The couch thread

Topics without replies are pruned every 365 days. Not moderated.

Moderator: Dux


Mountebank
Sgt. Major
Posts: 3439
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 6:59 pm
Location: Somewhere else

Re: The couch thread

Post by Mountebank »

More pseudo-warrior hate fodder.
http://journal.crossfit.com/2011/07/the ... ticleTitle
I took the name of this article from a book by John Keegan. The book describes three epic battles: Agincourt, Waterloo and the Somme. For me, the centerpiece was the Battle of Agincourt, a 15th-century English victory over the French during the Hundred Years’ War. Keegan’s message about Agincourt was clear: war is ugly. It’s full of mud and rain and broken wagons and body parts and shit and piss and blood and dead animals and dead people—stacks of dead people. Friction assails you at every opportunity, making the easy difficult and the difficult seemingly impossible.

Yep, sounds a lot like CrossFit.
Pretty sure this guy was a Marine too. :vom:


TerryB
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 9697
Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 1:17 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

kreator wrote: If you don’t like that, tell the owner of “Globo-Gym” we said hi.

Why does Crossfit always create some ridiculous false dichotomy?
Chris Cooper inadvertently stumbled upon the answer, which also happens to be a foundational Cultfit principle:
giving your members something to rally against will probably work out really well in the long run....

Comment #2 - Posted by: Chris Cooper at July 5, 2011 3:49 AM
How prescient, Chris! :toimonster:

from that albanycultfist blog:
some dude wrote:Four years ago Mark Rippetoe was talking about drinking a gallon of milk a day and disparaging steroid users on videos posted on the main site. Up until recently, anyone adding curls to CF programming would be laughed out of the room. Today, Louie Simmons, a steroid evangelist, is our new powerlifting guru, the “gallon of milk a day while you do Starting Strength before starting Crossfit” trend is pretty much dead, and some of the most accomplished and respected affiliates are adding single joint movements to their programming and achieving great results by doing so. This is because Crossfit evolves as it collects more data points.
Image

Got nothing to do with "data points," mate. Crossfit "evolving" is Crossfit being disproved over and over and over and over and over.... A discerning chap might conclude that, if Crossfit keeps changing, it was never correct to begin with.
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"

Image


Gin Master
Sgt. Major
Posts: 3024
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:41 am

Re: The couch thread

Post by Gin Master »

protobuilder wrote:
some dude wrote:Four years ago Mark Rippetoe was talking about drinking a gallon of milk a day and disparaging steroid users on videos posted on the main site. Up until recently, anyone adding curls to CF programming would be laughed out of the room. Today, Louie Simmons, a steroid evangelist, is our new powerlifting guru, the “gallon of milk a day while you do Starting Strength before starting Crossfit” trend is pretty much dead, and some of the most accomplished and respected affiliates are adding single joint movements to their programming and achieving great results by doing so. This is because Crossfit evolves as it collects more data points.
Got nothing to do with "data points," mate. Crossfit "evolving" is Crossfit being disproved over and over and over and over and over.... A discerning chap might conclude that, if Crossfit keeps changing, it was never correct to begin with.
Eventually @F will "evolve" to the point where PED use is rampant, and workouts consist of strength work, supplemental work, and short finishers. We can all thank Couch for this revolutionary concept.


Mountebank
Sgt. Major
Posts: 3439
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 6:59 pm
Location: Somewhere else

Re: The couch thread

Post by Mountebank »

Gin Master wrote:
protobuilder wrote:
some dude wrote:Four years ago Mark Rippetoe was talking about drinking a gallon of milk a day and disparaging steroid users on videos posted on the main site. Up until recently, anyone adding curls to CF programming would be laughed out of the room. Today, Louie Simmons, a steroid evangelist, is our new powerlifting guru, the “gallon of milk a day while you do Starting Strength before starting Crossfit” trend is pretty much dead, and some of the most accomplished and respected affiliates are adding single joint movements to their programming and achieving great results by doing so. This is because Crossfit evolves as it collects more data points.
Got nothing to do with "data points," mate. Crossfit "evolving" is Crossfit being disproved over and over and over and over and over.... A discerning chap might conclude that, if Crossfit keeps changing, it was never correct to begin with.
Eventually @F will "evolve" to the point where PED use is rampant, and workouts consist of strength work, supplemental work, and short finishers. We can all thank Couch for this revolutionary concept.
I like how @F is referred to as "it" in the bolded section, like it's the Borg or something "collecting data points".

I can hazard a guess as to why @F moved on from Rippetoe to Westside. Westside is cool with only taking their money (not getting into training debates), they're PED-friendly, they rotate their exercises often, and gives the @Fers new equipment to pursue so that they all can struggle to "keep up with the Joneses".


Gin Master
Sgt. Major
Posts: 3024
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:41 am

Re: The couch thread

Post by Gin Master »

WildGorillaMan wrote:Xtranormal videos are the new Downfall remixes.

"I am going to get wasted on hard liquor before I head to the crossfit regional competition. I am supposed judge the thruster ladder. I will probably get so drunk that I will shit my pants a little and call failed reps on the most elite athletes just to piss them off."

=D> =D> =D>


TerryB
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 9697
Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 1:17 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

Gin Master wrote: Eventually @F will "evolve" to the point where PED use is rampant, and workouts consist of strength work, supplemental work, and short finishers. We can all thank Couch for this revolutionary concept.
Don't forget to thank him for his contributions to medical understanding of rhabdo. Without him and his ingenious ideas, rhabdo would still be relatively unheard of.
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"

Image

User avatar

Schlegel
Top
Posts: 2161
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 11:21 pm
Location: Virginia

Re: The couch thread

Post by Schlegel »

Don't remember if I mentioned this at the time, but a while back my wife reconnected with a girl from her high school on Facebook. The firefighter husband was in the hospital with rhabdo from, of course, @fit.
"Why do we need a kitchen when we have a phone?"

User avatar

Cave Canem
Top
Posts: 1377
Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2010 10:24 pm
Location: Somebody's dog house somewhere.

Re: The couch thread

Post by Cave Canem »

I took the name of this article from a book by John Keegan. The book describes three epic battles: Agincourt, Waterloo and the Somme. For me, the centerpiece was the Battle of Agincourt, a 15th-century English victory over the French during the Hundred Years’ War. Keegan’s message about Agincourt was clear: war is ugly. It’s full of mud and rain and broken wagons and body parts and shit and piss and blood and dead animals and dead people—stacks of dead people. Friction assails you at every opportunity, making the easy difficult and the difficult seemingly impossible.

Yep, sounds a lot like CrossFit.
Pretty sure this guy was a Marine too. :vom:
Sweet monkey fucking gorilla jeebus !

Sometimes when I read Jay's posts I wonder why the hate is so strong in him, then I see shit like this and understand.
Tantum validus superstes

User avatar

Songjabong
Staff Sergeant
Posts: 379
Joined: Fri Jan 28, 2011 4:08 pm
Location: Right Next Door to Hell

Re: The couch thread

Post by Songjabong »

Crossfit, making the easy difficult and the difficult impossible since 1995.
Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.

User avatar

GoDogGo!
IGX Honorary Lesbian
Posts: 11208
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2005 1:10 am
Location: Casa de Culo

Re: The couch thread

Post by GoDogGo! »

Captain Quack wrote:More pseudo-warrior hate fodder.
http://journal.crossfit.com/2011/07/the ... ticleTitle
I took the name of this article from a book by John Keegan. The book describes three epic battles: Agincourt, Waterloo and the Somme. For me, the centerpiece was the Battle of Agincourt, a 15th-century English victory over the French during the Hundred Years’ War. Keegan’s message about Agincourt was clear: war is ugly. It’s full of mud and rain and broken wagons and body parts and shit and piss and blood and dead animals and dead people—stacks of dead people. Friction assails you at every opportunity, making the easy difficult and the difficult seemingly impossible.

Yep, sounds a lot like CrossFit.
Pretty sure this guy was a Marine too. :vom:
Agincourt? Fuck. The lessons of Agincourt were:

1. Don't forget the longbows!
2. Cavalry doesn't work for shit when the field is filling up with bodies so fast (see Lesson #1) that your horses can't run across it.
The flesh is weak, and the smell of pussy is strong like a muthafucka.

User avatar

Yes I Have Balls
Top
Posts: 2431
Joined: Wed Dec 02, 2009 4:05 pm
Location: Wherever they's a fight so hungry people can eat

Re: The couch thread

Post by Yes I Have Balls »

GoDogGo! wrote:1. Don't forget the longbows!
Longbows, indeed!

Image

User avatar

WildGorillaMan
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 9951
Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:01 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

lasalle wrote: What we've learned here is that if someone posts a negative yelp review on an affiliate (and it really wasn't all that harsh), you get:

HQ jumping in and calling it "the Yelp incident": http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/2 ... 10705.html

This is what infuriates me about HQ. When there's a low-level monkey shitfight or a magazine article that is remotely critical of @fit they don't hesitate to wade into the fray, siccing their sockpuppets and attack Chihuahuas on whomsoever has besmirched their honor.

But in grave situations, like when a trainee dropped dead mid-WOD from an undiagnosed medical condition they don't say fucking boo. They turtle up and go to great lengths to make sure that none of the shit sticks to their own fur.

When tragedy strikes you always know where they'll be: in the bunker. With the door bolted from the inside.
Image
You'll Hurt Your Back

basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.

User avatar

syaigh
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 5884
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:29 am
Location: Surrounded by short irrational people

Re: The couch thread

Post by syaigh »

WildGorillaMan wrote:
lasalle wrote: What we've learned here is that if someone posts a negative yelp review on an affiliate (and it really wasn't all that harsh), you get:

HQ jumping in and calling it "the Yelp incident": http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/2 ... 10705.html

This is what infuriates me about HQ. When there's a low-level monkey shitfight or a magazine article that is remotely critical of @fit they don't hesitate to wade into the fray, siccing their sockpuppets and attack Chihuahuas on whomsoever has besmirched their honor.

But in grave situations, like when a trainee dropped dead mid-WOD from an undiagnosed medical condition they don't say fucking boo. They turtle up and go to great lengths to make sure that none of the shit sticks to their own fur.

When tragedy strikes you always know where they'll be: in the bunker. With the door bolted from the inside.
Hey, remember Sasha? Wasn't she the one who posted the removed review on Yelp?

Hey Sasha, care to repost here?
Miss Piggy wrote:Never eat more than you can lift.

User avatar

friedquads
Pillowbiter
Posts: 1782
Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:50 am

Re: The couch thread

Post by friedquads »

WildGorillaMan wrote:
lasalle wrote: What we've learned here is that if someone posts a negative yelp review on an affiliate (and it really wasn't all that harsh), you get:

HQ jumping in and calling it "the Yelp incident": http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/2 ... 10705.html

This is what infuriates me about HQ. When there's a low-level monkey shitfight or a magazine article that is remotely critical of @fit they don't hesitate to wade into the fray, siccing their sockpuppets and attack Chihuahuas on whomsoever has besmirched their honor.

But in grave situations, like when a trainee dropped dead mid-WOD from an undiagnosed medical condition they don't say fucking boo. They turtle up and go to great lengths to make sure that none of the shit sticks to their own fur.

When tragedy strikes you always know where they'll be: in the bunker. With the door bolted from the inside.
The @Fit Genesso situation still pisses me off. IGx had more sympathy for Dede Whitwood than any of those fucks over in their so-called "community".
Jay wrote:BTW, warriors kill shit. The only things you kill are exercise science and the board short display at Target.
I choose to kill people with kindness. Oh, I should also mention "kindness" is the name of my samurai sword.

User avatar

Jay
Top
Posts: 1908
Joined: Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:44 pm
Location: Tornado Alley

Re: The couch thread

Post by Jay »

Cave Canem wrote:
I took the name of this article from a book by John Keegan. The book describes three epic battles: Agincourt, Waterloo and the Somme. For me, the centerpiece was the Battle of Agincourt, a 15th-century English victory over the French during the Hundred Years’ War. Keegan’s message about Agincourt was clear: war is ugly. It’s full of mud and rain and broken wagons and body parts and shit and piss and blood and dead animals and dead people—stacks of dead people. Friction assails you at every opportunity, making the easy difficult and the difficult seemingly impossible.

Yep, sounds a lot like CrossFit.
Pretty sure this guy was a Marine too. :vom:
Sweet monkey fucking gorilla jeebus !

Sometimes when I read Jay's posts I wonder why the hate is so strong in him, then I see shit like this and understand.
Exactly... shit like this and them all of a sudden talking about single-joint movements and data points... motherfuckers are so arrogant and idiotic they need a buttend of a shotgun to the face.

User avatar

Jay
Top
Posts: 1908
Joined: Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:44 pm
Location: Tornado Alley

Re: The couch thread

Post by Jay »

Just when I think @fit and @fitters can't get any more asinine and retarded.... they do.

User avatar

Jay
Top
Posts: 1908
Joined: Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:44 pm
Location: Tornado Alley

Re: The couch thread

Post by Jay »

WildGorillaMan wrote:
lasalle wrote: What we've learned here is that if someone posts a negative yelp review on an affiliate (and it really wasn't all that harsh), you get:

HQ jumping in and calling it "the Yelp incident": http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/2 ... 10705.html

This is what infuriates me about HQ. When there's a low-level monkey shitfight or a magazine article that is remotely critical of @fit they don't hesitate to wade into the fray, siccing their sockpuppets and attack Chihuahuas on whomsoever has besmirched their honor.

But in grave situations, like when a trainee dropped dead mid-WOD from an undiagnosed medical condition they don't say fucking boo. They turtle up and go to great lengths to make sure that none of the shit sticks to their own fur.

When tragedy strikes you always know where they'll be: in the bunker. With the door bolted from the inside.
That's because the affiliate blog is written by Lis Darsh, the hypocritical sack of shit.

That raging cunt acts high and mighty about "taking the high road" and ignoring the negative, but she fans the flames with some of her fucking moronic blog posts and posting about the Yelp review... oh but she says, focus on the positive kids!!!!!!! Hey, Pete Rose lookalike Lis, that means IGNORE THE NEGATIVE AND DON'T TALK ABOUT IT... deep down inside she needs people like us, she wants negativity so she can look like she is being positive while watching her little sheep lash out and she'll enjoy it.

WGM, I honestly don't know how you do this with the Friday updates and all the @fit fan club you have, those people are hypocrites and a joke... almost everyone of them are. They talk about you and follow you like you are a long lost buddy when most of them have no idea where you started, they buy your shirts and throw money in your pocket when you openly mock them. Hell at least you don't do @fit... that sack of fuck, Drywall, does and he has the balls to try to make fun of what he does in a way that is more than parody.

User avatar

WildGorillaMan
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 9951
Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:01 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Jay wrote: They talk about you and follow you like you are a long lost buddy when most of them have no idea where you started,
Oh, they know. How do you think this thread got to a million and a half views? This thread is like the supermarket tabloids of @fit. People pretend that they don't read them, but they definitely do.

Besides, the ones that are down with Team Gorilla are the ones with a sense of humor. The Gorilla is not exactly universally adored in all @fit circles. Let's just say there's a better chance of couch joining AA than there is of there ever being a WildGorillaWear kiosk selling shirts at the Games.
Image
You'll Hurt Your Back

basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.

User avatar

Jay
Top
Posts: 1908
Joined: Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:44 pm
Location: Tornado Alley

Re: The couch thread

Post by Jay »

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Jay wrote: They talk about you and follow you like you are a long lost buddy when most of them have no idea where you started,
Oh, they know. How do you think this thread got to a million and a half views? This thread is like the supermarket tabloids of @fit. People pretend that they don't read them, but they definitely do.

Besides, the ones that are down with Team Gorilla are the ones with a sense of humor. The Gorilla is not exactly universally adored in all @fit circles. Let's just say there's a better chance of couch joining AA than there is of there ever being a WildGorillaWear kiosk selling shirts at the Games.
you got a good point, I couldn't do what you do, I would want to choke a bitch every fucking day.

User avatar

ledfistaco
Gunny
Posts: 652
Joined: Thu Jan 04, 2007 4:27 pm
Location: brooklyn, ny

Re: The couch thread

Post by ledfistaco »

Jay wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:
Jay wrote: They talk about you and follow you like you are a long lost buddy when most of them have no idea where you started,
Oh, they know. How do you think this thread got to a million and a half views? This thread is like the supermarket tabloids of @fit. People pretend that they don't read them, but they definitely do.

Besides, the ones that are down with Team Gorilla are the ones with a sense of humor. The Gorilla is not exactly universally adored in all @fit circles. Let's just say there's a better chance of couch joining AA than there is of there ever being a WildGorillaWear kiosk selling shirts at the Games.
you got a good point, I couldn't do what you do, I would want to choke a bitch every fucking day.
I bet plenty would like that.

User avatar

Cave Canem
Top
Posts: 1377
Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2010 10:24 pm
Location: Somebody's dog house somewhere.

Re: The couch thread

Post by Cave Canem »

lisak.png
lisak.png (35.08 KiB) Viewed 7477 times

Does it get any dumber than this ? Bad leg, slap tear, bad ankle but WOD on, sister."Your workout is our rehab !"
Tantum validus superstes


I'd Hit It
Sarge
Posts: 213
Joined: Wed Dec 02, 2009 1:25 am

Re: The couch thread

Post by I'd Hit It »

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Jay wrote: Besides, the ones that are down with Team Gorilla are the ones with a sense of humor. The Gorilla is not exactly universally adored in all @fit circles. Let's just say there's a better chance of couch joining AA than there is of there ever being a WildGorillaWear kiosk selling shirts at the Games.
Or they suffer from the same cognitive dissonance as Drywall, driven by their deep-seated need to be attention whores. "Oh, it's just all in good fun PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE POST A PICTURE OF ME HERE ARE MY TITS!!!!!!"


JohnnyBadAss
Staff Sergeant
Posts: 263
Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 5:52 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by JohnnyBadAss »

Cave Canem wrote:Does it get any dumber than this ? Bad leg, slap tear, bad ankle but WOD on, sister."Your workout is our rehab !"
If I were an orthopedic surgeon, I'd have an advertisement in and around every CrossFit gym in a 50-mile radius.

User avatar

powerlifter54
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 7976
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2005 5:46 pm
Location: TX

Re: The couch thread

Post by powerlifter54 »

Web Gems. BZ WGM

Image

Image
"Start slowly, then ease off". Tortuga Golden Striders Running Club, Pensacola 1984.

"But even snake wrestling beats life in the cube, for me at least. In measured doses."-Lex

User avatar

Holland Oates
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 14137
Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2008 8:32 am
Location: GAWD'S Country
Contact:

Re: The couch thread

Post by Holland Oates »

Holy gorilla jeebus that second pic is gold.
Southern Hospitality Is Aggressive Hospitality

Post Reply