The couch thread

[Fat Cat]

According to the Talmud (Kiddushin 29a), a father must teach his child three things: (1) Torah, (2) a trade, and (3) how to swim.

Shut the fuck up.

[Sofa King]

Fuck the bourbon, where's the nitrous?
"Momeee?"

[Anon]

While I agree, the nitrous clip is better, this seems more appropriate to the "bitch get my gin" comment.

[Sofa King]

Agree, and welcome Mrs. Couch!
Drinks all around.

[Shapecharge]

Mr. Couch, I respectfully request you let me play with your wife's tits.

[GoDogGo!]

Finally, I understand. The gin, the gangsta limp... he forgot the "raisin" part!

http://www.peoplespharmacy.com/archives ... s_pain.php

[The Real Rant]

*

[Sassenach]

*

Oh get the fuck out of here you whiny little bitch.

[Hebrew Hammer]

A few weeks ago in Newsweek they had articles on the benefits of stress. One of the articles was on the special forces water test at fort benning. They apparently tie your hands together and your legs together and you have to hold on to some sort of tether in your teeth. They then throw you in the water. The only way to survive is to completely relax, assume control of your breathing, sink to the bottom, push up to above water, take a deep breath, then sink again, and on it goes. Many guys freak and pass out. They haul them out, give them 30 seconds to decide whether to get thrown back in. If they say no, they're out.

[Batboy2/75]

A few weeks ago in Newsweek they had articles on the benefits of stress. One of the articles was on the special forces water test at fort benning. They apparently tie your hands together and your legs together and you have to hold on to some sort of tether in your teeth. They then throw you in the water. The only way to survive is to completely relax, assume control of your breathing, sink to the bottom, push up to above water, take a deep breath, then sink again, and on it goes. Many guys freak and pass out. They haul them out, give them 30 seconds to decide whether to get thrown back in. If they say no, they're out.

That sounds closer to the type tests at various military Dive schools or SEAL training. As far as I know that isn't a normal Army SF test for entry to the SF program.

[***]

The first CrossFit affiliate arrived on 10/11/2002. In the past year alone, we've added close to 700 affiliates to our family. CrossFit affiliates bang out the WOD everyday in 48 U.S. states and on six continents, and we even have practicing CrossFitters on Antarctica.

Today, we thank our entire CrossFit family for making this day possible. We'd be nothing without you.



Now, let's hear from Joe. His story is his own, but it sounds like so many of us too:

"CrossFit has given me so much already. I am now the owner of my own business, my health and fitness levels have sky-rocketed, and I plan to continue to help as many people as possible by giving them the power to help themselves as well. I plan to take this opportunity to be not only the best damn coach I can be, but the best damn person I can be."

GG

[***]

Mr. Couch, I respectfully request you let me play with your wife's tits.

Go home - Get 25-30 dips - then come back in here and you will have about 3 dips on my rings.

[the fearless freep]

A few weeks ago in Newsweek they had articles on the benefits of stress. One of the articles was on the special forces water test at fort benning. They apparently tie your hands together and your legs together and you have to hold on to some sort of tether in your teeth. They then throw you in the water. The only way to survive is to completely relax, assume control of your breathing, sink to the bottom, push up to above water, take a deep breath, then sink again, and on it goes. Many guys freak and pass out. They haul them out, give them 30 seconds to decide whether to get thrown back in. If they say no, they're out.

That sounds closer to the type tests at various military Dive schools or SEAL training. As far as I know that isn't a normal Army SF test for entry to the SF program.

BB 2/75 is correct, that test is for SF Scuba training and probably SEAL training as well. The swim test entry requirements for Army SF and Ranger includes a 50-100 meter swim with BDUs/boots, equipment, and rifle, a blindfolded step off a high dive with equipment and rifle, and an underwater equipment removal as an emergency procedure. That is unless they've changed the requirements in few years.

[Mickey O'neil]

http://www.newsweek.com/id/184156/page/2


At the elite Navy Diving and Salvage Training Center in Panama City, Fla., they know how to figure out quickly who will be capable of accomplishing extremely dangerous underwater missions. They take young sailors and tie their hands behind their backs and bind their feet. They put the strap of a dive mask between the sailors' teeth and then throw them in the Olympic-size pool. The challenge is to stay afloat and live. "The more someone struggles," Morgan tells me, "the harder it is to get air and the more tired they get. You just have to inhibit the powerful, incredible instinct to breathe and your anxiety and alarm." Morgan knows how scary it is because they also tied him up and threw him in so he could understand what the sailors were going through. Most trainees quickly realize that the only way to avoid drowning is to relax and sink to the bottom of the pool, kick off powerfully toward the surface, gasp for a little bit of air through clenched teeth and then fall back into the water and drop down to the bottom again.

During this testing, a lot of sailors black out. They simply don't get enough oxygen and lose consciousness. Morgan has watched many of them sink to the bottom of the pool before divers pull them to the surface. On the deck, the unconscious sailors are rolled on their sides, and as soon as they revive, an instructor shouts again and again: "Are you gonna quit? Are you gonna quit?" Sailors are given 30 seconds to answer or they're kicked out of the program. If they say they want to keep going, they're given another 30 seconds to recover and then they're thrown back into the pool. It may sound sadistic, but the Navy is simply trying to identify who will survive the most dangerous missions and who won't. Through this grueling test, it finds soldiers and sailors who refuse to give up, who can suppress the need to breathe, who trust that they'll be rescued if something goes wrong and who are prepared to lose consciousness—or even die—following orders.



The section on the Special Forces was just before this.

[Turdacious]

Sounds like torture to me.

[The Ginger Beard Man]

The Air Force PJ's do that test. It's in a book called "That Other's May Live", by a guy from the NY Air National Guard in Westhampton. I read it a few years ago. They were out the night of "The Perfect Storm", and lost 3 or 4 guys.

[powerlifter54]

http://www.newsweek.com/id/184156/page/2


At the elite Navy Diving and Salvage Training Center in Panama City, Fla., they know how to figure out quickly who will be capable of accomplishing extremely dangerous underwater missions. They take young sailors and tie their hands behind their backs and bind their feet. They put the strap of a dive mask between the sailors' teeth and then throw them in the Olympic-size pool. The challenge is to stay afloat and live. "The more someone struggles," Morgan tells me, "the harder it is to get air and the more tired they get. You just have to inhibit the powerful, incredible instinct to breathe and your anxiety and alarm." Morgan knows how scary it is because they also tied him up and threw him in so he could understand what the sailors were going through. Most trainees quickly realize that the only way to avoid drowning is to relax and sink to the bottom of the pool, kick off powerfully toward the surface, gasp for a little bit of air through clenched teeth and then fall back into the water and drop down to the bottom again.

During this testing, a lot of sailors black out. They simply don't get enough oxygen and lose consciousness. Morgan has watched many of them sink to the bottom of the pool before divers pull them to the surface. On the deck, the unconscious sailors are rolled on their sides, and as soon as they revive, an instructor shouts again and again: "Are you gonna quit? Are you gonna quit?" Sailors are given 30 seconds to answer or they're kicked out of the program. If they say they want to keep going, they're given another 30 seconds to recover and then they're thrown back into the pool. It may sound sadistic, but the Navy is simply trying to identify who will survive the most dangerous missions and who won't. Through this grueling test, it finds soldiers and sailors who refuse to give up, who can suppress the need to breathe, who trust that they'll be rescued if something goes wrong and who are prepared to lose consciousness—or even die—following orders.



The section on the Special Forces was just before this.

This is ending under Obama. Since stressing anybody or torturing them is known to all to not work, all diver, SEAL, and SF candidates will all attend Tony Robbins seminars to decide if they can make it. If they cannot feel the pain of their fellow seakers, they will be pulled out and given 30 seconds to decide if they are willing to consider the pain everybody carries around and limits their potential.

[Hebrew Hammer]

A few weeks ago in Newsweek they had articles on the benefits of stress. One of the articles was on the special forces water test at fort benning. They apparently tie your hands together and your legs together and you have to hold on to some sort of tether in your teeth. They then throw you in the water. The only way to survive is to completely relax, assume control of your breathing, sink to the bottom, push up to above water, take a deep breath, then sink again, and on it goes. Many guys freak and pass out. They haul them out, give them 30 seconds to decide whether to get thrown back in. If they say no, they're out.

That sounds closer to the type tests at various military Dive schools or SEAL training. As far as I know that isn't a normal Army SF test for entry to the SF program.

Gnome nailed it.

[RPC]

Re: Ross

Couch has also essentially accused him of ripping off CrossFit

Here's what Couch had to say about Ross (http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/003757.html) post # 309:

The problem with Ross Training (which is great training) is that Ross hung out on our msg board for a couple of years before launching his program and was at first every bit as much a newbie as anyone has ever been. This is the same problem Mark Twight has compounded with his illegal copyright theft and unethical plagiarism.

Ross is guilty of nothing. He's reinvented the wheel while this community watched. He's reaching people we might not have, and it doesn't take much exposure to find your way back to the source. (Derivative is praiseworthy ONLY when accompanied by improvement. Improvement will be recognized by data. Those are the world's rules.)

Ross was pretty amused when I forwarded that little bit to him.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Yeah, considering Ross's first stuff came out about the same time as couchfit, if not a bit before.

[Grandpa's Spells]

CrossFit is as original as any novel, poem, musical score, recipe OR software (always ones and zeros, therefor never original). The argument you describe is, Sir, stupid, indefensible, and shocking. I don't fault you for it, however. You didn't think it through.

Couch is sounding Devany-esque.

[Sofa King]

At one time or another, there were about 5 Ross's posting on the @fit board. I'm sure he means the one that's not Enamait.
Therefore, as always, Couch is right. Long live Couch.

[Hebrew Hammer]

Re: Ross

Couch has also essentially accused him of ripping off CrossFit

Here's what Couch had to say about Ross (http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/003757.html) post # 309:

The problem with Ross Training (which is great training) is that Ross hung out on our msg board for a couple of years before launching his program and was at first every bit as much a newbie as anyone has ever been. This is the same problem Mark Twight has compounded with his illegal copyright theft and unethical plagiarism.

Ross is guilty of nothing. He's reinvented the wheel while this community watched. He's reaching people we might not have, and it doesn't take much exposure to find your way back to the source. (Derivative is praiseworthy ONLY when accompanied by improvement. Improvement will be recognized by data. Those are the world's rules.)

Ross was pretty amused when I forwarded that little bit to him.

This guy seems to throw around a lot of legal claims. Does he actually claim to have a protectable interest in anything, including the Crossfit name?

[Cayenne]

Re: Ross

Couch has also essentially accused him of ripping off CrossFit

Here's what Couch had to say about Ross (http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/003757.html) post # 309:

The problem with Ross Training (which is great training) is that Ross hung out on our msg board for a couple of years before launching his program and was at first every bit as much a newbie as anyone has ever been. This is the same problem Mark Twight has compounded with his illegal copyright theft and unethical plagiarism.

Ross is guilty of nothing. He's reinvented the wheel while this community watched. He's reaching people we might not have, and it doesn't take much exposure to find your way back to the source. (Derivative is praiseworthy ONLY when accompanied by improvement. Improvement will be recognized by data. Those are the world's rules.)

Ross was pretty amused when I forwarded that little bit to him.

Back in the day - was it the 1970s? - the ABC Television Network had a show called "Superstars" where athletes from different sports would compete against each other in all around athletic competition.

I wish there was a Superstars for Internet S&C Gurus.

[Turdacious]

Re: Ross

Couch has also essentially accused him of ripping off CrossFit

Here's what Couch had to say about Ross (http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/003757.html) post # 309:

The problem with Ross Training (which is great training) is that Ross hung out on our msg board for a couple of years before launching his program and was at first every bit as much a newbie as anyone has ever been. This is the same problem Mark Twight has compounded with his illegal copyright theft and unethical plagiarism.

Ross is guilty of nothing. He's reinvented the wheel while this community watched. He's reaching people we might not have, and it doesn't take much exposure to find your way back to the source. (Derivative is praiseworthy ONLY when accompanied by improvement. Improvement will be recognized by data. Those are the world's rules.)

Ross was pretty amused when I forwarded that little bit to him.

Apparently he never comes here:

CrossFit is as original as any novel, poem, musical score, recipe OR software (always ones and zeros, therefor never original). The argument you describe is, Sir, stupid, indefensible, and shocking. I don't fault you for it, however. You didn't think it through.

This argument/observation, used sadly by our dear friend Phil Mancini last week, is so weak that when it was offered by one of the Queen's JAG's in Canada during meetings to formally decide whether Canadian Forces needed to attribute/compensate CrossFit for their use of our program, immediately on hearing this week line of argument, the majority quickly decided that this, CrossFit, was IP and that attribution, compensation, and licensing was morally, ethically, and legally required. Good, good, people Canadians. Neither stupid nor dishonest. Great combination of attributes.

And, as for your comment about this, CrossFit, being "extant knowledge", on this point you're 100% wrong.

We've weathered attacks against every single facet of this concept from academia, commercial fitness, athletic training, and Internet turds with no athletic training or experience beyond Internet posting (DD, IronGarm, T-Nation). Truth is CrossFit is "Bizarro World" different from what is going on at every university sports program (except the ones we've infected), commercial gyms (except for the ones we've infected), and among exercise physiologists (except for the ones we've infected).