The couch thread

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Re: The couch thread

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T200
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Re: The couch thread

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SIT-UPS ARE TOO FUCKING HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dimensions of the abmat for diy?
I was thinking an abmat would be very easy to DIY, but after searching here and google can not for the life of me find any dimensions (HxWxL). Could someone please let me know, or measure the darn thing. Thanks.
Also, as usual an Abmat thread is getting lots of support from the @Fit community.
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Re: The couch thread

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Re: The couch thread

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What makes you an internet celebrity?

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Part of it is about how many people are googling you.
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T200
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Re: The couch thread

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Puking advices for Cederbaum:
I've puked a few times -- the most memorable was during a regatta right after a 2k race in college. My 8 came across the line, and as the boat was coasting I leaned over the side and heaved. Thank goodness I was in the bow, yes?

Another time I threw up doing bleachers at the football stadium. My own fault, I was a little dehydrated and it was August in North Carolina. Anyway, there wasn't a trashcan nearby, so I threw up in my shirt. Then I took it off, walked to the nearest trashcan, and finished the workout in my sports bra.

If I were you, I'd just carry my towel around the globo with me. If I felt like I was going to hurl and couldn't make it to the bathroom, I'd throw up in the towel as unobtrusively as possible. Then throw the towel away, and take my body's hint that maybe I'm going out too hard and I need to ratchet it back a notch.

That's what I'd do, anyway. YMMV.
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Re: The couch thread

Post by T200 »

Thread...
Fitness ADD

Thanks to CrossFit, I've developed Fitness ADD. I took my platoon out for a 3 mile run the other morning. It took us the better part of an hour because every half mile I'd get bored and stop to do squats, sprints, lunges, etc. to break up the monotony. Anyone else notice this?
David Knutzak:
Absolutely. I'm so bad that even some of the heavy lifting days get boring, and seem to drag on and on and on... Unit PT is excruciating at times due to the boredom.
Presumably little Asian guy:
I agree with the heavy lifting sometimes. By the 3rd or 4th set, I'm ready to get it over with and do a quick met-con to finish off the day. Sitting on a bench people watching while you recover can only be so fun.
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Gin Master »

WildGorillaMan wrote:Image
2 P&Bs, Facebook, and a blog. Well done, sir.

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T200
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Re: The couch thread

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HONESTLY FAGS...
You Know You CrossFit Too Much When...

When you notice a poster for children's day care with a kid picking up a ball, and the first thing you think of is, "if only if the kid was lower he would have a pretty good squat".
True story: we're standing in line at Home Depot waiting to buy another length of PVC tubing, openly discussing which girl we felt like doing together that evening after we chop the tube into lengths to practice a few moves first. We both have an "oh sh*t" moment at the same time, when we realize people in line are listening in and completely misunderstanding.
You pull over on the freeway this morning on the way to work because you saw a pvc pipe on the side of the road
Pukey called for here on multiple levels:
When people at your non affiliate gym refer to you and your girlfriend as the "burpee couple"
When you walk into your globo-gym everyday and the counter dude/chick says "what crazy S$*% are you doing today?"

When you finish a WOD at the globo gym, and at least one person per day stops to you ask what the hell you're doing. Then you spend the next 20min trying to pour the kool-aid down their throat.
Fag unsatisfied with nice titties:
You're at the bar with a friend and he says, 'check out the rack on that bartender,' to which you respond, 'yeah but look at her spindly legs she needs squats and milk.' And then you think 'oh my god Skibicki has invaded my brain.'
You know you cross fit too much when - you're waiting for the cake in the oven and meanwhile do walking lunges through the kitchen
Same fag who is not into teh breasts:
Heh I do four pullups, one with each grip, every time i go into the bathroom at home. I focus on squat form every time I get up and sit down in my chair at work. If I'm unsatisfied with it, I stand back up/sit back down, and do it again. I focus on glute recruitment whenever I walk up stairs.
Oh my:
When you look at a broomstick and think "Hm... now´s as good a time as any to work on my snatch."
This is a "man" speaking here:
ah you beat me to it... when you are cleaning the kitchen floor and stop half way through to practice snatch and ohs form
This is what I thought yesterday monring.....

Hmmm.....what to eat before my workout? Wait what's the easiest thing to throw up?

Hahahhahahahahaha I knew that I had joined the ranks.
Yeah same, one of them wondered how I got such big arms (he's a homosexual so he notices that kinda stuff *shrugs*).
I explained my last work out, which indeed happened to be murph...Got a blank stare
-When you're in a bar/restaurant/other public place telling a buddy about all the burpees you did today and when he asks what the a burpee is, you proceed to bust out a set of 3-5 in the middle of the bar/restaurant/other public place.

-You collapse after doing the WOD and open your eyes to see several concerned gym employess looking at you and asking if you're ok.
...when your 4 year old daughter peeks into your workout space and says, "Daddy, why are you laying on the floor with that funny look on your face. Are you going to throw up?"
Cute Gym Girl: You have pretty nice abs.

Me: Thanks.

CGG: I never see you do abs though. What do you do for abs?

Me: What do I do for abs? I stabilize my midline like a mother@%#$^&. That's what I do for abs.

CGG: *Confused look and then just walks off.*

I had just read that quote from Coach and so it was very fresh in my mind.
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Re: The couch thread

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Question:

All these CrossdressFit workouts have pre-determined rep numbers like 100 pull-ups, 300 squats, etc. How did they come up with these numbers and why, other than just pulling them out of their ass? Also, what if someone can't do 100 pull-ups or 300 squats? Is QueerFit not for them or is there a plan B?

I just find this whole system flawed and pointless. It's a bunch of arbitrary workouts thrown together by a drunk troll to make people feel accomplishment by vomiting. It doesn't translate into any athletic activity well, which is why XFitters only compete in their own stupid workouts and not any outside activity where their training will be exposed as a sham. Where healthy athletes take pride in trophies, medals, and victory, these clowns take pride in vomit and fucking up their body as much as possible to induce said vomit.
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Re: The couch thread

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Kraj wrote:Question: How did they come up with these numbers and why, other than just pulling them out of their ass?
It's complicated, involving the area under the modal domain curve which can be approximated by a complex polynomial function rotated in 4 dimensions, just trust us, it works, now just open wide and let me inject some of my koolaid, next question.
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Re: The couch thread

Post by JamesonBushmill »

Kraj wrote:Question:

All these CrossdressFit workouts have pre-determined rep numbers like 100 pull-ups, 300 squats, etc. How did they come up with these numbers and why, other than just pulling them out of their ass?
Take the CC's of saline involved in a tit job, divide by the mL in a bottle of gin. Take the result and multiply it by the square root of cocks in TitsNYC at an given moment, and then throw that number in a hat and do something random anyway.
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Re: The couch thread

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Kraj wrote:Question:

All these CrossdressFit workouts have pre-determined rep numbers like 100 pull-ups, 300 squats, etc. How did they come up with these numbers and why, other than just pulling them out of their ass? Also, what if someone can't do 100 pull-ups or 300 squats? Is QueerFit not for them or is there a plan B?

I just find this whole system flawed and pointless. It's a bunch of arbitrary workouts thrown together by a drunk troll to make people feel accomplishment by vomiting. It doesn't translate into any athletic activity well, which is why XFitters only compete in their own stupid workouts and not any outside activity where their training will be exposed as a sham. Where healthy athletes take pride in trophies, medals, and victory, these clowns take pride in vomit and fucking up their body as much as possible to induce said vomit.

While we're on the topic, I've wondered something about the programming for a while. Frequently when people say @F isn't effective, the @Fitters will say something like, "Oh yeah? Go tell the Navy SEALs this doesn't work!" Don't SEALs, or any other group of people doing conditioning workouts, simply do conditioning workouts on top of their other training? That is, to DO @F, doesn't one have to stick to a totally randomized, 3-day-on, 1-day-off schedule? If the main part of your programming isn't this, or something very similar (2-on, 1-off), then you can't call your programming @F, right?

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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Spending too much time dissecting all the modal nodes is a waste of time. That way madness lies.

Let's refocus on what's really important.

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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

Once @F got out of the hardcore online fitness 'vibe' and became more popular, the message board pretty much became chock full of astonishingly stupid people.

These people don't understand a single thing about effective exercise.


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Re: The couch thread

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If you can stomach it, I got such a chuckle out of this short clip from the @F movie:
http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/ESC_ ... pril22.mov
Castro talking about "fucking tricks"...ironic considering the community-wide adoption of the stupidest "trick" evah, the butterfly/snake kipping pullup!

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Re: The couch thread

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Crossfitter: "Those running shoes are not helping develop her immature squat :rolleyes: "

~vs~

IGxer: "I'd tap that in a fucking heartbeat :prayer: "

Which team are you on?
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Fat Cat »

Bitches shouldn't lift weights.
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Mountebank »

Now, just like on standard copy for interwebz sales pitches, a deadline for investment in the @F RRG...
http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/2 ... .html#more
What's more important than barbells? The CrossFit Risk Retention Group (RRG). Insurance. The boring, old, unsexy aspect of our fun, fabulous business. If the barbell is the sleek, hot, young thing whipping through "Nasty Girls", then insurance is your old Aunt Marge asking you to hold her feet during sit-ups. You'd really rather find something else to do.

But, here's the deal: Aunt Marge is crucial to your CrossFit business. She covers your backside and bails you out of trouble when it's three in the morning and your car is in the ditch and no one else will take your call. That's Aunt Marge and that's insurance and that's the RRG.

If you haven't read the CrossFit Journal article about the RRG, go read it. Learn that the RRG is a future rhabdo defense program that we need to fund now. By May 15th. $500K by May 15th needs to be in the RRG fund or policies can't start July 1st. We're working under deadline here.

So, yes, I'm asking you to pay in $1,000 now and leave it there for years, just so you can have the opportunity to buy rhabdo coverage in the future. That's asking a lot. I know that. My CrossFit Watertown bank account knows that. But I'm asking because I think it's that important. If we don't fund the RRG, rhabdo coverage never exists. Nor does our opportunity to fight legally the way we, as affiliates, want to fight bogus rhabdo claims in court. And, quite frankly, there's nobody else who is going to protect CrossFit affiliates like CrossFit affiliates will. This is our chance to make a stand.
If they didn't risk killing "Aunt Marge" with rhabdo, then normal training & liability insurance would cover them. From the other quotes y'all have been posting, it sounds like @F veterans aren't even immune to rhabdo anymore...

Love the deadline. How is this not obviously to make money? I bet this just became much more obvious to those only sipping at the Kool-Aid.

Um, it will be next to impossible to fight these so-called "bogus" rhabdo claims in court when someone is diagnosed in the ER with crazy-high CK levels and when the "community" and Rx'd program has a knack for causing rhabdo, as documented by their own followers on the interwebz.

I've heard that there will be stuff in the @F Games this year that no @Fers have seen or done before (that is, except for the @F ringers who will get lots of info early to guarantee an in-house win). If there are new movements, I bet it is nearly guaranteed that multiple folks are going down with rhabdo there. Fingers crossed that part makes it to their next movie!!! \:D/


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Re: The couch thread

Post by Gin Master »

Resident Quack wrote:If you can stomach it, I got such a chuckle out of this short clip from the @F movie:
http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/ESC_ ... pril22.mov
Castro talking about "fucking tricks"...ironic considering the community-wide adoption of the stupidest "trick" evah, the butterfly/snake kipping pullup!
Castro is a shit head. What's the story with that clip?

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Re: The couch thread

Post by Kraj »

Resident Quack wrote:If you can stomach it, I got such a chuckle out of this short clip from the @F movie:
http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/ESC_ ... pril22.mov
Castro talking about "fucking tricks"...ironic considering the community-wide adoption of the stupidest "trick" evah, the butterfly/snake kipping pullup!
I like how they sprinkle meaningless profanity throughout their speech. It makes them hardcore. I think Dana White is a crossfitter.
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Re: The couch thread

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That's the roids talking. Hate the sin, not the sinner.
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Mountebank »

Gin Master wrote:
Resident Quack wrote:If you can stomach it, I got such a chuckle out of this short clip from the @F movie:
http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/ESC_ ... pril22.mov
Castro talking about "fucking tricks"...ironic considering the community-wide adoption of the stupidest "trick" evah, the butterfly/snake kipping pullup!
Castro is a shit head. What's the story with that clip?
Found it in the day's comments:
#26 Dave, Matt was dropping the bar from overhead, catching it on the bounce and then using that momentum to take him into his next clean. A creative take on the clean & jerk but a definate no-no.

I personally don't know what trick Matt was trying to pull but if you watch the Coach Burgener and Gillian Mounsey out take clip in the journal, he coaches her to let the weights bounce and use the momentum to help her in the next clean. Is this the same trick?
I'm calling selective enforcement of the rules. Matt probably hates gin too.
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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

Plus, what kind of fucking faggots get bored runny 3 miles.

Three fucking miles?

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Re: The couch thread

Post by GoDogGo! »

Joe wrote:
Crossfitter: "Those running shoes are not helping develop her immature squat :rolleyes: "

~vs~

IGxer: "I'd tap that in a fucking heartbeat :prayer: "

Which team are you on?
I'd tap that in a fucking heartbeat.
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Re: The couch thread

Post by POD »

Kraj wrote:Question:

All these CrossdressFit workouts have pre-determined rep numbers like 100 pull-ups, 300 squats, etc. How did they come up with these numbers and why, other than just pulling them out of their ass? Also, what if someone can't do 100 pull-ups or 300 squats? Is QueerFit not for them or is there a plan B?
Straight out of Glassman's goatse-sized ass. 21-15-9 has nothing over 20-15-10 other than the fact that it makes it look like there's something special. If you can't do it, your supposed to scale down the reps (eg. cut them all in half), unless you want to be a real CrossFitter, do it all, get the rhabdo, and take it like a man.
"This event isn't a fucking joke."

I think it is, but Glassman's the only one who gets it.
Rhabdo insurance? Are you fucking kidding me? So, by joining it, not only are you opening yourself to the risk of loosing money when some ignorant cunt with three months of exposure to CrossFit forms his own affiliate and gets someone hurt within a week, but you're even admitting that your such a poor trainer that you're likely to give your clients rhabdo. Am I understanding this right?
The Bastard Son of the Shafman wrote:Plus, what kind of fucking faggots get bored runny 3 miles.

Three fucking miles?
Shaf, this is from the people who need a new workout each and every day.

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