IGX

Charismatic megafauna wrote:

TheCoug wrote:

Charismatic megafauna wrote:

TheCoug wrote:
True! Where are the real men? I CAN'T FIND THEM ANYWHERE!

We're fucking the hell out of the confident/smart/funny/sandwich making women...then we stay up late, watch kung-fu movies and do rec. drugs. Then we'll make them breakfast and go to the gym, or fishing or for a motorcycle ride, then we come back, fuck the (usually but not always) selfsame sandwich makers in the afternoon and take a nap.

edit: i underlined the important bits...

Jesus. Real men don't make fucking breakfast. See. I told you. Can't find them ANYWHERE.

Of course we do. But I see your problem...you get derailed at "confident/smart/funny"
i'll presume you can make a sandwich.

TheCoug wrote:I can't cook for shit. And that includes sandwiches.

Cougars seem to be all the rage these days. This older, sexually experienced, creature is a strong source of allure and intrigue for the younger males of our species. However, I have traveled to the corners of this globe in search of this legendary beast, only to find dried up, bitter skanks who hate younger men almost as much they hate the men their own age. Perhaps the sexually charged, younger man-hankering cougar is simply just a creature of myth, like the Tooth Fairy, mermaid, Sonic Burger, and sexy man-loving lesbian. Perhaps they don't really exist.

Upon approaching a cougar, you are generally greeted with a response like, "Does your mommy know where you are?" or "Isn't it past your bed time?" After they've burned you with that genius line, you can't help but think to yourself, "Oh, my mistake ladies, I forgot how awesome it is to be rapidly approaching your golden years single and alone with no one to comfort your bedside tears of self-loathing other than your cat." Or, "Oh, my mistake ladies, I forgot how awesome it is to see the rich man you desperately want to marry buying drinks for sexy 20 something's as you charge a vodka prune juice and shot of Metamucil to your AARP card."

Of course, you cannot say such things to a cougar at the risk of damaging their extremely fragile emotional state. Yet, as charming as you can bare to be, it still seems that the presence of a strapping younger man doesn't interest these women, but rather makes their vaginas dry up faster than my mouth on a 30 milligram Aderol (XR of course). You know what? That's fine. There's got to be someone else who is interested in sucking the magical youth serum out of your penis. In all actuality though, it's more likely that you will leave alone and go masturbate to the lingerie section of your mother's JC penny catalogue while the cougars return home to listen to their murder mystery novels on audio cassette.

Rant! wrote:

TheCoug wrote:I can't cook for shit. And that includes sandwiches.

That would make you just about worthless.

Rant! wrote:

TheCoug wrote:

Yes, I'm drunk wrote:The Couch Thread has gone shit again.

Every time I read your signature I laugh out loud. So, I love you.

He's quoting me coug so I guess it's me you love. What do I get?

TheCoug wrote:And whats with the marriage thing? Strong, confident men who can fuck multiple women all day long between sets of lifting heavy shit and eating everything they see would NEVER get married.

i love cougars.jpg

TheCoug wrote:being serious for a second? and i don't take this lightly?

this is an internet persona. it's a character. it has very little, or nothing, to do with real life.

OK. Carry on.

TheCoug wrote:being serious for a second? and i don't take this lightly?

this is an internet persona. it's a character. it has very little, or nothing, to do with real life.

OK. Carry on.

And whats with the marriage thing? Strong, confident men who can fuck multiple women all day long between sets of lifting heavy shit and eating everything they see would NEVER get married.

Gary John wrote:The bit was old from the start.

TheCoug wrote:being serious for a second? and i don't take this lightly?

this is an internet persona. it's a character. it has very little, or nothing, to do with real life.

OK. Carry on.

TheCoug wrote:Jesus. Real men don't make fucking breakfast.

TheCoug wrote:

Rant! wrote:

TheCoug wrote:

Yes, I'm drunk wrote:The Couch Thread has gone shit again.

Every time I read your signature I laugh out loud. So, I love you.

He's quoting me coug so I guess it's me you love. What do I get?

Oh. Last one.

It depends what you look like.

Yes I Have Balls wrote:

Gary John wrote:The bit was old from the start.

Exactly. And the older she gets, the younger the female competition gets.

For her sake, I hope having abs at the expense of being lonely equals out.

spider monkey wrote:

And whats with the marriage thing? Strong, confident men who can fuck multiple women all day long between sets of lifting heavy shit and eating everything they see would NEVER get married.

I can tell you haven't spent much time studying men. They are endlessly fascinating and do not think the same way women do.

TheCoug wrote:And whats with the marriage thing? Strong, confident men who can fuck multiple women all day long between sets of lifting heavy shit and eating everything they see would NEVER get married.

Keep it up guys. You will drive me away. And I know you don't want to do that.

i love cougars.jpg

Holeyfraggaroley wrote:

TheCoug wrote:And whats with the marriage thing? Strong, confident men who can fuck multiple women all day long between sets of lifting heavy shit and eating everything they see would NEVER get married.

Keep it up guys. You will drive me away. And I know you don't want to do that.

i love cougars.jpg

Don't let the door hit you in the ass. I can't say that you have brought much to the table, so its no real loss.

TheCoug wrote:

spider monkey wrote:

And whats with the marriage thing? Strong, confident men who can fuck multiple women all day long between sets of lifting heavy shit and eating everything they see would NEVER get married.

I can tell you haven't spent much time studying men. They are endlessly fascinating and do not think the same way women do.

Totally agree. More fun than studying them is taking them for a test drive.

spider monkey wrote:

TheCoug wrote:

spider monkey wrote:

And whats with the marriage thing? Strong, confident men who can fuck multiple women all day long between sets of lifting heavy shit and eating everything they see would NEVER get married.

I can tell you haven't spent much time studying men. They are endlessly fascinating and do not think the same way women do.

Totally agree. More fun than studying them is taking them for a test drive.

The test drive is so much better if you do your homework first.