The couch thread

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:07 pm

How fitting. From the affiliate blog the other day:
Making Your 15 Minutes of Fame Last
@F and R@@bok are doing what they can to screw it up, what with their amateur "journalists" and mandated clothing rules.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:39 pm

Oh dear! The "fittest person on earth" competition is in danger of becoming .... "the fittest person on earth wearing Reebok apparel"!

This might royally ruin the honest search for the fittest person in the world!

The Ginger Beard Man · Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:04 pm

What's the ruckus about? Competitors in real sports are required to wear uniforms. Period. And they are generally not allowed to just rip off their shirts and play bare chested. Crossfitters are a bunch of spoiled whiny babies who don't know shit about real sports.
Imagine the Williams sisters playing Wimbledon in sports bras.
A shirts vs skins NBA Final.
The Yankees taking the field without their shirts.
Get real.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:27 pm

Grim wrote: Imagine the Williams sisters playing Wimbledon in sports bras.

Problem here is...what, precisely?

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:32 pm

tzg wrote:Who's willing to bet that the people running those competitions will be persona au gratin because they published an account of how HQ does business?

Is Couch going to smother them with cheese and bread crumbs?

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 4:17 pm

Grim wrote:What's the ruckus about? Competitors in real sports are required to wear uniforms. Period. And they are generally not allowed to just rip off their shirts and play bare chested.

True. They are required to wear an outfit that conforms to the standards laid down by the organization. Singlets in WL and OL. If @FHQ says that they can go shirtless, then that's their rules.

Crossfitters are a bunch of spoiled whiny babies who don't know shit about real sports.

This is true of most of the rank & file. The people kicking ass at "the sport of exercise" usually come from some upper level of previous sporting experience.

Imagine the Williams sisters playing Wimbledon in sports bras.
A shirts vs skins NBA Final.
The Yankees taking the field without their shirts.
Get real.

Boxing. MMA. Beach volleyball.

The issue is mainly that they cannot represent their "team", or affiliate. They can't put their own sponsors on their outfit. If the clothes don't fit, they only have the option of ditching the shirt and wearing different shoes. This is not the case with any other sport, where the competitor gets to choose their gear (as long as it is OK with the standards) and their sponsors.

Unless someone wants to sponsor the entire gaymes and get onto R@@bok's state-approved apparel, no one else gets represented. Smaller businesses that want exposure can't get any.

Most importantly, affiliates don't get to get noticed/advertised (via t-shirt exposure) for the competitors that were already very athletic before they found @F, so that then the affiliate can act like it was their (ahem) "programming" that turned them into a BEAST MODE EXERCISER.

By doing this, R@@bok is reinforcing the cultishness of the whole situation.

Cave Canem · Post by **Cave Canem** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 4:18 pm

Grim wrote:What's the ruckus about? Competitors in real sports are required to wear uniforms. Period. And they are generally not allowed to just rip off their shirts and play bare chested. Crossfitters are a bunch of spoiled whiny babies who don't know shit about real sports.
Imagine the Williams sisters playing Wimbledon in sports bras.
A shirts vs skins NBA Final.
The Yankees taking the field without their shirts.
Get real.

1. You can't compare this to real sports.
2. It's not a team sport like football or baseball but more akin to golf, where players can wear whatever company is sponsoring them personally and not the tour sponsor.
3. Being able to showcase your silly skulls and crossbones box t-shirts is actually good marketing for the individual boxes. But HQ has shown in the past that they will work to the detriment of their affiliates if it makes their wallets fatter.

and finally,

4. This is just a sinister plot to keep all the Team Gorilla stuff off the radar

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 4:27 pm

Cave Canem wrote:
Grim wrote:What's the ruckus about? Competitors in real sports are required to wear uniforms. Period. And they are generally not allowed to just rip off their shirts and play bare chested. Crossfitters are a bunch of spoiled whiny babies who don't know shit about real sports.
Imagine the Williams sisters playing Wimbledon in sports bras.
A shirts vs skins NBA Final.
The Yankees taking the field without their shirts.
Get real.
1. You can't compare this to real sports.
2. It's not a team sport like football or baseball but more akin to golf, where players can wear whatever company is sponsoring them personally and not the tour sponsor.
3. Being able to showcase your silly skulls and crossbones box t-shirts is actually good marketing for the individual boxes. But HQ has shown in the past that they will work to the detriment of their affiliates if it makes their wallets fatter.

and finally,

4. This is just a sinister plot to keep all the Team Gorilla stuff off the radar

Fucking EXACTLY.

http://www.dramabutton.com/

Cave Canem · Post by **Cave Canem** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 4:37 pm

The most entertaining thing about @fit is the bottomless well of inanity that we get to draw from......

http://www.crossfitsiouxfalls.com/i-hate-you-crossfit/

CrossFit, I hate you for making me want everyone to CrossFit. I hate that I wonder why anyone would not CrossFit, at least in some form, somewhere, regularly. I hate that you make me believe CrossFit is for everyone, every body type, every athlete no matter how athletic or un-athletic, every age whether child or great grandparent. I hate that I see a good athlete and wonder why they do not want to be an even better athlete. I hate that I see a very de-conditioned person and wonder “why not try?” See CrossFit can be done anywhere, anytime and with anyone. Though I needed to join an actual CrossFit, anyone can do it. The workouts are everywhere and free. The equipment available. The space unlimited. There are no excuses if you need fitness not to CrossFit. And because of this CrossFit, you make me think everyone should CrossFit.

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 5:03 pm

2012 Crossfit Games Fantasy League?!

=D>

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:18 pm

I can't let this go to waste in another thread.
http://irongarmx.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.p ... 27#p585527

Gin Master wrote:Open letter to CrossFit Select.

June 21, 2011
Sent via certified message board post to CrossFit Select

Re: Unauthorized and Uncredited Use of Knowledges

Dear CrossFit Select:

It has recently come to the attention of Irongarm (“IGX”) and the Lord Shafmongolus and various iterations thereof (“Shaf”) that CrossFit Select (“@F Select”) is using programming developed by Shaf (“Ladder Program”) and originally published, in various forms, on Power & Bulk (“Teh Pibbs”), Dan John’s “Get Up,” and IGX without proper authorization or citation. You are using a ladder program that was developed by somebody else and are passing it off as your own.

It is well settled that CrossFitters, though claiming “eleetness,” are weaker than a kitten with AIDS. See Castro v. 405-lb Deadlift. It is also well settled that @Fers are illiterate, attention-seeking douchebags. See @F Shoreline v. The English Language; In re ANYC. While the desire to get strong and blog about it is the desire of every @Fer, it is unlawful to appropriate a program written by a legitimately strong athlete, spoon feed it to your sheep, and pass it off as your own.

As you are aware, Shaf is a Power Bear icon loved the world over—at least in the old Rebel states and the midwest. He is an accomplished iron game postulator and highly sought after interweb commentator. His ebooks already have dozens of five star reviews even though he has yet to publish, despite his not a member of the Dragon Back-Door Huckster Review Conspiracy (“RKC”).

Shaf stands to suffer considerable and irreparable harm if he is not properly credited for his work. If you are going to plagiarize his program and watch your @Fers get stronger, please reference Shaf in your blog posts. If you are going to plunge one hand in his pocket to steal his resources, then give him a reach-around with your free hand or, at the very least, a Dutch Rudder.

As the great Justice Scalia said, “Give a nigga his propz.”

Very Truly Yours,

GM
The Irongarm Law Firm
“Overflowing with foul-mouthed legalese in at least seven states”

=D> =D> =D> =D> =D>

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:38 pm

So much of the wrong with @F all in one place in this video:
http://games.crossfit.com/features/vide ... -hand-tear

The Ginger Beard Man · Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:40 pm

Captain Quack wrote:I can't let this go to waste in another thread.
http://irongarmx.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.p ... 27#p585527
Gin Master wrote:Open letter to CrossFit Select.

June 21, 2011
Sent via certified message board post to CrossFit Select

Re: Unauthorized and Uncredited Use of Knowledges

Dear CrossFit Select:

It has recently come to the attention of Irongarm (“IGX”) and the Lord Shafmongolus and various iterations thereof (“Shaf”) that CrossFit Select (“@F Select”) is using programming developed by Shaf (“Ladder Program”) and originally published, in various forms, on Power & Bulk (“Teh Pibbs”), Dan John’s “Get Up,” and IGX without proper authorization or citation. You are using a ladder program that was developed by somebody else and are passing it off as your own.

It is well settled that CrossFitters, though claiming “eleetness,” are weaker than a kitten with AIDS. See Castro v. 405-lb Deadlift. It is also well settled that @Fers are illiterate, attention-seeking douchebags. See @F Shoreline v. The English Language; In re ANYC. While the desire to get strong and blog about it is the desire of every @Fer, it is unlawful to appropriate a program written by a legitimately strong athlete, spoon feed it to your sheep, and pass it off as your own.

As you are aware, Shaf is a Power Bear icon loved the world over—at least in the old Rebel states and the midwest. He is an accomplished iron game postulator and highly sought after interweb commentator. His ebooks already have dozens of five star reviews even though he has yet to publish, despite his not a member of the Dragon Back-Door Huckster Review Conspiracy (“RKC”).

Shaf stands to suffer considerable and irreparable harm if he is not properly credited for his work. If you are going to plagiarize his program and watch your @Fers get stronger, please reference Shaf in your blog posts. If you are going to plunge one hand in his pocket to steal his resources, then give him a reach-around with your free hand or, at the very least, a Dutch Rudder.

As the great Justice Scalia said, “Give a nigga his propz.”

Very Truly Yours,

GM
The Irongarm Law Firm
“Overflowing with foul-mouthed legalese in at least seven states”
=D> =D> =D> =D> =D>

I second the clappy hands.

The Ginger Beard Man · Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:41 pm

Cave Canem wrote:4. This is just a sinister plot to keep all the Team Gorilla stuff off the radar

If this is the case, then I am fucking outraged.
Otherwise, I don't give a shit. Fuck @Fit and @Fitters and their silly bullshit.

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 7:55 pm

Speaking of law firms, whatever happened to the RRG money?

Crust Bucket · Post by **Crust Bucket** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:25 pm

Yes I Have Balls wrote:Speaking of law firms, whatever happened to the RRG money?

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:35 pm

ErinAndrews
On my way to tryout Crossfit in NYC for my @Selfmagazine shoot tom..kinda scared..glad the peanut @CarlySchencker is here..
41 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply

tzg · Post by **tzg** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 10:42 pm

Gin Master wrote:
tzg wrote:Who's willing to bet that the people running those competitions will be persona au gratin because they published an account of how HQ does business?
Is Couch going to smother them with cheese and bread crumbs?

Yes, though, seriously, I'd like to see some of them naked and covered in grits... The female ones. That still have racks.

Shapecharge · Post by **Shapecharge** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 11:24 pm

Captain Quack wrote:So much of the wrong with @F all in one place in this video:
http://games.crossfit.com/features/vide ... -hand-tear

What the fuck is with that monster chick in the green short-shorts? She's a fuckin' hoss.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:47 am

Yes I Have Balls wrote:
ErinAndrews
On my way to tryout Crossfit in NYC for my @Selfmagazine shoot tom..kinda scared..glad the peanut @CarlySchencker is here..
41 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Too bad most of those metrosexual fucks at the Black Box won't know who she is.

sanchezero · Post by **sanchezero** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:20 am

WildGorillaMan wrote:@fitters are going fucking bonkers that competitors at the Games are forbidden from wearing shirts from their affiliates or any sportswear made by anyone that isn't Reebok.

I have already had conference calls with Reebok about their bs... I was told point blank and I have it in writing that if I refuse to wear the Reebok provided clothes, I will not be allowed to compete... While I can't stand being manipulated, my entire livelihood is built around my CF affiliate. This is scary stuff.
...
Women are required to wear the Reebok sports bra, shorts, t-shirt and tank. I could take my shirt off, but I would still be wearing the reebok shit underneath. They told me I could wear funky socks (provided there are no logos on them) and my own shoes...so nice of them. It's BS.
Are t-shirts and apparel rules going to be the straw that broke the camel's back?

it's quite possible, since fashion (re affliction, lululemon, etc) seems to be 40% of what makes crassfit crassfit.

sanchezero · Post by **sanchezero** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:21 am

Gin Master wrote:
tzg wrote:Who's willing to bet that the people running those competitions will be persona au gratin because they published an account of how HQ does business?
Is Couch going to smother them with cheese and bread crumbs?

don't be stupid - that would only inhibit the absorption of the alcohol directly into couch's blood.

Gary John · Post by **Gary John** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:31 am

Gin Master,

Good work. The law firm that represented GetUp, Sue and the Jews, will get right on it.
That is, if their parole hearing goes well.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:35 am

not going to look back in the thread to see who posted that they need to suck it up and wear the "uniform"...

This is a "barbell" sport for lack of a better word....

In PL you wear the gear of your choice, shoe of your choice and as long as it conforms with the rules of the organization, all is ok.

Strongman is the same

@fit should be the same as well and being that Reebok and Hpuke are now laying the law down and making sure everyone is following the company line, its even more of a joke.

I see no problem with someone wearing whatever shorts they want, but I do kind of understand them wanting the competitors to wear Reebok shirts for visibility. Hell, maybe Reebok should suck it up and have custom affiliate shirts made for the gaymes competitors so they can show where they are from as well as sport the sponsor.

Shit, why not make an official @fit gaymes shirt with the major sponsors like Rogue, Again Faster, etc. with Reebok being the ones that actually make the shirts and their logo prominently displayed.

I see no major issue with that, and they will keep the spirit of the gaymes there with the smaller sponsors that have been there since day one, the individuality of each competitor with their name and affiliation, along with the Reebok logo on it.

But then again you can make the argument that in other individual sports they wear their individual sponsor's gear on their chests and the actual event is sponsored. I can see both sides but IMO Reebok and Hpuke should allow the competitors to wear their own sponsors clothing and have enough Reebok visibility around the event which will give them the exposure they want without seeming like a bunch of assholes and making people wear their shitty gear.

what is Reebok going to do when the first dude rips his shirt off before a workout? Follow him with a tattoo gun to make sure a Reebok logo is across his back?

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:45 am

The shirtless shit is just major douchbag pandering.

IGX

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