The couch thread

[Shafpocalypse Now]

snicker at Donnelly still holding on to his Glassman inspired fitness snobbery

[The Real Rant]

This just in. Sheri Keister says:

" Brendan leaving was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. I have grown as a woman like I never would have had he stayed and continued to suck the life out of me."


"I am Single for the first time in 19 years, and you know what - I am completely happy."

Whose buying this? In the same breath she starts talking about having a "relationship" with her ex and then mentions two other dudes that she'll be bringing into her home with her children. Chicks like this are never happy being single. To them happiness is a warm cock. What a train wreck.

Let the healing begin!

http://sharikeener.blogspot.com/

[Shafpocalypse Now]

I can't read her blogs anymore.

[TerryB]

My Life is Incredible!!! No really!!! It's great!!! The best EVER!!! I'm Happy!! I feel great!!! Honestly!!! I really do!! Incredible!!! Really! Really. It's great. I'm happier now than ever.....SOB!!!!!

[Gin Master]

Patrick, JE goes around 120/160 in OLY. I wouldn't get too concerned about his form. That's what a man looks like doing jumping jacks with 60kg.

I've got no doubt that man is strong as fuck, but the droves of CrossFitters who try to emulate that aren't. I wonder if there's something specific about the high-rep retardedness that pushes people into using bad technique. Even in this video of Donny Shankle (an actual weightlifter) doing "Grace," he's mangling the lifts from the get-go.

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... eGrace.mov" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Let's reset, PD. You're in safe, nurturing place to cultivate your @F hate. But, hell, why are you using the best athlete @F has in their ranks (Everett) and a national champion Olympic lifter (Shankle) to prove a point? Start with the low-hanging fruit, man. Troll the affiliate pages and find some skinny douchebag doing a handstand on a riding lawn mower or overhead squatting a bag of dog food. Find some tatted up kweer in board shorts deadlifting 185# wearing a belt. Start small and grow.

I'll help. This nugget was posted on the affiliate page today. See what you can do with it.

Chad Williams (owner of CrossFit Edmonton) set out to get a handstand photo at Diamond Head, Hawaii, just for his personal "Handstands Around the World" photo collection. But as his wife started snapping, so too did the tourists--and they asked him to do it again so they could get the shot.

It's an interesting perspective: CrossFit as spectacle. (Public handstands, park WODs, globo-gym WODs, etc.) It is, arguably, one of our greatest methods of advertising. People see and they ask what we're doing. But do we ever take it too far? Or have we not even taken it far enough?

[Mountebank]

Can you smell another certification in "WAD transitions" coming?
http://crossfitdelawarevalley.typepad.c ... times.html

Have you ever considered how much time and effort is lost moving from one exercise to another during mixed modality WODs? Do you want to lessen the amount of time it takes to begin that next movement? Do you want to finish your WODs faster? If your answer is yes, then we have some methods and techniques that may assist you. None of them are mind blowing, revolutionary, wheel inventing notions, but rather are some simple and obvious actions you can take before and during a workout to compress the time moving from one station to the next and actually performing movements.

This stuff stinks of triathlon so bad it's disgusting.

[Gin Master]

WTF are you talking about, Quack? This stuff is science at its best. This single paragraph will redefine the way humans think about efficiency and performance.

How about strategies for transitioning? For example, to cut down on transition time, an athlete may set up his barbell facing away from the pull-up cage. Once the athlete has completed the thrusters, he or she can simply step backwards into the cage to grab the pull-up bar versus stepping over the bar, which decreases time and risks tripping. Durning "Cindy," instead of walking 10ft away from a pull-up bar to execute the push-ups and squats, drop from the bar right to the floor and then back to standing for squats. When setting up "Fight Gone Bad" ask what set-up saves the most transition time: a circle, a half circle, a straight line, opposing stations? Remember to use all patterns of movement (forward, backward, lateral, and diagonal) to facilitate ease of movement between exercises.

[Sofa King]

WTF are you talking about, Quack? This stuff is science at its best. This single paragraph will redefine the way humans think about efficiency and performance.

How about strategies for transitioning? For example, to cut down on transition time, an athlete may set up his barbell facing away from the pull-up cage. Once the athlete has completed the thrusters, he or she can simply step backwards into the cage to grab the pull-up bar versus stepping over the bar, which decreases time and risks tripping. Durning "Cindy," instead of walking 10ft away from a pull-up bar to execute the push-ups and squats, drop from the bar right to the floor and then back to standing for squats. When setting up "Fight Gone Bad" ask what set-up saves the most transition time: a circle, a half circle, a straight line, opposing stations? Remember to use all patterns of movement (forward, backward, lateral, and diagonal) to facilitate ease of movement between exercises.

I shot through a WAD this morning. and my wife said I was very "efficient." Moving the barbell out of the bedroom may have helped.

[TerryB]

WTF are you talking about, Quack? This stuff is science at its best. This single paragraph will redefine the way humans think about efficiency and performance.

How about strategies for transitioning? For example, to cut down on transition time, an athlete may set up his barbell facing away from the pull-up cage. Once the athlete has completed the thrusters, he or she can simply step backwards into the cage to grab the pull-up bar versus stepping over the bar, which decreases time and risks tripping. Durning "Cindy," instead of walking 10ft away from a pull-up bar to execute the push-ups and squats, drop from the bar right to the floor and then back to standing for squats. When setting up "Fight Gone Bad" ask what set-up saves the most transition time: a circle, a half circle, a straight line, opposing stations? Remember to use all patterns of movement (forward, backward, lateral, and diagonal) to facilitate ease of movement between exercises.

Don't forget gentlemen, these advanced techniques WILL make you a better soldier, police officer, or all-around fitness badass. If you don't believe me, ask Sgt. Chadwick with the 3d Navy Seal regiment, or call Colonel Hepburn with the 75th Ranger Battalion. This is how elite operators are training today.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Ah...can't see the forest through the trees now, is it.

For precious seconds on the WOD, despite the only sport having good WAD times is good for is the Crossfit games.

[Mountebank]

From today's WAD, classic @Fer jibberish:
http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/004624.html

I SO WANT TO CRY! DAME YOU HELEN YOU WILL BE MY BITCH TOMORROW!!!!! Don't care that my hands are utterly shredded from DT :(

21 DB swings at 55. This is gonna suck the big one!

LET ME SEE YOUR YOUR WAR FACE!!!!!! ARRRRGGG. PUKY PISS OFF!!!!!

Comment #49 - Posted by: Jordan Wright at April 14, 2009 9:09 PM

WTF?

On that same page, it seems that the @F movie is set to screen one time, at one theatre, at which @F likely booked it themselves. Not exactly the world domination I'm sure they kept telling themselves they would get once it was done...darn.

[Anon]

RQ - nothing good can come from surfing the daily comments, let it go brother, just say no.

[TerryB]

21 DB swings at 55. This is gonna suck the big one!

Is it really fair to make them do 21 swings with 50% of their Deadlift 1RM?

[Mountebank]

Joe, I understand what you're saying...I don't know how many of you can stomach going on the message board so often.

[Blaidd Drwg]

21 DB swings at 55. This is gonna suck the big one!

Is it really fair to make them do 21 swings with 50% of their Deadlift 1RM?

considering a bar and plates is right about 1RM for most...I'd say sure.

[Gin Master]

Like Shari with nudity, ANYC with dicks, Dirty Diva with piercings, and Hop Sing with the Diva, we just can't stay away.

[The Real Rant]

The daily comments are for kids, mere rookies. I can’t bother to look there anymore. Unless Couch starts slurring on line there is never anything all that interesting posted there. It’s the usual sort of douche bag stuff. One needs to refine the hate, focus on a few individuals, an affiliate, strike up correspondence with rational @fitters and get the inside dirt and of course keep the hate for Couch blazing. I speak from experience on this. The daily comments will eventually make your brain explode between the mutual cock slurping, the faux tough guy shit and your general sort of douche baggery. Remember boys we're in this for the long haul. Don’t shoot you load too soon.

Rant

[Holy Cow]

What's up with all this spamming? How come it wasn't here before, and what do we do to stop it?

[TerryB]

Is that Couch in the last picture there?

[clem]

Is that Couch in the last picture there?

Yeah, he's doing a kipping pull up demo.

[Anon]

Is it just me or is the quality of the spam getting better each time they post?

[WildGorillaMan]

Something for everybody in that post, truly.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

I want to know how to get that spamming gig, since it's a live person doing the registering of the accounts.

Plus, what Rant said...except sometime cooch's d-baggery is displayed in it's highest and finest form in the comments, so if someone doesn't read 'em, then we miss out.

Just don't ask me to do it.

Sometimes I will do a search for cooch in them, but it's a very infrequent thing.

[The Real Rant]

Plus, what Rant said...except sometime cooch's d-baggery is displayed in it's highest and finest form in the comments, so if someone doesn't read 'em, then we miss out.

Just don't ask me to do it.

Fortunately you don’t have to. This thread just keeps attracting new found @fit haters with that level of burning resentment necessary to trudge through all the shit and dig out the gems. Grizzled vets like us shouldn’t have to do that sort of heavy lifting. We have earned our stripes. It’s enough that we occasionally hit one of the park to keep the hate alive.

[Gin Master]

Plus, what Rant said...except sometime cooch's d-baggery is displayed in it's highest and finest form in the comments, so if someone doesn't read 'em, then we miss out.

Just don't ask me to do it.

Fortunately you don’t have to. This thread just keeps attracting new found @fit haters with that level of burning resentment necessary to trudge through all the shit and dig out the gems. Grizzled vets like us shouldn’t have to do that sort of heavy lifting. We have earned our stripes. It’s enough that we occasionally hit one of the park to keep the hate alive.

=D>

I'm old and grizzled, but I don't have the time in @F-hatin' grade you old chops do. I try to earn my keep by finding a nugget here or there simply by googling "crossfit + dumbass" (that's how I found the link of the mod screenshots) or anything to do with gin. Newbs should always start with the affiliate blog. Shitbaggery is only a click away.



PS The chick in the beige shirt has a nice rack.