The couch thread

Testiclaw · Post by **Testiclaw** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:06 pm

It's okay, Dan, it's okay.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:09 pm

Crassman was the best.... everyone else is just imitation...

Sarcastic @fit facebook posters are the new black

Hymen Asshole · Post by **Hymen Asshole** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:49 pm

28 minutes of @faggotry on this link and couch himself @2:37
http://games.crossfit.com/video/crossfi ... e-pre-show
Can't wait to see the first workout today at 5pm pst

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:17 pm

Hymen Asshole wrote:28 minutes of @faggotry on this link and couch himself @2:37
http://games.crossfit.com/video/crossfi ... e-pre-show
Can't wait to see the first workout today at 5pm pst

"The importance is not the veracity of the claim but that you're willing to do it next year."
-Couch

CFB · Post by **CFB** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:15 pm

Gin Master wrote: "The importance is not the veracity of the claim but that you're willing to do it next year."
-Couch

wha?
Is he talking about rehab?

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:20 pm

No, his willingness to let Lisa put her teeth on him again.

Jonny Canuck · Post by **Jonny Canuck** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 8:38 pm

The Open starts in a few hours and already people are confused. I don't know why, the instructions are clear as mud.

Whoever is managing the CrossFit Games competition for an Affiliate will need to have a registered Athlete Profile. This person may be the owner of the Affiliate or someone tasked with managing the Affiliate for the CrossFit Games competition. If someone other than the Affiliate owner will be the acting manager for the Games, the Affiliate owner does not need to have a registered Athlete account. There can be only one managing profile per Affiliate.

To become an Affiliate Manager:

1) Create a CrossFit Games profile or log in at http://games.crossfit.com/mygames. You can also follow the "Sign In" button on http://games.crossfit.com.

2) If you are not already a registered Athlete, register as an Athlete through your CrossFit Games profile by clicking "Register NOW for the Open!"

3) You will need to be a member of your Affiliate. Upon completion of the registration process, you may choose your Affiliate by clicking on "Select Your Affiliate" on your profile page.

4) Once a member of your Affiliate and logged into your profile page, click the link, "Are you the affiliate manager for [Affiliate Name]?"

5) Follow the on-screen instructions and enter the email address on record for the Affiliate.

6) In the inbox of the address on record will be an email with the subject "Games 2012 Affiliate Manager Access." If it is not there within the hour, check the spam folder.

7) If you are the Affiliate Manager for the CrossFit Games competition and do not have access to the email address on record, arrange to have that email forwarded to you by someone who does have access.

8) Follow the link provided in the email, and log in. If you are already logged in, a new tab or window will be brought up, taking you to the Affiliate Management page.

9) After your account is verified as the manager, you can always return to the Affiliate Management page by following the "Manage Your Affiliate" link on your profile.

The Crawdaddy · Post by **The Crawdaddy** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:26 pm

Freakin' minestrone on rye.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:33 pm

Jonny Canuck wrote:The Open starts in a few hours and already people are confused. I don't know why, the instructions are clear as mud.

Whoever is managing the CrossFit Games competition for an Affiliate will need to have a registered Athlete Profile. This person may be the owner of the Affiliate or someone tasked with managing the Affiliate for the CrossFit Games competition. If someone other than the Affiliate owner will be the acting manager for the Games, the Affiliate owner does not need to have a registered Athlete account. There can be only one managing profile per Affiliate.

To become an Affiliate Manager:

1) Create a CrossFit Games profile or log in at http://games.crossfit.com/mygames. You can also follow the "Sign In" button on http://games.crossfit.com.

2) If you are not already a registered Athlete, register as an Athlete through your CrossFit Games profile by clicking "Register NOW for the Open!"

3) You will need to be a member of your Affiliate. Upon completion of the registration process, you may choose your Affiliate by clicking on "Select Your Affiliate" on your profile page.

4) Once a member of your Affiliate and logged into your profile page, click the link, "Are you the affiliate manager for [Affiliate Name]?"

5) Follow the on-screen instructions and enter the email address on record for the Affiliate.

6) In the inbox of the address on record will be an email with the subject "Games 2012 Affiliate Manager Access." If it is not there within the hour, check the spam folder.

7) If you are the Affiliate Manager for the CrossFit Games competition and do not have access to the email address on record, arrange to have that email forwarded to you by someone who does have access.

8) Follow the link provided in the email, and log in. If you are already logged in, a new tab or window will be brought up, taking you to the Affiliate Management page.

9) After your account is verified as the manager, you can always return to the Affiliate Management page by following the "Manage Your Affiliate" link on your profile.

That seems like a lot of trouble to go to just to prevent people from registering joke accounts like "Drywall" or "Shaf."

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:36 pm

Yeah, fucking ludicrious. I can't even register Shaf anymore because of all the troll accounts people keep opening. I got an email from someone last week all pissy about some comment a Shaf-troll made on a power bear blog. Bastards..LULZ.

"Dear Shaf,

I'll have you know that many gay men find me attractive and aren't looking for burly, hairy bears. I keep myself fit and lean and have plenty of action. You should be more about love and solidarity, and not make nasty comments about us "twinks".

I'd still fuck you though

Bill the Twink"

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:37 pm

This kind of shit has been going on since 1999.

Beer Jew · Post by **Beer Jew** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:58 pm

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Shaf, the power bear icon.

Jonny Canuck · Post by **Jonny Canuck** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:36 pm

I guess some people never learn. From the gaymes fb page

So sad I won't be competing this year :( ruptured achilles in last years 11.2 wod still hasn't healed enough to compete. Will be watching though, and praying you guys add a 40-45 masters next year - PLEASE!!!

You fucking blew you achilles jumping off a box and you are sad that you can't do it again this year?

Jonny Canuck · Post by **Jonny Canuck** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:38 pm

Hi, I have an important question whilst awaiting the first WOD... As an affiliate owner - CrossFit East Lothian/Edinburgh , do I validate my own workouts? Also, I see FGB is the last WOD, are we allowed a sub for rowing, as we don't have one. Cheers.

hahahaha, these idiots cant even keep their mouths shut about the programming.

fatbastard · Post by **fatbastard** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 11:03 pm

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:Yeah, fucking ludicrious. I can't even register Shaf anymore because of all the troll accounts people keep opening. I got an email from someone last week all pissy about some comment a Shaf-troll made on a power bear blog. Bastards..LULZ.

Bill the Twink"

It's Bullrider Billy!

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 11:20 pm

fatbastard wrote:
Shafpocalypse Now wrote:Yeah, fucking ludicrious. I can't even register Shaf anymore because of all the troll accounts people keep opening. I got an email from someone last week all pissy about some comment a Shaf-troll made on a power bear blog. Bastards..LULZ.

Bill the Twink"
It's Bullrider Billy!

AKA Manotaurus, the P&B's first, last and only gay cowboy furry. PBUH!

CultBuster · Post by **CultBuster** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 11:43 pm

So, fucking Pukie is allowed on FB but Couch Crassmann isn't? FUCKING BULLSHIT

all kidding aside if you look at the verbage and tone of "pukie" on FB it is oddly similar to @fit HQ media lackey Russell Berger. If you are a corporate sock puppet you get a pass. Crassmen caught a good deal of ship from that stupid cunt Skip Chase.

From Skippy on CF boards!

Facebook Warning Today I noticed I approved a 'friend' request on Facebook. It is a mentally retarded, degenerate scum bag who has extremely low self esteem and (I am told by his previous girl and boyfriends) he has an incredibly small sex organ.

He goes by the name Couch Crassman and he takes great pride in mocking my profession, product and Coach Glassman.

Jettison this vermin from your 'friends' list if he (it) slithered it's way into your facebook.

A trend that I have been seeing as of late is affiliates that were once on the "outs" with HQ are coming back to the fold. The Bok $$$ must be better than anyone assumed. CF Central formed SicFit to be alternative and now they are an extension of and Freddy at OneWorld is linked up to bok gear page and posting shoe reviews on his post instead of the open hostility. Even-Esh had scrubbed all CF signage from his gym and openly mocked them at seminars and he is now featured at events ect. With the games coming back around the potential for epic fucking up will be awesome. No one can keep couch sober and out of the public eye for 2 years running! That actually would be elite!

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:44 am

dick suckas in tha haauuuuss!

kreator · Post by **kreator** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:58 am

Facebook Warning Today I noticed I approved a 'friend' request on Facebook. It is a mentally retarded, degenerate scum bag who has extremely low self esteem and (I am told by his previous girl and boyfriends) he has an incredibly small sex organ.

He goes by the name Couch Crassman and he takes great pride in mocking my profession, product and Coach Glassman.

Jettison this vermin from your 'friends' list if he (it) slithered it's way into your facebook.

Stay classy there, Skip.

"Coach Glassman" is a misnomer. In order to be considered a coach, one must actually coach someone.

Jonny Canuck · Post by **Jonny Canuck** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:12 am

Website was late posting the wod but it is 7 minutes of burpees.

This workout begins from the standing position. The Athlete will move from flat on the ground to touching an object with both hands that is 6 inches above their max reach. Score is total reps completed.

How the fuck are the affiliates gonna judge this?

I'd Hit It · Post by **I'd Hit It** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:13 am

When you're designing workouts for the Crossfit Games Open, you want something challenging. You want something that tests the skills and strength of your athletes, something that really exemplifies the mixed modalities of your programming and the endless athletic possibilities available to someone training with it. Something really special and intelligent, something you would not see in any other athletic competition or training camp.

And that's why WOD 1 of the open is doing burpees for 7 minutes.

ELITE.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:17 am

AMRAP Burpees in 7 minutes.

I bet no one expected HQ to get IGx to program the Open.

Hymen Asshole · Post by **Hymen Asshole** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 2:05 am

http://pd.crossfit.com/games/video/G201 ... urp_HD.mov
The WOD explanation at 1:35
"If your measurement is larger than 6", 6 and a quarter, 6 and a half, even 7" that's acceptable but anything less than 6" is unacceptable"

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 2:21 am

Skip never expected so much cock to come his way.

Jonny Canuck · Post by **Jonny Canuck** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 2:29 am

Hymen Asshole wrote:http://pd.crossfit.com/games/video/G201 ... urp_HD.mov
The WOD explanation at 1:35
"If your measurement is larger than 6", 6 and a quarter, 6 and a half, even 7" that's acceptable but anything less than 6" is unacceptable"

You know someone is already asking if 5 3/4 is acceptable

IGX

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