The couch thread

Topics without replies are pruned every 365 days. Not moderated.

Moderator: Dux


Shapecharge
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 8498
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2005 11:59 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Shapecharge »

Couch wrote:
wtfmate wrote:
coop wrote:WTFMATE-

Someone already asked but can you post some of the alleged emails that you're getting after the banning?
I've made enough enemies. I'd like to keep the few friends I still have by not posting what they have commented on, regardless whether I censor their name out or not. Some of the conversations were with current CF affiliates and well how they run their business and who they affiliate with is their thing, I'm not going to start a CF war between them and their HQ. That is up to them.

On the topic of gin, I do hope that if GG drinks it in quanity, it is of high caliber.


Tsk, tsk, *belch*,tsk.
As a self proclaimed expert in the "white liquors" I highly recommend Hendrick's, Boodles, Tang 10, and Bombay Sapphire, not necessarily in that order.

User avatar

Fat Cat
Jesus Christ®
Posts: 40920
Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 4:54 pm
Location: 悪を根付かせるな

Re: The couch thread

Post by Fat Cat »

Gin tastes like vomit at Christmastime.
Image
"That rifle on the wall of the labourer's cottage or working class flat is the symbol of democracy.
It is our job to see that it stays there." - George Orwell

User avatar

odin
Sgt. Major
Posts: 3127
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 10:20 am

Re: The couch thread

Post by odin »

Gnome of Death wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:
wtfmate wrote:
coop wrote:
I did find the part about the doing deadlifts until they puke very amusing. I've never puked from deadlifting too much...but this video is pretty darn full of awesome as far as puking and deadlifting goes: http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... peWODs.wmv

This girl has some range on that vomit. She's obviously getting some great training at that point!

More like Death By Boredom.
That is just fucking stupid, dumbass, asinine training. Makes no sense whatsoever.

They're both fire-fighters - perhaps I should be doing this too? It seems like it would prepare me very well for rescuing 4000 80lb casulaties from a knee-deep flood.


This ties in with something (almost) sensible I've been thinking about re xfit. As a fire-fighter, I am one of the people they claim to cater to (I am so fecking tactical I can sometimes see my wife looking at me thinking, 'whoah, you are truly awesome - I'm a lucky girl').

Whether through marketing, false machismo or ignorance, I've heard it claimed a few times over there that I need a high level of anaerobic fitness and general work capacity to equip me for the unexpected rigours of fire-fighting. Truthfully though, what I need most to be better at my job is specific training, experience and operational knowledge. The best lads I work with have all these 3 in abundance, and quite honestly I can't see how time invested in achieving a 4 minute fran would improve their abilities. True enough, most of us keep 'fit', but it doesn't really matter whether your chosen method is pumping the gunz, walking up hills or swinging achyballz - the other 3 things I mentioned are what's going to make or break your ability. I dare say the same is probably true in the armed forces. Specificity. The reason crossfit shun this is because 'generalist' is easier to say when you've drunk 3 litres of gin.
Don't try too hard, don't not try too hard

User avatar

odin
Sgt. Major
Posts: 3127
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 10:20 am

Re: The couch thread

Post by odin »

so good I said it twice.
Don't try too hard, don't not try too hard


JamesonBushmill
Staff Sergeant
Posts: 441
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:07 pm
Location: Balanced precariously on the end of Eva's Clit

Re: The couch thread

Post by JamesonBushmill »

Couch wrote:(Transcript of actual conversation)
Doc: Many of my patients shouldn’t be doing the deadlift.
Coach: Which ones are those, Doc?
Doc: Many are elderly, marginally ambulatory, and frail/feeble and osteoporotic.
Coach: Doc, would you let such a patient, let’s say an old woman, walk to the store to get cat food?
Doc: Sure, If the walk weren’t too far, I’d endorse it.
Coach: All right, suppose after walking home she came up to the front door and realized that her keys were in her pocket. Is she medically cleared to set the bag down, get her keys out of her pocket, unlock the door, pick the bag back up, and go in?
Doc: Of course, that’s essential activity
Coach: As I see it the only difference between us is that I want to show her how to do this “essential activity” safely and soundly and you don’t.
Doc: I see where you’re going. Good point.
Coach: Doc, we haven’t scratched the surface.
DOC: What i wouldn't do is make her perform these movements until she had a stroke and then post a mocking video of children doing these same movements in a workout named after her. but what do i know, i only went to medical school.
Females who wear heels emulate the gait patterns of wounded and/or compromised prey and thus inspire males to heights of predatorial chasse-a-tude. - Robb Wolf


wtfmate

Re: The couch thread

Post by wtfmate »

Charismatic megafauna wrote:
wtfmate wrote:
Charismatic megafauna wrote:weren't you two requested to enjoy the company of each others cocks somewhere offline?

plz keep to the @fit bashing.
Weren't you supposed to get anal from a midget?
you'll have to do better flyboy. all you wispy @fit cuntz are midgets on this end of the internets.

hell, we've got a chain smoking old man here who will, in the parlance of our times, fold you up like an 8th grade love note.

(credztoshape)
You are all welcome to try anytime to do so. You will be very disappointed in your inability to do it, and in the great ability of my .357 magnum to put a hole large enough in people to make the Gay Doughboy clap with glee at the sight of one more entry and exit point on the body.

But seriously, that was a completely idiotic reply on your part. 1337$|>34|< went out of style about 10 years ago. Keep it on point.


Blaidd Drwg
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 19098
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:39 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Blaidd Drwg »

Mario, can we look into automatic pink triangle avatars for all the slapdick @fitters showing up?

would save some time and clarify the campers from the cornfed.
"He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that." JS Mill


***
Anal CumDumpster
Posts: 2912
Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:57 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by *** »

JamesonBushmill wrote:
Couch wrote:(Transcript of actual conversation)
Doc: Many of my patients shouldn’t be doing the deadlift.
Coach: Which ones are those, Doc?
Doc: Many are elderly, marginally ambulatory, and frail/feeble and osteoporotic.
Coach: Doc, would you let such a patient, let’s say an old woman, walk to the store to get cat food?
Doc: Sure, If the walk weren’t too far, I’d endorse it.
Coach: All right, suppose after walking home she came up to the front door and realized that her keys were in her pocket. Is she medically cleared to set the bag down, get her keys out of her pocket, unlock the door, pick the bag back up, and go in?
Doc: Of course, that’s essential activity
Coach: As I see it the only difference between us is that I want to show her how to do this “essential activity” safely and soundly and you don’t.
Doc: I see where you’re going. Good point.
Coach: Doc, we haven’t scratched the surface.
DOC: What i wouldn't do is make her perform these movements until she had a stroke and then post a mocking video of children doing these same movements in a workout named after her. but what do i know, i only went to medical school.
Couch: We offer seminars, trainer certifications, and training and regularly provide consultation services to athletic teams, couches, and police and military agencies throughout the free world.


***
Anal CumDumpster
Posts: 2912
Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:57 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by *** »

Image

User avatar

GoDogGo!
IGX Honorary Lesbian
Posts: 11208
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2005 1:10 am
Location: Casa de Culo

Re: The couch thread

Post by GoDogGo! »

Couch wrote: Couch: We offer seminars, trainer certifications, and training and regularly provide consultation services to athletic teams, couches, and police and military agencies throughout the free world.
You should market to North Korea. That's where the money is.
The flesh is weak, and the smell of pussy is strong like a muthafucka.

User avatar

Sofa King
Top
Posts: 2346
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 3:33 pm
Location: Loge 139, row k, seat 1
Contact:

Re: The couch thread

Post by Sofa King »

I nominate Couch as best new poster of 2009.
WGM wrote:Fall off a chinup bar, drop a barbell on your head, or piss yourself at the bottom of a squat and the Internet will never forget you.


Blaidd Drwg
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 19098
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:39 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Blaidd Drwg »

Sofa King wrote:I nominate Couch as best new poster of 2009.

I nominate Couch as Rant's new troll.


while not clever. it's nice to see all of his posts are direct quotes.
"He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that." JS Mill

User avatar

Gary John
Gunny
Posts: 892
Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 5:23 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Gary John »

I think that Couch is really Glassman. His avatar looks just like him.

In the surreal world of x-fit, it all flows down hill.
Image

User avatar

Shafpocalypse Now
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 21281
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 11:26 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

This shit could swing both ways.

For fuck's sake...it could be couch, or it could be Rant.

Or, hell, it could be anyone.


Blaidd Drwg
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 19098
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:39 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Blaidd Drwg »

The Shafpocalypse wrote:This shit could swing both ways.

For fuck's sake...it could be couch, or it could be Rant.

Or, hell, it could be anyone.
fess up Shafsicle.
"He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that." JS Mill

User avatar

Gary John
Gunny
Posts: 892
Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 5:23 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Gary John »

Can't be Shaf. Several of his trolls have restraining orders against him.
Image


***
Anal CumDumpster
Posts: 2912
Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:57 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by *** »

Rant is a nut sack. He is really a former Crossfitter named John Walsh and has been quoted in several CF journals. He has been placed on notice. The lawyers are coming. Whose next?

Performance is directly correlated with intensity. Intensity is directly correlated with discomfort. We fail at the margins of our experience. I have great cardio-respiratory endurance, it is just that the track is too long.

User avatar

Sofa King
Top
Posts: 2346
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 3:33 pm
Location: Loge 139, row k, seat 1
Contact:

Re: The couch thread

Post by Sofa King »

Charismatic megafauna wrote:
Sofa King wrote:I nominate Couch as best new poster of 2009.

I nominate Couch as Rant's new troll.


while not clever. it's nice to see all of his posts are direct quotes.
I suspect you're right, but I don't care.
Couch is the best new sock puppet, hands down.
WGM wrote:Fall off a chinup bar, drop a barbell on your head, or piss yourself at the bottom of a squat and the Internet will never forget you.

User avatar

Shafpocalypse Now
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 21281
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 11:26 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

No way, I gave up doing that shit behind troll names, etc...I figure if I call someone for their bullshit, I want them to know who's calling them on it.


ChrisG

Re: The couch thread

Post by ChrisG »

Scott Sonnon says Cooch is
morally repulsive, socially irresponsible and commercially negligent.
http://www.rmaxinternational.com/flowcoach/?p=480


robb
Private
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 2:48 am

Re: The couch thread

Post by robb »

Ross Enamait trap-bar deadlifting 585:



Compare to:

Image

hmm...who to listen to?

User avatar

POD
Gunny
Posts: 632
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:21 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by POD »

robb wrote:Ross Enamait trap-bar deadlifting 585:

This man even acknowledges the extra 2-3" from the handles helped him. That's and honest and open person if there ever was one.
Image
This man has said that his program would take a 500lb deadlift to 700lbs in 2 years...


***
Anal CumDumpster
Posts: 2912
Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:57 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by *** »

ChrisG wrote:Scott Sonnon says Cooch is
morally repulsive, socially irresponsible and commercially negligent.
http://www.rmaxinternational.com/flowcoach/?p=480
There’s a big difference between saying that if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of broken necks, we don’t want you around and saying that if the possibility of breaking your neck from falling on your head is unimaginable, we don’t want you around. Please.

Interpreting my statement, "If you find the notion of falling off the rings and breaking your neck so foreign to you, then we don't want you in our ranks” to show that we want to weed out the weak-willed is ludicrous, and, I think, no accidental misreading.

Look, everyone, if your kid doesn’t believe that you can be killed in a car wreck it’s immoral for you to give him the keys to the car. Is that simple enough?


***
Anal CumDumpster
Posts: 2912
Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:57 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by *** »

This is a battle for mind share. The NSCA has long stood unchallenged in its authority and reputation. CrossFit is a threat to the organization, its offerings, status, minions, and their revenues. If our methods were lacking they’d have published a comprehensive corpus of scientific support for that reality.


***
Anal CumDumpster
Posts: 2912
Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:57 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by *** »


Post Reply