The couch thread

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Shave Astroglide

Re: The couch thread

Post by Shave Astroglide »

Beelzebub wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:One of you with an operational troll ask Welbourn if he would reccomend shit or shinola.
That Welbourne guy is a fucking douche bag NFL player who dates some actress. What the fuck does he know? Wendler's 5-3-1 crushes @fit football. It is embarrassing that he would even suggest he had tried it.

And Sofa King you fucking retard you should get out of your mom's basement and meet some girls without a beard. The reason she has those scars is because she has silicon implants instead of saline. With the saline they insert them and fill, hence small scars. With silicon they come sized and have to stuffed in there, so bigger scars, usually done underneath. I feel like I am talking with POD's saturday poker buddies.
I met Welbourne at the GAYMES and at some other @fit retardednes. He seems to cultivate this Power Bear thing with his starry-eyed underlings. Maybe some of the light hearted NFL grab ass has left him with a void that actresses cannot fill?

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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

The Welbourne hate is funny. I'm pretty sure some of it is tongue in cheek.

While I don't think XFFB is retarded, I certainly don't think the random bullshit he throws out there for WODs is better than 531 or MEBB or whatever. I looked at that programming on XFFB for several weeks, and it just doesn't plan for progression (either strength or conditioning), it just is supposed to happen - this is a hallmark of HIT-based programs and this shit doesn't happen a lot of the time for average dudes. Welbourne's experience as a very skilled athlete leaves the regular dipshits up the creek without a paddle.

Looking at the shit Defranco does would be the first place to start. What'd he say he had this year in the pro-bowl? 3 Defranco guys? Maybe more?

The very fact that Welbourne is involved with XF and that he's had his tongue up couches ass more than once tells me that he's a borderline dipshit, not to mention the complete unprofessional use of fuck, shit, etc in his professional presentations.

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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

I'm sure Welbourne and Mormont buttfuck each other all night, SHAVE.

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Re: The couch thread

Post by Fuzzy Dunlop »

WildGorillaMan wrote:Crossfit Firebase should change their affilate name to Crossfit Ozymandias, because when I look upon their works, I despair.

http://crossfitfirebase.com/wp-content/ ... 01/023.jpg
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powerlifter54
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Re: The couch thread

Post by powerlifter54 »

friedquads wrote:Welbourn turns passive-aggressive.
Everyone takes everything so personal, but that is the rule in the realm of keyboard samurais. So I guess if it isnt in the book than it cant be true.

So you read the books and articles...what about doing the training? As you are well read you should know that percentages are wasted on a beginning lifter. Linear progressions are ideal for a lifter with no adaption. Myself, I did a linear progression for years in my training and got stronger every time I walked into a gym. When I went to college we started messing with the WSB conjugated stuff I got really strong, when we mixed it with sprinting and heavy Oly lifting we got really fast, explosive and the strong. Rip forwarded me Wendler's book last year as they are friends and hang out. After I read the book Rip and discussed the training the conclusion was the 5-3-1 was excellent for advanced lifters but left some stuff on the table for the beginner. So we took the 5-3-1 and put 5 athletes on the program mixed it with metcons, sprinting and sledge dragging. We had a few other athletes doing german volume training, MaxFit USA, CF Football and Starting Strength. We have a lot of athletes and the we did not get the best gains out of novice and intermediate lifters. We got the best gains from a basic linear progression mixed with metcon or the amateur program on CF Football.

Here is some some exerts from the book:

Monte Sparkman – benched 440 at a meet using a 405 training max.
Jim Wendler – deadlifted 710 using nothing higher than a 650 training max.
Leigh An Jaskiewicz – benched 135x10 and 175x1 using nothing higher than a 140 training max.
Phil Wylie – deadlifted 677 at a meet with a highest training pull of 550x9.

Looks to be some pretty strong dudes. He does include a girl in their Leigh, no idea on her level of training. I do not claim to be an expert other than my full time job of lifting and training since I was 14 (about 20 years worth), competed at the top of my sport, run a good website that gets a lot of hits and therefore I get a lot of feed back on my training. I have learned from some good coaches starting with US Powerlifting coach George Zangas and going to Tom Shaw and Raphael Ruiz to learn to run. Todd Rice to oly lift, Angel Spazov and a few others.

I think most make it way to complicated. Lift heavy weights...walk in and try to get stronger every day if that is goal.

As I can tell you were angered that I might have some knowledge you do not, I can tell you as an athlete is exposed to training the ability to make gains become smaller and smaller, therefore the programs become more complicated and advanced.

I think everyone should try out everything so they can talk intelligently about all programs, find out what works for them and what does not.
Since Mr Wellborn played in the league and has a good choice in girlfriends, he gets some slack. Yeah, try everything. The end was good. But i will use my Obvious Powered Truth Saber and say if you mix anything with @fit Metcon (working to failure in GPP) it won't work. Wendler says mix 531 with some steady state cardio then let yourself adjust. Or to mix 531 with some hill sprints, but when you do your lifting may suffer. The reason @fit FB works for those folks is they are newbie weak! 531 takes SOME strength, and as MR Wellborn points out, the @fitters have no idea what strong is.
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RPC
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Re: The couch thread

Post by RPC »

531 smokes CFFB any fucking day of the week fren.

1. Welbourn first states that 531 is for an "advanced lifter" trying to "peak for a meet."

First off that is complete horseshit and any idiot that actually read the fucking book and reads Wendler's QA knows the 531 is entirely appropriate for novice or intermediates.

Secondly he's prepping an entirely different book adapting the 531 for competitive lifting (geared, peaking for meets, openers, etc.).

2. Welbourn states that he was about 6 months ahead of those wanting to try out the program.

So in 6 fucking months a linear progression advanced you further than the 531.

HO LEE FUCKING SHIT. NO SHIT ASSHOLE.

The 531 runs for waves asshole. Six months (roughly 6 waves of the 531) and you are just getting FUCKING started. Let's see you honestly run a LINEAR progression ON TOP OF YOUR FAGGOT METCONS for more than a year and show me who will put more on their fucking maxes.

MY GOD THIS FUCKING DOUCHEBAG.

MY HATE FLOWETH OVER FOR THIS SHIT!

3. My understanding is that the next Wendler book will be 531 for Football.

FUCK YOU WELBOURN. Wendlers program is going to FUCKING CRUSH your FAGGOT ASS PROGRAM MOTHERFUCKER. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

4. And yes I agree with PL54: "say if you mix anything with @fit Metcon (working to failure in GPP) it won't work." On top of only "testing" for six months which I fucking doubt. ANYTIME you add faggot METCONS to ANYTHING it will FUCK IT UP. Because CROSSFIT FUCKING SUCKS.

5. I know some of you CrossFitters are wanting to run 531 and modify it for your metcons. I know of several AFFILIATES running the 531 right now. FOR CHRIST SAKES stop basterdizing the program. DO it as written and stop. You will be fucking amazed at what might happen. RESIST THE URGE TO FUCK WITH PROGRAMMING.

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Re: The couch thread

Post by friedquads »

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:The Welbourne hate is funny. I'm pretty sure some of it is tongue in cheek.

While I don't think XFFB is retarded, I certainly don't think the random bullshit he throws out there for WODs is better than 531 or MEBB or whatever. I looked at that programming on XFFB for several weeks, and it just doesn't plan for progression (either strength or conditioning), it just is supposed to happen - this is a hallmark of HIT-based programs and this shit doesn't happen a lot of the time for average dudes. Welbourne's experience as a very skilled athlete leaves the regular dipshits up the creek without a paddle.

Looking at the shit Defranco does would be the first place to start. What'd he say he had this year in the pro-bowl? 3 Defranco guys? Maybe more?

The very fact that Welbourne is involved with XF and that he's had his tongue up couches ass more than once tells me that he's a borderline dipshit, not to mention the complete unprofessional use of fuck, shit, etc in his professional presentations.
You're going to dig this then. Wendler has a 5/3/1 for football coming soon.

http://asp.elitefts.com/qa/training-log ... 720&tid=63
12/29/2009 9:45:04 AM - Jim Wendler
Coming Soon: 5/3/1 For Football E-Book
5/3/1 For Football

Slated for release in mid to late January, just in time for the beginning of most off-season football training programs, the eagerly anticipated 5/3/1 For Football e-book is a collaboration between 5/3/1 program creator Jim Wendler and EliteFTS Q&A staff member "The Angry Coach."

5/3/1 For Football will be a comprehensive guide to installing the now legendary 5/3/1 training program into the training of football players, whether it's done individually, in a school or team setting or in your private training facility.

Wendler's 5/3/1 manual is the best selling training manual in the history of EliteFTS, and for nearly two years now, it's been among the most widely read and used training manuals online. Now, after nearly a year of collaboration, discussions and experimentation, Wendler and the Angry Coach explain how to incorporate 5/3/1 into the training of American football players.

In 5/3/1 For Football, you'll learn:

• How to tailor the 5/3/1 program for both team and individual football training.

• How to add speed, agility, conditioning and football-specific training to the program.

• How to train large groups of athletes using 5/3/1.

• How to adjust your programming based on the time of year and your individual and team goals.

• How to start and build a football strength and conditioning program in either a school or private facility using 5/3/1 principles.

5/3/1, through the thousands of people who have used it successfully, has proven to be a remarkably effective program for building strength. Now, with the upcoming release of 5/3/1 For Football, you'll soon be able to harness the power of this simple-yet-effective tool and begin producing football players the right way: the 5/3/1 way.
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Fuzzy Dunlop »

Fighting about CFFB vs. 5/3/1 is gayer than @fit. Stop it.

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Shave Astroglide

Re: The couch thread

Post by Shave Astroglide »

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:I'm sure Welbourne and Mormont buttfuck each other all night, SHAVE.
That, is obviously.

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Jag Panzer
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Jag Panzer »

friedquads wrote:You're going to dig this then. Wendler has a 5/3/1 for football coming soon.

http://asp.elitefts.com/qa/training-log ... 720&tid=63
I call dibs on the first 5/3/1 affiliate.

Get Wendler a bottle of gin and we can do this thing.


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Re: The couch thread

Post by CultBuster »

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Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

If 95 pounds is a 10 on the rate of perceived exertion scale, you might be a Cultfitter.
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theoverman
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Re: The couch thread

Post by theoverman »

slowly but surely crossfit is turning into regular ass "lifting weights". next year, db curls for time. it will happen. then they can claim anything is crossfit. crossfit yoga, crossfit power, crossfit speed, so forth. the more ubiquitous, the more money gets funneled to teh couch.
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Kazuya Mishima
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Kazuya Mishima »

Self-mutilation pr0n from Shoreline.

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Kazuya Mishima wrote:Self-mutilation pr0n from Shoreline.

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What a fucking retard.
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friedquads
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Re: The couch thread

Post by friedquads »

Fixed.
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Jay wrote:BTW, warriors kill shit. The only things you kill are exercise science and the board short display at Target.
I choose to kill people with kindness. Oh, I should also mention "kindness" is the name of my samurai sword.

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Alfred_E._Neuman
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Alfred_E._Neuman »

That bad of a hand tear would fuck my training up for a month. Easily.

Hard to be elite when you can only train a couple of times a month due to hands that won't grip. Also hard to work.
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Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

HARD TO KILL!!!
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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

I think Wendler's more of a Jack guy.

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Re: The couch thread

Post by theoverman »

if i was an assfitter, i'd slit my wrists too
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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

theoverman wrote:if i was an assfitter, i'd slit my wrists too

=D>
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friedquads
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Re: The couch thread

Post by friedquads »

theoverman wrote:if i was an assfitter, i'd slit my wrists too
theoverman for the win! =D> =D> =D>
Jay wrote:BTW, warriors kill shit. The only things you kill are exercise science and the board short display at Target.
I choose to kill people with kindness. Oh, I should also mention "kindness" is the name of my samurai sword.

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Kazuya Mishima
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Kazuya Mishima »

protobuilder wrote:HARD TO KILL!!!
Fire breathers, imo.


Shave Astroglide

Re: The couch thread

Post by Shave Astroglide »

theoverman wrote:slowly but surely crossfit is turning into regular ass "lifting weights". next year, db curls for time. it will happen. then they can claim anything is crossfit. crossfit yoga, crossfit power, crossfit speed, so forth. the more ubiquitous, the more money gets funneled to teh couch.
In a way they already have. When people have held Gl@ssholes feet to the fire and asked "Is the WOD CF?" he would simper around and say it's one iteration. But then Gl@ssface would say what Dan John did was CF, what Ross did was CF. He has effectively said everything is CF. If everything is @fit, nothing is @fit.

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Re: The couch thread

Post by friedquads »

People profess their hawt love for Katherine Derbyshire, mostly from ugly ass people like Renee Lee.

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=54778
Jay wrote:BTW, warriors kill shit. The only things you kill are exercise science and the board short display at Target.
I choose to kill people with kindness. Oh, I should also mention "kindness" is the name of my samurai sword.

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