The couch thread

Takafumi · Post by **Takafumi** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 5:48 am

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Takafumi · Post by **Takafumi** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 6:00 am

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ab g-d · Post by **ab g-d** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:29 am

Quack Attack wrote: It was my first professional introduction to Self-Myofascial Release (SMR).

Wow, I introduced myself to this when I was pretty young. Poor douche.

ab g-d · Post by **ab g-d** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:33 am

Quack Attack wrote:For one of the first times I've ever noticed, couch gives credit to SOMEONE ELSE for "designing" a wad:
http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/005214.html
This workout is the creation of Jacob Tsypkin of http://evolveyourfitness.blogspot.com/

Comment #36 - Posted by: Coach at January 28, 2010 6:50 PM
Tsypkin & Greene (they share an affiliate, or at least a blog, apparently) deserve all of IGx's wrath for having pure cult-flavor Kool-Aid running through their veins.

For those of you who are Melissa (Byers) Urban fans, they are going after her...http://evolveyourfitness.blogspot.com/2 ... urban.html

These guys are some of the biggest hypocrites I've ever seen regarding @F. Designs "his own" workouts, then goes after Urban for doing her own thing. Bitches about what "evidence" anyone else has to go against CultFit, then says shit like...
I had the opportunity to work with Jeff Alexander of Network Fitness. It was my first professional introduction to Self-Myofascial Release (SMR). I had a little experience with this method from the folks at Balance Gym and the other trainers at CrossFit Monterey, but I had never put much stock in the method. I hadn't seen enough evidence to change my mind. Now I have.
[...]
Moving forward, I am going to research SMR more deeply and experiment with it more on my own. How else should I act when confronted with overwhelming evidence?
Like the @F injury board and all of the big names that have mutinied? What an uber-doosh.

I introduced myself to SMR when I was just a pup. DIdn't need no "professional introduction". No wonder these CFers are so uptight.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 12:59 pm

LiftHeavyShit · Post by **LiftHeavyShit** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:10 pm

Couch's gymnastics career is shouded in mystery. Somewhere he has a buncha trophies with 'participant' on them IMO, as if he'd ever won anything, we'd have heard about it.

I know from good sources that couch never won ANYTHING in anything remotely gymNAST related. Taking a gymNAST class at the YMCA doesn’t make you a competitive gymNAST, just as deadlifing in your basement doesn’t make you a competitive powerlifter.

Couch is full of shit and he knows it.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:30 pm

So, I'm looking at Dutch Lowry's blog.

Lots of injuries here. Is this typical of dudes essentially brought up on XF programming?

http://www.dutchlowy.com/blog/

Dan Martin · Post by **Dan Martin** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:39 pm

The handstand pushup looks to be a main lift for the X-fit. Is there any indication that that HSPU increases participants barbell press?

CultBuster · Post by **CultBuster** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:31 pm

http://evolveyourfitness.blogspot.com/

These cunts picked a public fight with Melissa Urban and are getting flamed in the process. When Wolf and Everett and maybe Dan Jon get something together a bunch of folks are going to bail. Josh Everett wearing a shirt that says "No I'm the other Everett" in a video is just egging on people who don't need to be egged on.

theoverman · Post by **theoverman** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:38 pm

the new video is funny

boney wrote:the concept is chalk and... uh... blackboard. it's uh... fantastic. blah blah the basic air squat which has, you know, seen ridicule... is the ideal foundation for human movement.

they've stopped caring

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:02 pm

Really? Josh Everett is wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm the other Everett"?

I believe that's a high water mark right there.

CultBuster · Post by **CultBuster** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:09 pm

they've stopped caring

EXACTLY!

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Mickey O'neil · Post by **Mickey O'neil** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:20 pm

That is just seriously stupid.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:34 pm

These ripped hand pics seriously kill me given that I know what caused them and know exactly what they are worth. Disgusting.

Cleanse.

Takafumi · Post by **Takafumi** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:38 pm

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We are CrossFitters. ... To say “I am a CrossFitter” is to proclaim an unwavering commitment to working hard every time we hit a WOD.
... We hold the bottom of the squat with authority. We own the squat. ... WE FIGHT FOR POSITION and work through the entire 10 seconds to get better at the squat. ...Practice and hard work are our allies in the quest to achieve Elite Fitness.
... Success is defined by our adherence to the movement standards of each exercise in every workout when the shit hits the fan and the work rate exceeds our current work capacity. ...
... It is up to each and every one of us to employ the high level of personal accountability that comes with the proclamation: “I am a CrossFitter”.
... the promise of elite fitness awaits those of us who adhere to the training and lifestyle choices that define CrossFit. CrossFit is not easy. We are not interested in what is easy. WE ARE CROSSFITTERS...

BigAngry · Post by **BigAngry** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:51 pm

We are CrossFitters. ... To say “I am a CrossFitter” is to proclaim an unwavering commitment to working hard every time we hit a WOD.
... We hold the bottom of the squat with authority. We own the squat. ... WE FIGHT FOR POSITION and work through the entire 10 seconds to get better at the squat. ...Practice and hard work are our allies in the quest to achieve Elite Fitness.
... Success is defined by our adherence to the movement standards of each exercise in every workout when the shit hits the fan and the work rate exceeds our current work capacity. ...
... It is up to each and every one of us to employ the high level of personal accountability that comes with the proclamation: “I am a CrossFitter”.
... the promise of elite fitness awaits those of us who adhere to the training and lifestyle choices that define CrossFit. CrossFit is not easy. We are not interested in what is easy. WE ARE CROSSFITTERS...

How fucking gay can it get?!!!!!! I can't believe how long this thread is.... These cultists are so out of control, I can't even open this thread anymore. In @ssfit world, women are men and men are women. So basically following that rationale, couch is a fucking homo.

"I'm a @ssfitter." No shit. I could tell by you 12 inch arms and 40 inch chest. These assholes need to be purged and shown a fucking clue.

lasalle · Post by **lasalle** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:52 pm

Melissa Urban-worth a repost:

I’ll happily wait to say I “have” a muscle-up until I can do one without kicking like a spastic kangaroo. I’d rather get strong and perform the movement properly, even if it means I’ll NEVER be able to complete fast muscle-ups a part of a met-con. Which would, by definition, make me a terrible Games competitor.

Maybe it’s just semantics, but it’s part of our affiliate’s philosophy… we train to be better at real life, not to be the best at exercising.

http://whole9life.com/2009/12/beware-th ... ment-11049

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:53 pm

Rhabdo Slap Tear wrote:
We are CrossFitters. ... To say “I am a CrossFitter” is to proclaim an unwavering commitment to working hard every time we hit a WOD.
blahblahblahblah CrossFit is not easy. We are not interested in what is easy. WE ARE CROSSFITTERS...

That is like the goofy shit at the beginning of a Saturday morning Justice League cartoon that used to get me pumped up at 10.

RE: the public fight w/ Melissa Urban...I can't even read that shit anymore. It's so full of false couch-speak assumptions and retardation that it's painful to read. Melissa, baby, if you're reading this, know that we love you. Post Tits or GTFO.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:57 pm

lasalle wrote:Melissa Urban-worth a repost:

we train to be better at real life, not to be the best at exercising.[/b]

Man that was a dagger in Cultfit's heart. No wonder Cultfit's version of BOTOPOD devoted their immediate lives to taking her on.

Mickey O'neil · Post by **Mickey O'neil** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:01 pm

protobuilder wrote:RE: the public fight w/ Melissa Urban...I can't even read that shit anymore. It's so full of false couch-speak assumptions and retardation that it's painful to read. Melissa, baby, if you're reading this, know that we love you. Post Tits or GTFO.

This is exactly where I am. I wanted to keep up with it but it is so much scientology. Brain washed, imo.

ab g-d · Post by **ab g-d** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:04 pm

CultBuster wrote:
they've stopped caring
EXACTLY!
Andro.jpg

Stupid.jpg

I've done thousands, literally, of swings and snatches for weeks on end, and never even had a blister.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:25 pm

ab g-d wrote: I've done thousands, literally, of swings and snatches for weeks on end, and never even had a blister.

You must be doing it wrong. The HARDSTYLEE and @Fit camps both embrace teh hand ripz.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:29 pm

ab g-d wrote:I've done thousands, literally, of swings and snatches for weeks on end, and never even had a blister.

Just imagine how awesome you'd be WITH blisters though. There's a whole nother ELEETE world out there just waiting for you!

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:29 pm

I'm in love....BUUUUT it is Friday so...

lasalle · Post by **lasalle** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:40 pm

Danger. Alert. Couch has been given a stick of chalk, a fawning Tony Budding and a video camera.

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/GG_A ... review.mov

Loads of information about what "core strength" means. OK, it's actually a couple of minutes of patent nonsense. But there is a cool stick figure at the end.

Preach it, my leader.

IGX

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