I see what you did there. At least you can put aside your anger and petty frustrations and focus on the important things.Rant wrote:Bump
The couch thread
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Re: The couch thread
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Re: The couch thread
Fuck 'small sample'... I know regular expressions, bitchos.
Here's the results of scanning for 3 digit numbers beginning with 4, 5, 6, and 7. I cleaned up some of the 4xx results so that you all don't have to read comments like:
'Too tired from sucking 423 cocks last night (PR), deadlifted 5x1x115 (also a PR)'
Oh, and no-one is DL'ing anything with the strings 'kg' and '2[0-9][0-9]' either. So it's not like Xfit has a bunch of metric studs.
So aside from one dude who posted a video of himself doing 506@189 b/w on a prior occasion (which is respectable, but not exactly what you'd hope to see from the 'best of 200 posters', they don't have anyone pulling over 500 today. So much for coaches' 'asymptotes' - you know, the Inevitable Progress Towards 700 DL.
Here's the results of scanning for 3 digit numbers beginning with 4, 5, 6, and 7. I cleaned up some of the 4xx results so that you all don't have to read comments like:
'Too tired from sucking 423 cocks last night (PR), deadlifted 5x1x115 (also a PR)'
Code: Select all
$ egrep '4[0-9][0-9]' xfuckdl.txt
410
420 PR
425 F
410
Did Friday 6th..335 355 385 425 445(old pr) 450pr 455pr
Still smoked from DL comp a few days ago. Pulled 375-405-430miss
405/415/425/435/405/405/405
355-365-375-385-395-405-410f
405 (fail)
405
425
435 x 1 x 2
445 x 1 x 2
Then followed up with 3x1 DL @ 405
405
425PR
435
405
405
315 - 365 - 385 - 405 - 425 - 435(Tied PR) - 440(f)
400 PR
405 F
405 (Fail)
405 (Fail)
315,315,335,345,365,385,410x1
5 -- 405
6 -- 410 (for PR, & fail) then 405
7 -- 405 (fail)
400 (PR)
400 (not full extension)
315-365-385-405-415-420-425...grip is going to be the limiting factor in the fuure i can tell
5 sets of 1 at 450lbs
400
435
455
465
470 (PR)
$ egrep '5[0-9][0-9]' xfuckdl.txt
@ 7500'
My 506 lbs x 2 attempt on 1/4/09 (WFS):
going for 550 today...
$ egrep '6[0-9][0-9]' xfuckdl.txt
$ egrep '7[0-9][0-9]' xfuckdl.txt
So aside from one dude who posted a video of himself doing 506@189 b/w on a prior occasion (which is respectable, but not exactly what you'd hope to see from the 'best of 200 posters', they don't have anyone pulling over 500 today. So much for coaches' 'asymptotes' - you know, the Inevitable Progress Towards 700 DL.
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Re: The couch thread
That fucking gin obsessed Couch can suck Rant's balls while @ does the pitching.
Fucking fuck, headed towards 700.
Fucking fuck, headed towards 700.
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Re: The couch thread

From today's CF main page comments. No shit.
14:28 m/25/205/6'0
-subbed squat cleans with hang squat cleans
Ok I have a serious question and I am in no way trying to be inappropriate. But I have noticed for the past month or so that during intense workouts my penis gets REALLY small and hard. It's beginning to freak me out.
I am being COMPLETELY serious and appreciate any feedback that someone can give me. I'm here in Iraq and the people at the TMC more than likely will not understand the type of program that I am engaging in and will likely just tell me to stop doing it.
Again any help from the crossfit community would be appreciated. Thanks guys.
Comment #152 - Posted by: SouljaBoy at February 11, 2009 5:34 AM
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Re: The couch thread
*****
Last edited by ___________ on Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The couch thread
He should stop working out directly behind fellow squids.Gin Master wrote:![]()
From today's CF main page comments. No shit.
14:28 m/25/205/6'0
-subbed squat cleans with hang squat cleans
Ok I have a serious question and I am in no way trying to be inappropriate. But I have noticed for the past month or so that during intense workouts my penis gets REALLY small and hard. It's beginning to freak me out.
I am being COMPLETELY serious and appreciate any feedback that someone can give me. I'm here in Iraq and the people at the TMC more than likely will not understand the type of program that I am engaging in and will likely just tell me to stop doing it.
Again any help from the crossfit community would be appreciated. Thanks guys.
Comment #152 - Posted by: SouljaBoy at February 11, 2009 5:34 AM
"Liberalism is arbitrarily selective in its choice of whose dignity to champion." Adrian Vermeule
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Re: The couch thread
That says it all right there.SouljaBoy
In Obama's military, is it going to be "don't ask, I'll tell you for no good reason I want to fuck your ass, Sergeant?"
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Re: The couch thread
MarcoFP wrote:Jesus weeps for these faggotz.Gin Master wrote:![]()
From today's CF main page comments. No shit.
14:28 m/25/205/6'0
-subbed squat cleans with hang squat cleans
Ok I have a serious question and I am in no way trying to be inappropriate. But I have noticed for the past month or so that during intense workouts my penis gets REALLY small and hard. It's beginning to freak me out.
I am being COMPLETELY serious and appreciate any feedback that someone can give me. I'm here in Iraq and the people at the TMC more than likely will not understand the type of program that I am engaging in and will likely just tell me to stop doing it.
Again any help from the crossfit community would be appreciated. Thanks guys.
Comment #152 - Posted by: SouljaBoy at February 11, 2009 5:34 AM
fuck that, he's laughin' his ass off at them
*******************
Hey, you're not fun, you're fat!
Hey, you're not fun, you're fat!
Re: The couch thread
Hey, as funny as this sounds, crossfit induced micro penis is a serious condition and should not be taken lightly.
http://www.healthsystem.virginia.edu/uv ... rpenis.cfm
http://www.healthsystem.virginia.edu/uv ... rpenis.cfm
"Anonymous. Because none of us are as cruel as all of us."
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Re: The couch thread
That is unfuckingbelievable.MarcoFP wrote:Jesus weeps for these faggotz.Gin Master wrote:![]()
From today's CF main page comments. No shit.
14:28 m/25/205/6'0
-subbed squat cleans with hang squat cleans
Ok I have a serious question and I am in no way trying to be inappropriate. But I have noticed for the past month or so that during intense workouts my penis gets REALLY small and hard. It's beginning to freak me out.
I am being COMPLETELY serious and appreciate any feedback that someone can give me. I'm here in Iraq and the people at the TMC more than likely will not understand the type of program that I am engaging in and will likely just tell me to stop doing it.
Again any help from the crossfit community would be appreciated. Thanks guys.
Comment #152 - Posted by: SouljaBoy at February 11, 2009 5:34 AM
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Re: The couch thread
sounds to me like the guy is having a bit of fun. one can only imagine the number of homoerotic waxed boys who get a micro-stiffie thinking about x-fit dudelettes.
Really Big Strong Guy: There are a plethora of psychopaths among us.
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Re: The couch thread
1. Which of you is Soljaboy?
2. Look for the first @fit Strongfortism Cert, coming soon!
2. Look for the first @fit Strongfortism Cert, coming soon!

WGM wrote:Fall off a chinup bar, drop a barbell on your head, or piss yourself at the bottom of a squat and the Internet will never forget you.
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Re: The couch thread
That's one smart troll. By claiming to be in the military, in Iraq, and following the @fit protocol; he's guaranteed that the @fit fags and Cooch can't go negative on him right a way. He's also fishing, it's a given that the "mentally challenged" @fit crew will chime in right away, but the longer he holds out with a somewhat reasonable demeanor he might just flush out one of the higher up @fit crew. Then the fun will begin.Sofa King wrote:1. Which of you is Soljaboy?
2. Look for the first @fit Strongfortism Cert, coming soon!
Arms are the only true badge of liberty. The possession of arms is the distinction of the free man from the slave.
I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.

I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.

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Re: The couch thread
I guarantee LynnE will answer "don't worry, it happens all the time to me".Batboy2/75 wrote:That's one smart troll. By claiming to be in the military, in Iraq, and following the @fit protocol; he's guaranteed that the @fit fags and Cooch can't go negative on him right a way. He's also fishing, it's a given that the "mentally challenged" @fit crew will chime in right away, but the longer he holds out with a somewhat reasonable demeanor he might just flush out one of the higher up @fit crew. Then the fun will begin.Sofa King wrote:1. Which of you is Soljaboy?
2. Look for the first @fit Strongfortism Cert, coming soon!
Barky/TitsNYC will offer to blow him to see if that helps.
Females who wear heels emulate the gait patterns of wounded and/or compromised prey and thus inspire males to heights of predatorial chasse-a-tude. - Robb Wolf
Re: The couch thread
Good damn analysis. I really hope this is exactly what happens. =D>Batboy2/75 wrote:Sofa King wrote:That's one smart troll. By claiming to be in the military, in Iraq, and following the @fit protocol; he's guaranteed that the @fit fags and Cooch can't go negative on him right a way. He's also fishing, it's a given that the "mentally challenged" @fit crew will chime in right away, but the longer he holds out with a somewhat reasonable demeanor he might just flush out one of the higher up @fit crew. Then the fun will begin.

Re: The couch thread
Gin Master wrote:14:28 m/25/205/6'0
-subbed squat cleans with hang squat cleans
Ok I have a serious question and I am in no way trying to be inappropriate. But I have noticed for the past month or so that during intense workouts my penis gets REALLY small and hard. It's beginning to freak me out.
I am being COMPLETELY serious and appreciate any feedback that someone can give me. I'm here in Iraq and the people at the TMC more than likely will not understand the type of program that I am engaging in and will likely just tell me to stop doing it.
Again any help from the crossfit community would be appreciated. Thanks guys.
Comment #152 - Posted by: SouljaBoy at February 11, 2009 5:34 AM
They removed it, unfortunately. Now that they assume it was a troll, we should start asking, "What happened to that guy's penis the other day?" and saying shit like, "I think he blew his WOD, dude!" If someone can find "smiley" replacements that look like tribal tattoos and itty bitty titty jobs so that we could include those in our trolling, please do so ASAP.
Re: The couch thread
I just wanted to document my first troll attempt.
I'm new to CrossFit, and I'm kind of sad that my first day is a "Rest" day. But tomorrow it's 3...2...1...go!
Good job on yesterday's Workout of the Day, everybody. What ever happened to that guy's penis?!
Comment #46 - Posted by: Cosh Garmier at February 11, 2009 9:50 PM
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Re: The couch thread
You don't think they lurk here and you get caught as a troll immediately? Look at the fuckin' read count of this thread.

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Re: The couch thread
Jake,
You have to remember that couch has an account here and is subscribed to the thread. He get's a audio cue whenever a new post is made to it for his iphone.
Now you know.
It's ok. Everyone fumbles a bit with lube, false starts, and shit before they get it in all the way.
You have to remember that couch has an account here and is subscribed to the thread. He get's a audio cue whenever a new post is made to it for his iphone.
Now you know.
It's ok. Everyone fumbles a bit with lube, false starts, and shit before they get it in all the way.
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Re: The couch thread
This also explains his increasing drug & alcohol problem.The Shafpocalypse wrote:Jake,
You have to remember that couch has an account here and is subscribed to the thread. He get's a audio cue whenever a new post is made to it for his iphone.

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Re: The couch thread
The iphone also chimes when it's time for a gin and tonic with oreos on the side.
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Re: The couch thread
It must chime constantly then.The Shafpocalypse wrote:The iphone also chimes when it's time for a gin and tonic with oreos on the side.
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Re: The couch thread
And when his phone goes off and he takes a nip of gin. He has turned @F hate into personal gain. Dammit, Couch has beat us again!Ice Nigger wrote:This also explains his increasing drug & alcohol problem.The Shafpocalypse wrote:Jake,
You have to remember that couch has an account here and is subscribed to the thread. He get's a audio cue whenever a new post is made to it for his iphone.
Re: The couch thread
Did Cooch ever interact with people on this forum? I wish he spoke up more online; this thread would be 300 or 400 pages long by now.
Re: The couch thread
Xfit for five-month olds:
](https://www.irongarmx.net/phpbbdev/images/smilies/eusa_wall.gif)
Eating for two, let's go on calorie restricted diet? Someone was nice enough to recommend the Anabolic Diet to her.Here's a question for anyone who can help:
I've been Zoning now for about a week and a half and I am TIRED, hungry, not recovering well from workouts, and kinda bitchy too. Not what I expected and not so fun, either. I've been doing 13 blocks (I'm 5'0", 113 lbs, but am also nursing my 5 month old so I guessed on how many blocks I need). What am I doing wrong? HELP please!!! Thank you!!!
Comment #11 - Posted by: Jen T at February 11, 2009 7:18 PM
](https://www.irongarmx.net/phpbbdev/images/smilies/eusa_wall.gif)
A novice is someone who keeps asking himself if he is a novice. An intermediate is someone who is sick of training with weak people and an advanced person doesn't give a shit anymore. - Jim Wendler