours ago)
I'm slowly introducing milk back into my diet, I haven't touched the stuff in 2.5years since going Paleo. I also plan on eating more junk food, I struggled today with squats and it shouldn't happen if I had been eating enough to gain some weight.

We live in a society where pre-teen girls think they need to eat like supermodels, and boys are eating paleo? Good lord.

[GoDogGo!]

@fit is more gay than all three Saxon brothers running a train on Sig Klein and his semen-drenched gladiator sandals.

While Saxon and Joe Weider look on and spank it.

Weider was a pre-teen when the Saxons were in their prime. I really don't care to take this analogy any further, thank you.

Goddamn. Marvel comics makes like 4,000 alternate timelines and universes and shit, and everyone loves it. I bend time JUST A LITTLE so that we can get more big-time BB homosexuals into one room to balance out @Fit and you get all lecturey on me.

[Fish]

This is classic @fit nonsense when asked what the point of being "fit" is:

I ride the shopping cart really fast across the parking lot, jump off without twisting my ankle, then carry all the bags of groceries and two gallons of raw milk up a flight of steps in one trip when in a hurry.

[Fish]

Xfitdude (5 hours ago)
I'm slowly introducing milk back into my diet, I haven't touched the stuff in 2.5years since going Paleo. I also plan on eating more junk food, I struggled today with squats and it shouldn't happen if I had been eating enough to gain some weight.

We live in a society where pre-teen girls think they need to eat like supermodels, and boys are eating paleo? Good lord.

Dude just wait until the years of paleo and functional training pay off. He is going to go caveman on our asses.

[Fish]

He missed a prime opportunity.

He should be doing an overhead squat with the turtle.

No, the turtle THAH lift is clearly more functional than the turtle OHS. If you're trying to save a turtle from danger by getting it away from a predator, how will an overhead squat help you? In order to OHS a turtle, you've got to get it overhead first, and once it's up there, that's the furthest it'll get from the predator, so there's no point in squatting to bring it lower. Using the THAH you can save not only one turtle, but two!

This is functional training, my friends.

Never know when that could come in handy.

"Heavy Snapping Turtle Fran"
15-12-9 reps of:
Turtle THAH
Pullups with a kettlebell clipped to your penis (or clit)

Men use 80#/16kg and women 50#/12kg

[Anon]

lol

http://www.time.com/time/health/article ... ml?cnn=yes

samesize.jpg (44.71 KiB) Viewed 9710 times

[jscratch]

"Heavy Snapping Turtle Fran"
15-12-9 reps of:
Turtle THAH
Pullups with a kettlebell clipped to your penis (or clit)

Men use 80#/16kg and women 50#/12kg

While that's a good idea, we all know that's WAY too heavy for your average xfitter.

[Anon]

whoops wrong thread lol

[WildGorillaMan]

Don't get me wrong, he is totally hardcore, he has eaten more shit on the show than 2 Girls 1 Cup

who has?

[Botototo]

The 2009 CrossFit Games were an incredible leap forward from 2008.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Leap_Forward

***

So I've always figured it was mainly entertainment to call him an alcoholic, but I just had a realization that could change everything. If you watch him speak at the certs with the assumption that he's drunk the whole time, almost all of Glassman's behavior makes sense.

Check it out http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... es_Pre.mov

Consider the following signs:

1. Bizarre, overly-expansive hand gestures, including frequently touching oneself in a comforting way
2. Overly elaborate and vaguely inappropriate word choices, followed by an obviously visceral pleasure in pro-noun-cing those words
3. Forgetting basic facts
4. Stumbling over extremely simple concepts or taking 10 seconds to figure out crazy shit like adverbs
5. The occasional clownlike facial expression
6. Slurrrrring
7. Pointing and yelling at random strangers
8. Consistently mispronouncing certain words. (I feel sure that he accidentally called gymnasts "jim-NAHSTS" one day and has been forced to keep it up ever since to cover the slip.)
9. Actually just drinking right in front of you (this is only in the full version of that video, but no shit).

I always assumed the Glassman verbiage was just an idiosyncratic style of presenting, but this really makes perfect sense and explains much more. The same shit that would be hugely pretentious in normal circumstances is good fun when expounded by a drunk guy in a bowling shirt.

[Anon]

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=5075&p=390860&hilit=drunk#p390860

lol, I totally agree.

This video was during the low point when personal grooming/showering had fallen off the priority list.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

No, it's not a joke.

The Great Man of Crossfit enjoys his gin and Coors Light.

[Gin Master]

[So I've always figured it was mainly entertainment to call him an alcoholic, but I just had a realization that could change everything. If you watch him speak at the certs with the assumption that he's drunk the whole time, almost all of Glassman's behavior makes sense.

Check it out http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... es_Pre.mov

It's amazing what 30 days in Betty Ford, a shave, and a bowling shirt can do for a man. It's good to see they're letting Otis mingle with his people again.

Happy Friday!

http://images.tmuscle.com/forum_images/ ... akland.jpg













http://crossfit-springfield.com/wp-cont ... it-159.jpg

[WildGorillaMan]

The 2009 CrossFit Games were an incredible leap forward from 2008.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Leap_Forward

***

So I've always figured it was mainly entertainment to call him an alcoholic, but I just had a realization that could change everything. If you watch him speak at the certs with the assumption that he's drunk the whole time, almost all of Glassman's behavior makes sense.

Check it out http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... es_Pre.mov

Consider the following signs:

1. Bizarre, overly-expansive hand gestures, including frequently touching oneself in a comforting way
2. Overly elaborate and vaguely inappropriate word choices, followed by an obviously visceral pleasure in pro-noun-cing those words
3. Forgetting basic facts
4. Stumbling over extremely simple concepts or taking 10 seconds to figure out crazy shit like adverbs
5. The occasional clownlike facial expression
6. Slurrrrring
7. Pointing and yelling at random strangers
8. Consistently mispronouncing certain words. (I feel sure that he accidentally called gymnasts "jim-NAHSTS" one day and has been forced to keep it up ever since to cover the slip.)
9. Actually just drinking right in front of you (this is only in the full version of that video, but no shit).

I always assumed the Glassman verbiage was just an idiosyncratic style of presenting, but this really makes perfect sense and explains much more. The same shit that would be hugely pretentious in normal circumstances is good fun when expounded by a drunk guy in a bowling shirt.

Pointing out the obvious is kind of second nature to you, isn't it?

[WildGorillaMan]

Bravo, Gin Master. There were some gooders there!