The couch thread

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Thu May 22, 2008 5:56 pm

Grandpa's Spells wrote:
He was in [i wrote:The Crying Game [/i]
This thread needs Jackie's cleavage (and no other surprises).

GoDogGo! · Post by **GoDogGo!** » Thu May 22, 2008 8:11 pm

Grandpa's Spells wrote:
Banned wrote:Check out Jackie. She should be the new AlisonNYC.

Uh, yeah. He was in The Crying Game and Stargate.

the one in the green hoodie is a cutter.

The Real Rant · Post by **The Real Rant** » Wed May 28, 2008 4:44 pm

This has so much potential but will surely be met with stone silence.

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=32425

"Coach doing WOD

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi everybody,

I've collected so many great and well done CF-videos from the CF-homepage and they are such a great inspiration. But something is missing. Does anyone knows if there exist a video where COACH is doing one of the WODs. I don't want to sound respectless, because I appreciate all the work he is doing and has done very much. This is an honest question.

Best regards

russianbear26"

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Wed May 28, 2008 4:46 pm

Grandpa's Spells wrote:
Banned wrote:Check out Jackie. She should be the new AlisonNYC.

Uh, yeah. He was in The Crying Game and Stargate.

Damn good tranny joke.

I was working on something when that pic came out but nothing that good.

Bram · Post by **Bram** » Wed May 28, 2008 5:09 pm

In that picture, she looks a lil' like Anton:

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Thu May 29, 2008 1:21 am

Rant wrote:This has so much potential but will surely be met with stone silence.

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=32425

"Coach doing WOD

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi everybody,

I've collected so many great and well done CF-videos from the CF-homepage and they are such a great inspiration. But something is missing. Does anyone knows if there exist a video where COACH is doing one of the WODs. I don't want to sound respectless, because I appreciate all the work he is doing and has done very much. This is an honest question.

Best regards

russianbear26"

Correct. Had potential; petered out instantly.
The apologists threw water on that grass fire in record time. They should have done it for rounds.
I liked the comparison to Karoli and Ditka. Funny, both had competitive careers prior to coaching, wheras Cooch started as a, well, a coach. That and ignoring the fact that @fit is not a sport is amazing.

The Real Rant · Post by **The Real Rant** » Thu May 29, 2008 11:33 am

The comparison between Hooch and Ditka gives us a glimpse into the delusional mind of the @fitter. This proves my point that these are all a bunch of disgruntled dipshits that got shoved into lockers and got cut from all but the most obscure club sports. To compare an NFL coach with some cunt holding a clipboard is beyond contemptible. OK, so fitness is their sport. Do they even understand what fitness is? Haven’t they memorized the Crossfit Profession of Faith:” The CrossFit program is designed for universal scalability making it the perfect application for any committed individual regardless of experience. We’ve used our same routines for elderly individuals with heart disease and cage fighters one month out from televised bouts”. Football is a young man’s game and a coach is necessary to teach it and organize and execute a game plan. Fitness is something for everyone. It’s not an activity where you hang up the cleats after a certain age unless of course you throw in the towel in exchange for a bottle of ripple. How could these people seriously take fitness advice from a guy that is a heartbeat away from this:

Gary John · Post by **Gary John** » Thu May 29, 2008 12:16 pm

At a forum for master's track and field, two morons suggested x-fit for a guy who was going to be out to sea or some military thing. He is a sub-40 year old competing in masters.

That alone should give you pause. Anyway, I pissed on the idea.

I await the attacks.

Boris · Post by **Boris** » Thu May 29, 2008 2:21 pm

I think she's hot, but just throwing this out there:

Danny John · Post by **Danny John** » Thu May 29, 2008 3:21 pm

I always love the suggestion that coaches don't suit and play or whatever. I think it is possible to be an excellent coach and not "do," but it is very rare. When I coached football, there are skills you have to demonstrate and you also have to understand what problems the athletes are having. So, yes, I think you need to have played and "still play," at some level.

It could have been an excellent discussion. For example, with Brian Oldfield's surgery that went wrong, he now coaches from a wheelchair. But, there is no doubt he can help you throw farther. None. It's like that scene in "Pearl Harbor" where FDR gets up. You still see the fire in the belly...

It's funny that I was called out as not only being a clown and a coward, but I also, I found out, "have a bad squat."

But, I squat.

The Real Rant · Post by **The Real Rant** » Thu May 29, 2008 3:35 pm

Danny John wrote:I always love the suggestion that coaches don't suit and play or whatever. I think it is possible to be an excellent coach and not "do," but it is very rare. When I coached football, there are skills you have to demonstrate and you also have to understand what problems the athletes are having. So, yes, I think you need to have played and "still play," at some level.

It could have been an excellent discussion. For example, with Brian Oldfield's surgery that went wrong, he now coaches from a wheelchair. But, there is no doubt he can help you throw farther. None. It's like that scene in "Pearl Harbor" where FDR gets up. You still see the fire in the belly...

It's funny that I was called out as not only being a clown and a coward, but I also, I found out, "have a bad squat."

But, I squat.

What constitutes a “bad squat”?

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Thu May 29, 2008 3:41 pm

Rant wrote:
Danny John wrote:I always love the suggestion that coaches don't suit and play or whatever. I think it is possible to be an excellent coach and not "do," but it is very rare. When I coached football, there are skills you have to demonstrate and you also have to understand what problems the athletes are having. So, yes, I think you need to have played and "still play," at some level.

It could have been an excellent discussion. For example, with Brian Oldfield's surgery that went wrong, he now coaches from a wheelchair. But, there is no doubt he can help you throw farther. None. It's like that scene in "Pearl Harbor" where FDR gets up. You still see the fire in the belly...

It's funny that I was called out as not only being a clown and a coward, but I also, I found out, "have a bad squat."

But, I squat.

What constitutes a “bad squat”?

If it takes more than a couple minutes or requires reading material, it's a bad one. I think that's why Dan recommends fiber.

The Real Rant · Post by **The Real Rant** » Thu May 29, 2008 3:47 pm

That fact that a fitness coach is unfit and doesn’t seem to give a shit is absurd. It would be like having a yoga teacher that doesn’t do yoga…ever. These are essentially cradle to grave activities. These are lifestyle activities not sports. Instructors are supposed to be shining examples of this lifestyle. I can see being unable to do high reps deadlifts but to say that I don’t do any of the stuff that I advocate because I’m a cooch is lame.

Guiseppie · Post by **Guiseppie** » Thu May 29, 2008 3:52 pm

Danny John wrote:It's funny that I was called out as not only being a clown and a coward, but I also, I found out, "have a bad squat."

But, I squat.

I find that rather hypocritical, seeing as to how frequently you see them using giant balls to gauge squat depth (in people who should have been weened off of them long ago).

powerlifter54 · Post by **powerlifter54** » Thu May 29, 2008 5:37 pm

oskars_left_nut wrote:
Danny John wrote:It's funny that I was called out as not only being a clown and a coward, but I also, I found out, "have a bad squat."

But, I squat.
I find that rather hypocritical, seeing as to how frequently you see them using giant balls to gauge squat depth (in people who should have been weened off of them long ago).

Bravo.

RPC · Post by **RPC** » Fri May 30, 2008 1:40 pm

Everyone needs to go pay their respects to Couch today!!! Such a generous donation to the USMC of all the equipment. He's a real humanitarian. The video is quite the piece as well. Rage against the machine, grunts doing thrusters, and cooch referring to 9/11. Holy shit, this is/has truly jumped the shark.

We've got Wolfy, Everett, all sorts coming back in. Even a WOD video (080527) straight from the Couch's rancho in AZ.

Some awesomeness from the Comments today:

Comment #63 - Posted by: Greg Everett - Catalyst Athletics at May 29, 2008:

CFHQ is one of those mythical places that is packed so dense with experiences, creativity and passion that it transcends its location. I'm sad to see it go in the sense that I'll never be able to return to a place I loved so much, but I'm excited by what its dismantling signifies. I'm proud to be a part of of the CF community. Coach & Lauren - I love you guys and thank you for bringing me into the family.

Comment #46 - Posted by: bingo at May 29, 2008 7:20 PM:

I never visited CFHQ, and I am a lesser man for that...For in my mind the simple fact that I was invited to sit at the CF table,....

Yes come sit at his table all true believers!

RPC - Out!

MonkeyJesus · Post by **MonkeyJesus** » Fri May 30, 2008 1:59 pm

So fill us in on the story on crossfit HQ. The 5 miles of grab-ass comments is to much for one undertaking.

Gary John · Post by **Gary John** » Fri May 30, 2008 3:30 pm

It was a little fucking place, maybe 2,500 sq.ft. and a loft. Probably a print shop or something at one time. Use see these little condo type business places all over.

When I went there, I was really shocked how small it was. Dan taught a free oly class and then Glasshole and his smurfs took us to lunch. Nice people. Glasshole was madly in love with Dan at the time.

The Real Rant · Post by **The Real Rant** » Fri May 30, 2008 4:39 pm

Rant wrote:This has so much potential but will surely be met with stone silence.

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=32425

"Coach doing WOD

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi everybody,

I've collected so many great and well done CF-videos from the CF-homepage and they are such a great inspiration. But something is missing. Does anyone knows if there exist a video where COACH is doing one of the WODs. I don't want to sound respectless, because I appreciate all the work he is doing and has done very much. This is an honest question.

Best regards

russianbear26"

Naturally the thread was closed with the admonition to pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Fri May 30, 2008 4:45 pm

Danny John wrote:I always love the suggestion that coaches don't suit and play or whatever. I think it is possible to be an excellent coach and not "do," but it is very rare. When I coached football, there are skills you have to demonstrate and you also have to understand what problems the athletes are having. So, yes, I think you need to have played and "still play," at some level.

It could have been an excellent discussion. For example, with Brian Oldfield's surgery that went wrong, he now coaches from a wheelchair. But, there is no doubt he can help you throw farther. None. It's like that scene in "Pearl Harbor" where FDR gets up. You still see the fire in the belly...

It's funny that I was called out as not only being a clown and a coward, but I also, I found out, "have a bad squat."

But, I squat.

To spare the expense of searching the unsearchable thread for the story, I'll give the Reader's Digest version.
I made a comment on the CF mainpage one day about a picture of DJ being assisted by Eva T. in (what looked like) an overhead squat move. My comment was something to the effect of, "I have dreamt of Eva T. helping me with my squat, but it did not include Dan John." I also said something to the effect of "I miss what Dan brought to this community."
That prompted an e-mail from Herr Glassman asking me to call him.
I did.
The ensuing conversation rehashed the entire, "T-Bag slandered us, DJ didn't defend us, DJ lacks credibility and is a coward, "300," Twight is a ripoff" the whole 9 yards. I listened and believed for a while. Then this came up: "Dan John has no squat." GG basically said that because Dan used lifting shoes with a higher heel, that he essentially had no squat.
Again, I listened and believed for a while until the craziness got worse. Then, after having so many doubts, I called Dan (at his invitation) and got his side of the story.
Needless to say, I found Dan much more credible (and well grounded).
So, to sum; Dan not only has a squat, he knows squat as well.

Sassenach · Post by **Sassenach** » Fri May 30, 2008 4:48 pm

Banned wrote: To spare the expense of searching the unsearchable thread for the story, I'll give the Reader's Digest version.
I made a comment on the CF mainpage one day about a picture of DJ being assisted by Eva T. in (what looked like) an overhead squat move. My comment was something to the effect of, "I have dreamt of Eva T. helping me with my squat, but it did not include Dan John." I also said something to the effect of "I miss what Dan brought to this community."
That prompted an e-mail from Herr Glassman asking me to call him.
I did.
The ensuing conversation rehashed the entire, "T-Bag slandered us, DJ didn't defend us, DJ lacks credibility and is a coward, "300," Twight is a ripoff" the whole 9 yards. I listened and believed for a while. Then this came up: "Dan John has no squat." GG basically said that because Dan used lifting shoes with a higher heel, that he essentially had no squat.
Again, I listened and believed for a while until the craziness got worse. Then, after having so many doubts, I called Dan (at his invitation) and got his side of the story.
Needless to say, I found Dan much more credible (and well grounded).
So, to sum; Dan not only has a squat, he knows squat as well.

Wow.

Freki · Post by **Freki** » Fri May 30, 2008 4:57 pm

But is it a tactical squat?

Gary John · Post by **Gary John** » Fri May 30, 2008 5:05 pm

This is like an endless thread, it will go back 50 pages and we have to repeat part of the saga.

Main problem, Dan, being the big dummy he is, gives his stuff away.
The way he teaches the oly lifts, you can have everybody do them in a couple of hours.

Glasshole likes to try and throw in as much confusion as possible.
He then, turns around and sells certs and affiliate fees. Man is making the money.

He needs to believe his own bullshit, which he does. The T-nation article was this long ass thing, that TC wrote. 6 lousy lines about x-fit in the whole thing.

It is all about the money.

RPC · Post by **RPC** » Fri May 30, 2008 5:22 pm

The T-nation article was this long ass thing, that TC wrote. 6 lousy lines about x-fit in the whole thing.

Gary - Which article was it that TC wrote?

Speaking of money...

The newly reorganized certifications, which aren't recognized by a soul outside of CF BTW, include the following:

Level 1 - 1000.00
Level 2 (Level 1 prerequisite) - 1000.00
Level 3 (Level 1 & 2 prerequisite) - costing nothing except for attendence of five specialty certifications (at 600.00 a pop):

Basic Barbell with Mark Rippetoe
Olympic Lifting with Mike Burgener
Kettlebell Basics with Jeff Martone
Running and Endurance with Brian MacKenzie and Mike Collins
Gymnastics with Roger Harrell
Nutrition with Robb Wolf
CrossFit Kids Certification with Jeff and Mikki Martin
Triathlon with Mike Collins

There's also newly added a "Media Certification" with Tony B. as well as a five day business certification for the low low price of 5000.00.

There's a rumble amongst affiliates that Level 1 & 2 (and maybe 3) may soon be required to affiliate (which is a 1000.00 annual now too).

RPC - Out!

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Fri May 30, 2008 6:52 pm

What ever happened to the buddy lee cert?

IGX

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