The couch thread

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Wed Mar 03, 2010 11:27 pm

Lots of people lurking here, not just Lawrence Boland. This is from the 2010 Games page

29. Scotty wrote...

March 3, 2010 10:28 AM

I like how on boards, cf'ers are giving Travis' excellent placing to CF Football.

What they failed to mention was that Travis was an ACTUAL ATHLETE before ever hearing about cf. He won a national championsip at Valdosta St for f*ck's sake.

He didn't get to 5'8" and 215# doing Fran and Helen.

Foul-Mouthed Ignoramus · Thu Mar 04, 2010 12:59 am

T200 wrote:@Fit MILO article.

Does not compute

CultBuster · Post by **CultBuster** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:35 am

Got most of the reast of Obsession. B-Boi and Barky were EMPLOYED by Obsessing and this has not being going well with partners. The group vs. Barky, B-Boi,Coach and CFHQ. CFHQ came in after hours over the weekend and took all the gear away.

The Ginger Beard Man · Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:36 am

CultBuster wrote:Got most of the reast of Obsession. B-Boi and Barky were EMPLOYED by Obsessing and this has not being going well with partners. The group vs. Barky, B-Boi,Coach and CFHQ. CFHQ came in after hours over the weekend and took all the gear away.

Who is Blauer with in all of this?

Don Stevenson · Post by **Don Stevenson** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:44 am

That video of the Utah sectionals was fucking painful to watch.

I spotted only one clean and jerk in there that would be passed at any form of weightlifting comp.

friedquads · Post by **friedquads** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:49 am

The @filliate board has the "official" statement:

In the CrossFit world, honor and integrity are important.

When CrossFit HQ learned of a plan by a businessman to force out the rightful CrossFit Obsession affiliate owner and steal CFHQ-purchased equipment, we immediately acted to protect the affiliate owner, Brendan Gilliam, and his co-trainer Allison Bishop. CrossFit Obsession is, and remains, an affiliate in good standing, but the former backer of that venture (Luke Hillier, who was never a CrossFit affiliate) is not welcome in our CrossFit community.

We find it unfortunate that Hillier and others claiming to be "the owners of CrossFit Obsession" have embarked on a concentrated smear campaign, comprised of lies and half-truths, intended to separate an affiliate from its membership. Do not let them. They seek only to profit from this CrossFit community, not to help it.

Simply the fact that they claim to be the "owners" of CrossFit Obsession is proof of a lie. Brendan Gilliam is the CrossFit Obsession applicant and owner of record with CFHQ. He wrote the essay and he signed the License Agreement with us; he is the L1 certified trainer. We affiliate one person only with a specific CrossFit name. Luke Hillier appears in no documentation whatsoever with CrossFit, Inc.

We will not stand idly by and allow Luke Hillier (or anyone else) to spread falsehoods through our community or file false police charges against Brendan Gilliam or any other member of our CrossFit community.

We have written proof of the deception and the intent to deceive in communications among Luke Hillier and his associates. The proof is irrefutable and we acted to save an affiliate owner from false charges. We would do so again in a heartbeat.

We will protect our own.

A good amount of this is laughable. Honor and Integrity are important to them? Really?

Now with Tony Blauer's involvement or side, he might be with this Luke guy.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:54 am

friedquads wrote:The @filliate board has the "official" statement:

In the CrossFit world, honor and integrity are important.

When CrossFit HQ learned of a plan by a businessman to force out the rightful CrossFit Obsession affiliate owner and steal CFHQ-purchased equipment, we immediately acted to protect the affiliate owner, Brendan Gilliam, and his co-trainer Allison Bishop. CrossFit Obsession is, and remains, an affiliate in good standing, but the former backer of that venture (Luke Hillier, who was never a CrossFit affiliate) is not welcome in our CrossFit community.

We find it unfortunate that Hillier and others claiming to be "the owners of CrossFit Obsession" have embarked on a concentrated smear campaign, comprised of lies and half-truths, intended to separate an affiliate from its membership. Do not let them. They seek only to profit from this CrossFit community, not to help it.

Simply the fact that they claim to be the "owners" of CrossFit Obsession is proof of a lie. Brendan Gilliam is the CrossFit Obsession applicant and owner of record with CFHQ. He wrote the essay and he signed the License Agreement with us; he is the L1 certified trainer. We affiliate one person only with a specific CrossFit name. Luke Hillier appears in no documentation whatsoever with CrossFit, Inc.

We will not stand idly by and allow Luke Hillier (or anyone else) to spread falsehoods through our community or file false police charges against Brendan Gilliam or any other member of our CrossFit community.

We have written proof of the deception and the intent to deceive in communications among Luke Hillier and his associates. The proof is irrefutable and we acted to save an affiliate owner from false charges. We would do so again in a heartbeat.

We will protect our own.
A good amount of this is laughable. Honor and Integrity are important to them? Really?

Now with Tony Blauer's involvement or side, he might be with this Luke guy.

So if Crossfit Obsession is an affiliate in good standing, why does www.crossfitobsession.com Point to corefitnessobsession.com?

JohnnyBadAss · Post by **JohnnyBadAss** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:56 am

Arnold Classic Sectionals Workouts are up...check out this dumbassery.

WOD 1
5 Rounds For Time (completed with a weighted vest throughout 30/15lbs):
7 Deadlifts - 225/155lbs
11 Burpees

WOD 2
Sandbag Sprints
The distance, number of sandbags and weight to be announced at event.

WOD 3
2 Rounds For Time:
Row 500M
15 Overhead Squat - 95/65lbs
Row 500M
15 Toes-to-Bar

WOD 4
Will be announced after the third WOD's final heat!

WTF does any of this prove other than a love of masochism?

The Ginger Beard Man · Thu Mar 04, 2010 2:00 am

It looks like this Hillier guy (did he put up the money?), probably has the location, and so he changed the name, and now B Boi and Barky must be looking for a space. Right?

lasalle · Post by **lasalle** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 2:02 am

In the CrossFit world, honor and integrity are important.

When CrossFit HQ learned of a plan by a businessman to force out the rightful CrossFit Obsession affiliate owner and steal CFHQ-purchased equipment, we immediately acted to protect the affiliate owner, Brendan Gilliam, and his co-trainer Allison Bishop. CrossFit Obsession is, and remains, an affiliate in good standing, but the former backer of that venture (Luke Hillier, who was never a CrossFit affiliate) is not welcome in our CrossFit community.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 2:07 am

So basically they took the shit this Hillier cat bought for that enterprise and absconded with it?

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 2:22 am

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:So basically they took the shit this Hillier cat bought for that enterprise and absconded with it?

Basically.

CultBuster · Post by **CultBuster** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 2:45 am

So basically they took the shit this Hillier cat bought for that enterprise and absconded with it?

CF owned the shit, but Hiller and partners always had control of the business. Blaur and these guys share physical space and the business is HUGE. Several hundred members. Not sure who will end up where, but there are like 7 affiliates in VaBeach and Couch will shell out to push these ass clowns out there and prop them up bit.

lasalle · Post by **lasalle** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 3:10 am

What in the fuck is going on over there?

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/GG_A ... review.mov

If you think he's saying anything of meaning, get to deprogramming as quickly as possible. Drunk, rambling nonsense. And they're fucking showcasing it.

rjudo · Post by **rjudo** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 3:52 am

lasalle wrote:What in the fuck is going on over there?

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/GG_A ... review.mov

If you think he's saying anything of meaning, get to deprogramming as quickly as possible. Drunk, rambling nonsense. And they're fucking showcasing it.

These clips are getting funnier every time. Bony Pudding hanging on to every word, like he's being handed the meaning of life and the mysteries of the universe.

I hope the next one gets filmed at the bar, the sheep will still suck it up.

lasalle · Post by **lasalle** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 3:59 am

Dang-that's a big gym. Look at all those $1,000 C2's at the back. And yes, at the moment I find shiny new C2's more interesting than Barky's rack. I will seek help.

http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/c ... ers_th.jpg

D'Aquisto · Post by **D'Aquisto** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 4:43 am

lasalle wrote:What in the fuck is going on over there?

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/GG_A ... review.mov

If you think he's saying anything of meaning, get to deprogramming as quickly as possible. Drunk, rambling nonsense. And they're fucking showcasing it.

Velocity and "overload concept" is critical to thoracic surgery. Obvious genius!

Jag Panzer · Post by **Jag Panzer** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 4:55 am

Couch just seems to get drunker with each video. I didn't understand a goddamn word of that.

Tom · Post by **Tom** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 10:45 am

lasalle wrote:What in the fuck is going on over there?

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/GG_A ... review.mov

If you think he's saying anything of meaning, get to deprogramming as quickly as possible. Drunk, rambling nonsense. And they're fucking showcasing it.

More being said here IMO.

dakat · Post by **dakat** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 12:24 pm

These chalkboard videos are fucking priceless. He's rocking back and forth the whole time and grabbing the knob on the side of the chalkboard for balance. I just watched it about 10 times in a row because it gets funnier every time.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:16 pm

Yeah. Plus he's wiping his nose a few times. Poor guy's got a spot of the gin flu.

Those chalkboard sessions are excellent. They use a lot of words but essentially don't say anything.

I like the concept of thoracic surgery for time, though, but not in my surgeon.

A1A BA · Post by **A1A BA** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:18 pm

From an Affiliate aplication essay:

From kettlebells to muscle ups and everything in between I was hooked. Then I introduced these concepts to my athletes at school, THEY FREAKING LOVED IT!!! Everyday became a challenge to convince them that they needed to rest a little. I had to request an additional trash can so that when kids puked, I would not have to clean it.

WTF - "had to request an addittional trash can"

If this ass bag was training my kids & I read this I would I'd go Epic Beard Man on his ass & stuff him in the fucking trash.

RPC · Post by **RPC** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:24 pm

In the CrossFit world, honor and integrity are important.

When CrossFit HQ learned of a plan by a businessman to force out the rightful CrossFit Obsession affiliate owner and steal CFHQ-purchased equipment, we immediately acted to protect the affiliate owner, Brendan Gilliam, and his co-trainer Allison Bishop. CrossFit Obsession is, and remains, an affiliate in good standing, but the former backer of that venture (Luke Hillier, who was never a CrossFit affiliate) is not welcome in our CrossFit community.

We find it unfortunate that Hillier and others claiming to be "the owners of CrossFit Obsession" have embarked on a concentrated smear campaign, comprised of lies and half-truths, intended to separate an affiliate from its membership. Do not let them. They seek only to profit from this CrossFit community, not to help it.

Simply the fact that they claim to be the "owners" of CrossFit Obsession is proof of a lie. Brendan Gilliam is the CrossFit Obsession applicant and owner of record with CFHQ. He wrote the essay and he signed the License Agreement with us; he is the L1 certified trainer. We affiliate one person only with a specific CrossFit name. Luke Hillier appears in no documentation whatsoever with CrossFit, Inc.

We will not stand idly by and allow Luke Hillier (or anyone else) to spread falsehoods through our community or file false police charges against Brendan Gilliam or any other member of our CrossFit community.

We have written proof of the deception and the intent to deceive in communications among Luke Hillier and his associates. The proof is irrefutable and we acted to save an affiliate owner from false charges. We would do so again in a heartbeat.

We will protect our own.

Unfortunately CF Fags the fact that Brendan Gilliam has licensed your CF name and not Luke doesn't mean shit. IE - He doesn't own a FUCKING BUSINESS. He just licensed the name. (FYI - This is what Barry Cooper did)

The registered agent for CF Obsession with the state of VA is Luke Hillier. Hence why Barky and BBoi will likely change the name of their affiliation. Unless CF HQ wants to file legal complaints with the state to disallow Hillier's use of the CrossFit name. Which isn't likely.

My reference information as FYI -

LLCM6150 LLC AGENT INQUIRY 08:15:22

LLC ID: S280476- 5
LLC STATUS: 00 ACTIVE
LLC NAME: CROSSFIT OBSESSION, LLC

CURRENT REGISTERED AGENT:
NAME: LUKE M HILLIER STREET: 477 VIKING DR STE 350 CITY: VIRGINIA BEACH STATE: VA ZIP: 23452-0000

STATUS: 1 MEMBER/MAN EFF DATE: 01/21/09
LOC: 228 VIRGINIA BEACH CITY OLD REGISTERED AGENT: NAME: STREET: CITY: STATE: ZIP: STATUS: EFF DATE LOC:

RPC · Post by **RPC** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:46 pm

PS - I'm speculating HQ won't fuck with Hillier as he's got the bucks to essentially trump any @fit attorney on staff.

CEO of ADS a big time Defense Contractor.

Link - http://www.usatoday.com/money/smallbusi ... inc-10.htm

Code: Select all

ADS no. 4 (Defense Contractors)
Three-year growth: 6029% 
2004 revenue: $209.4 million 
Employees: 69
Founded: 1997, Virginia Beach, Va.
What it does: Supplies body armor, helmets, and ballistic goggles to elite military combat units and federal agents. 
Why it's growing: Having worked for both the government, where he learned to read proposals, and for Oracle, where he learned how companies create them, CEO Luke Hillier knows how to play the game.

They're going the public slander route on their affiliate page as previously done, but that might come back to bite them in the ass if this dude's got time to waste and money to burn.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:54 pm

What passes for humor (maybe?) in the @F world:

Big picture link:
http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/Bro ... Pukie.html
These people are just fucked up. I was so happy that my baby girl practically never spit up anything, ever, and I'm damn glad I never felt the need to or wanted to celebrate puking from exercise.

This is disgusting and kool-aid drinkers should be ashamed (not just for this, obviously).

IGX

The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread

Re: The couch thread