The couch thread

Dave · Post by **Dave** » Fri May 30, 2008 7:00 pm

Rosco P Coltrane wrote:
The T-nation article was this long ass thing, that TC wrote. 6 lousy lines about x-fit in the whole thing.

Gary - Which article was it that TC wrote?

Speaking of money...

The newly reorganized certifications, which aren't recognized by a soul outside of CF BTW, include the following:

Level 1 - 1000.00
Level 2 (Level 1 prerequisite) - 1000.00
Level 3 (Level 1 & 2 prerequisite) - costing nothing except for attendence of five specialty certifications (at 600.00 a pop):

Basic Barbell with Mark Rippetoe
Olympic Lifting with Mike Burgener
Kettlebell Basics with Jeff Martone
Running and Endurance with Brian MacKenzie and Mike Collins
Gymnastics with Roger Harrell
Nutrition with Robb Wolf
CrossFit Kids Certification with Jeff and Mikki Martin
Triathlon with Mike Collins

There's also newly added a "Media Certification" with Tony B. as well as a five day business certification for the low low price of 5000.00.

There's a rumble amongst affiliates that Level 1 & 2 (and maybe 3) may soon be required to affiliate (which is a 1000.00 annual now too).

RCP - Out!

It is my understanding that as of Jan 2008 you have to be at least a Level 1 to be an affiliate.

RPC · Post by **RPC** » Fri May 30, 2008 7:13 pm

It is my understanding that as of Jan 2008 you have to be at least a Level 1 to be an affiliate.

Correct. Previously they gave you 1 year within affiliating to obtain your Level 1. Now you must obtain the Level 1 prior to affiliating.

What ever happened to the buddy lee cert?

Not sure. I'd love to know. Lots and lots of complaining on the boards, including from affiliates, about the absurdity of it. So maybe the idea got nixed. Couch came on the affiliate boards praising Buddy Lee, the importance of jump roping (WTF?), etc. but alas the cert quitely disappeared.

The quality of Buddy Lee products was also brought about as well...

RPC - Out!

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Fri May 30, 2008 7:16 pm

My Buddy Lee doo-rag not only had the wrong number of stripes, but it fell apart after only 25 double-unders.

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Fri May 30, 2008 7:47 pm

Banned wrote:My Buddy Lee doo-rag not only had the wrong number of stripes, but it fell apart after only 25 double-unders.

Lesson: Don't source your American Flag do-rags from China.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Fri May 30, 2008 8:05 pm

It remains all about the money.

The comment section is a rich source of belly laughs, if that's the kind of shit that gets you going.

I still like looking at deadlift day, and scanning for 700/600/500 lb deadlifts. 500s rarely make an appearance, and when it's 575@165 I'm extremely skeptical.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Fri May 30, 2008 8:58 pm

Shaf wrote:It remains all about the money.

The comment section is a rich source of belly laughs, if that's the kind of shit that gets you going.

I still like looking at deadlift day, and scanning for 700/600/500 lb deadlifts. 500s rarely make an appearance, and when it's 575@165 I'm extremely skeptical.

I'm partial to the 400 plus pound no belt, no shoes, no shirt, squats from guys in the same weight class.

I know of exactly one crossfit total held at a local affilaite where one guy squatted more than 4 plates.

RPC · Post by **RPC** » Fri May 30, 2008 9:40 pm

Shaf wrote:It remains all about the money.

The comment section is a rich source of belly laughs, if that's the kind of shit that gets you going.

I still like looking at deadlift day, and scanning for 700/600/500 lb deadlifts. 500s rarely make an appearance, and when it's 575@165 I'm extremely skeptical.

They've got a couple creeping towards 500. One monster they've recruited John Welbourn is currently sporting a 600 DL:

http://games.crossfit.com/athlete-profi ... bourn.html

Of course Cooch shit a brick when someone mentioned that he was also booted from the NFL for violating the Vitamin S policy. Exactly how many blocks would that be on their little Zone chart?

RPC - Out!

Gary John · Post by **Gary John** » Fri May 30, 2008 10:15 pm

So first off, here is the offending bit from the T-nation article

Oh yeah, and screw Crossfit and their like. What, you have so little imagination that you need a website for housewives and pampered stockbrokers to give you your daily, completely arbitrary workout?

Friday's workout:

Run 400 meters

Do 20 push-ups

Dance like a cast member of the Broadway musical Cats for 15 minutes

Now, if you are bored, this the whole fucking article:

http://www.t-nation.com/article/atomic_ ... _mofos&cr=

Which starts with Spiderman of all things. Funny, I forgot how little this part was. Somehow, Dan, who doesn't even know when his own articles are going to be posted, needed to defend the honor and balls of Glasshole.......

And thanks for the new cert list. What I've been saying.

Sassenach · Post by **Sassenach** » Fri May 30, 2008 10:44 pm

TC has some funny stuff now and then.

For the most part, stereotypical competitive bodybuilders can't run, can't play hoops, can't even unsnap a date's bra without pulling something. And if they attempt to do some remotely explosive movement, like trying to catch a soup can that was hurled at their head? Why, they'd cleave muscle from bone. Better to let that soup can hit them in the head and see birdies.

nafod · Post by **nafod** » Fri May 30, 2008 11:15 pm

Rosco P Coltrane wrote:Level 1 - 1000.00
Level 2 (Level 1 prerequisite) - 1000.00
Level 3 (Level 1 & 2 prerequisite) - costing nothing except for attendence of five specialty certifications (at 600.00 a pop):

You can't really learn ANYTHING in one weekend. I could see a cert truly being a certification, i.e., you come in knowing the material, and are tested on it over the course of the weekend to certify your knowledge. But I am pretty sure that is not what's going on. People come in cold, learn the stuff at the "cert", and then get qualed to teach it.

Goes for KB certs too. And jumpropes.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Fri May 30, 2008 11:24 pm

I think I have a crush on Roscoe.

Old School Crossfit Heresy is awesome, and I can't bring myself to bother with it anymore.

steelydan · Post by **steelydan** » Sat May 31, 2008 12:47 am

nafod wrote:
You can't really learn ANYTHING in one weekend.

I like the idea of being certified in gymnastics after one weekend.

Also, I'm deeply bothered by the CrossFit Kids thing. It just seems fundamentally wrong.

nafod · Post by **nafod** » Sat May 31, 2008 1:42 pm

steelydan wrote:
nafod wrote:
You can't really learn ANYTHING in one weekend.
I like the idea of being certified in gymnastics after one weekend.

Also, I'm deeply bothered by the CrossFit Kids thing. It just seems fundamentally wrong.

I took a climbing self-rescue course a bunch of years ago, which now costs $425 for 3 days of intensive instruction by a certified instructor for a team of two. 1 instructor and 2 students. In no way was I qualified to teach it to others. It made me a beginner. Also saved my life, but that's another story.

http://www.seneca-rocks.com/website/article.asp?id=6

These fitness certs are a joke.

The Real Rant · Post by **The Real Rant** » Sat May 31, 2008 10:11 pm

Gary John wrote: Dance like a cast member of the Broadway musical Cats for 15 minutes

=D>

___________ · Post by **___________** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:50 pm

Funny.
They did the CFT the other day.
1000 lb. club was considered "you are pretty damned good".
Funny, with a 700 lb. deadlift, the 1000 total should be a can't miss.
Funnier, the local high school teams have 1000 lb. totals on dead, squat, bench, a little different, but not sucah a huge deal.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:13 am

get a load of the new tranny...or is that buddy lee?

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:54 am

MarcoFP wrote:Funny.
They did the CFT the other day.
1000 lb. club was considered "you are pretty damned good".
Funny, with a 700 lb. deadlift, the 1000 total should be a can't miss.
Funnier, the local high school teams have 1000 lb. totals on dead, squat, bench, a little different, but not sucah a huge deal.

That is pretty fucking funny.

I haven't touched a weight in two months and I can almost guarantee that I can hit 1,000 without trying too hard.

Gawddamn I fucking hate Xfit.

It's just not healthy to hate something so much.

But it helped me to see the light so it's been a good kind of hate.

Mickey O'neil · Post by **Mickey O'neil** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 11:32 am

Jim Glover wrote:
MarcoFP wrote:Funny.
They did the CFT the other day.
1000 lb. club was considered "you are pretty damned good".
Funny, with a 700 lb. deadlift, the 1000 total should be a can't miss.
Funnier, the local high school teams have 1000 lb. totals on dead, squat, bench, a little different, but not sucah a huge deal.
That is pretty fucking funny.

I haven't touched a weight in two months and I can almost guarantee that I can hit 1,000 without trying too hard.

Gawddamn I fucking hate Xfit.

It's just not healthy to hate something so much.

But it helped me to see the light so it's been a good kind of hate.

lol! Nice Jim. =D>

mr. snrub · Post by **mr. snrub** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 12:58 pm

Gary John · Post by **Gary John** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:10 pm

Hope we realize, that we are pissing into the wind. At a site, not to be named, guy wants advice for throwing the braemer in HGs. Pipes right up that he already does x-fit. I avoided replying.

I just enjoy the hate. It is fun to roll around in it.

When I was in high school, there were guys who like the Beatles. No cure for that.
Still nice to see when one of them dies. Or gets hosed by a stump lady.

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:29 pm

Gary John wrote:Hope we realize, that we are pissing into the wind. At a site, not to be named, guy wants advice for throwing the braemer in HGs. Pipes right up that he already does x-fit. I avoided replying.

I just enjoy the hate. It is fun to roll around in it.

When I was in high school, there were guys who like the Beatles. No cure for that.
Still nice to see when one of them dies. Or gets hosed by a stump lady.

Brought a tear to my eye.

You should right greeting cards.

RPC · Post by **RPC** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:47 pm

Gary John wrote:Hope we realize, that we are pissing into the wind. At a site, not to be named, guy wants advice for throwing the braemer in HGs. Pipes right up that he already does x-fit. I avoided replying.

I just enjoy the hate. It is fun to roll around in it.

When I was in high school, there were guys who like the Beatles. No cure for that.
Still nice to see when one of them dies. Or gets hosed by a stump lady.

Advise for throwing the hammer? That's easy, "just do crossfit."
Advise for swimming? That's easy, "just do crossfit."
Advise for ... you get the point.

Can't believe people would even suspect that there's a better protocol out there! Just do the WODs you simpletons, couch will lead the way!

And that picture today looks like a photo-negative of Eva T or something.

RPC - Out!

Shapecharge · Post by **Shapecharge** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:53 pm

Alright I had to go to their site and take a look at the black chick...hopefully someone told her she needs a shave.

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 2:15 pm

Shapecharge wrote:Alright I had to go to their site and take a look at the black chick...hopefully someone told her she needs a shave.

If she's the same person I'm thinking about, she's a S&C coach at UCI. She's tight with Josh Everett and the fringe @fitters.

I was sorry to see that the @fit games are sold out to competitors. We haven't even had time to secure the spaceships for the trip. I think they were scared and closed the registration before we could get in. Cowards.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 2:55 pm

If you want a visual representation of what a small dose of AAS can do to a woman, check out that black lady. I'm not saying she's using, I'm just saying that she looks very much like a female on a low dose of winny or anavar.

The real tell-tale is that delt, trap, and bicep development is off the hook. Women get a super bump in those areas while using because there is a tendency for those areas to be high in androgen receptors which never get stimulated.

Compare to Marion Jones.

It's ironic that in the previous blog they talk about "Drugstore Athlete"

IGX

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