The couch thread

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:16 pm

15 mcg/mL. Apparently this takes in the realm of 5 cups of coffee downed within a half hour.

buckethead · Post by **buckethead** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:27 pm

What a duck says wrote:15 mcg/mL. Apparently this takes in the realm of 5 cups of coffee downed within a half hour.

Made from mold-free beans with a heaping helping of grass-fed butter and expeller-pressed coconut oil, and you're bulletproof

The Nightman · Post by **The Nightman** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:29 pm

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:High levels of caffiene are on most drug testing lists, IIRC.

A good friend of mine was an All-American thrower and IU. He said they were tested all the time, but the amount of caffeine they good ingest and still be with in "legal' limits was insane. Enough to make a 330# thrower vomit. I need about 400-500mg in the AM just to get to normal, I can't imagine the amount he could take or how I would decrease his Fran time.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:27 pm

Apparently the first major snafu of the R@@bok Gaymes has arisen. They apparently chose an incompetent ticket purchase system.

Just a taste:
http://games.crossfit.com/article/games ... s-now-sale

This is ridiculous. Whom ever chose to use this ticket purchasing system did a very poor job. Figured the lack of organization would be going away by now.
--
Ok, was just on hold with AXS for 13 minutes only to have them disconnect my call! Ugghhh!!!
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Yep, having problems purchasing tickets to the Games! Apparently, I'm not the only one!!! How hard can this be?
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Thought I was the only one I was freaking out. All of my constantly varied training has not prepared me for the possibility of missing out on the games because of a stupid web site issue!!
--
So support are aware of the problem on ticket site and working on resolving.. I don't think anyone can buy tickets yet. got the "please be patient" canned response, I'm sure they've been flooded with questions.

Apparently @F does NOT prepare one for the REAL, actual world.

Jonny Canuck · Post by **Jonny Canuck** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:53 pm

a 25% convenience fee to purchase tickets to the reebok games? wtf?

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:35 am

the jokes on anyone purchasing tickets in the first place

The Ginger Beard Man · Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:06 am

Jonny Canuck wrote:http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/n ... Jev7Kk2aOP

*comments added in () should not be taken as true or factual.

On a recent Saturday evening, an attractive crowd of 70 gathers in a cavernous space on a mostly deserted street in Gowanus, Brooklyn. Toting Crock-Pots and big bowls of green salad, they enter through a door marked only with a skull and crossbones(that's fucking hardcore). Once inside, the scene is like a reunion (cult), with high-fives, handshakes and hugs. Beyond the communal dining table, piled high with simmering meat roasts, the walls are decorated with medicine balls, kettle weights and climbing ropes.

As the visitors mill about, pouring themselves stiff tequila drinks, their bodies ripple with muscle — but are also marked by bruises (wtf bruises? do these guys play real sports or something). One woman is even hobbling around in a foot brace (fucktard).
Christian Johnston
CrossFit coaches Noah Abbott (far left) and Margie Lempert make sure Noah Barth (in tire) doesn’t try to end his workout early (i thought that was the point, whoever finishes first wins).

This isn’t one of Brooklyn’s secret supper clubs. It’s a potluck thrown by the South Brooklyn members of CrossFit, one of the hottest (fucked up) fitness-and-lifestyle (cult) movements in the country.

Today, they’re marking the end of a grueling two-monthlong “Paleo Challenge,” in which participants adhere to a strict “caveman” diet consisting of grass-fed meats, fish, fruits, vegetables and nuts. (Did cavemen have starbucks coffee?)

“On this diet, you can pretty much eat anything that’s green or had a face,” says CrossFitter Will Lanier. Not included in the diet: grains, refined sugars, dairy and starches — or alcohol. Still, many of the devotees skirt this by indulging in drinks containing tequila, considered a lesser evil because it’s made mostly with agave rather than refined sugars and grains.

And while the diet is extreme, the CrossFit workout is even tougher. Members punish themselves with intense workouts so basic and primal, a caveman could compete. Each hourlong session includes running, chin-ups (never seen chinups at a box, i think they meant pull-ups)(not real pull-ups, that would be too extreme), swinging giant hammers, dead-lifting (a bastardized version of a deadlift complete with rounded back and hitching), handstand push-ups and, yes, flipping 400-pound tractor tires.

The exercise is so grueling that throwing up (fucknuts) during training — while not a stated goal of the regime — is considered a badge of honor (WHAT THE FUCK?). And people who suffer together, apparently, socialize together. Far from being just a workout, CrossFit is a way of life (for those who have no life).

“Socializing is baked into the program,” says Alex Tilney, a 34-year-old writer (dude is extreme) from Cobble Hill and a devoted CrossFitter since last June.

“Before every class, everyone says their names, and the coaches ask you what your plans are this weekend and how you’re feeling that day. There’s a sense of coming together.”

Some people are so enthusiastic about CrossFit that its members are the only friends they have (that's about right). “CrossFit people understand [that] whether you’re hungover or not, you’re getting up and going to the gym the next morning,” says Ali Hovland, a 26-year-old project manager who works out at the Black Box gym in the Flatiron District.

Hovland first tried CrossFit after giving birth to a daughter, Zoe, 14 months ago. Not only did she spring back into shape, she found a new family for her new family. Her little girl is now a fixture at the gym, joining her mom for all her workouts.

“My friends are CrossFitters,” says Hovland. “It’s pretty cut and dry.”

Comments like these have caused outsiders to jokingly (no, we aren't joking, see above article) label the movement a cult. It’s true newcomers can feel alienated by the CrossFit philosophy, which implicitly offers a perfect body through pain while keeping peace of mind.

Last weekend a novice tried a free introductory class at a Brooklyn gym. As he pressed into a stretch, he grimaced — and got told off by a coach.
Christian Johnston
CrossFit coaches Noah Abbott (far left) and Margie Lempert make sure Noah Barth (in tire) doesn’t try to end his workout early.

“I made a horrific face, eyes bugging out of my head,” says the newbie, who asked not to be named because he doesn’t want to be banned from future classes. “I assumed that would be OK. Suddenly this trainer said, ‘Some of you are using a “private face,” which is not appropriate.’

“It’s a tough-love spirit,” adds the newbie. “A ‘Fight Club’ vibe.” (who the fuck are these idiots)

“I’ve heard people call CrossFit a cult a ton of times,” says coach Will Lanier, who quit his fashion p.r. job to become a full-time trainer (she must have had $1000 and two free days to get all her cf certifications). “And yeah, sure, I see that. But it’s the good things about a cult — we’re a community working towards a common goal.” (I guess if we say that we are not a cult enough times people will believe we aren't actually a cult)

Former gymnast and trainer Greg Glassman (couch) founded (copy and pasted)the program 12 years ago in California. Today, he still leads the movement, training (he fucking trains?) and contributing often to its online journal (pukie the clown facebook page).

The regime — a favorite of professional athletes (really, who? are you counting the former nfl placekicker who competed in the reepbok open?) police academies, martial artists and military units — has slowly been gaining steam in the fitness world, mostly by word of mouth ( hot chicks working out in lululemon). In 2005, there were roughly 50 affiliates worldwide; now, there are approximately 2,500. In the past year alone, CrossFit has seen tremendous growth, thanks to a new 10-year partnership (takeover) with Reebok and the popularity of the Olympic-style CrossFit Games (@fit should be in the olympics), which aired for the first time on ESPN last summer.

Today there are 20 CrossFit affiliates in the New York City area, three of which opened in the past year. While members usually exercise in bare-bones “boxes” (CrossFit-speak for gym), the regime is also spawning copycat workouts at “mainstream” gyms around the city, including New York Sports Club, which launched its “UFX” program (Ultimate Fitness Experience) class last month.

Up to five days a week, CrossFitters perform a 60-minute“WOD” (CrossFit for “work-out of the day”), and everyone completes the tasks as a group. Individual times and weights are recorded daily, and since everyone is doing the same workout, it often fosters competition among members.

Die-hard CrossFitters say the sweat and tears that go into their workouts bond them.

“There’s this feeling of, if you didn’t suffer, you didn’t try hard enough. It’s hard not to make friends in that environment,” says Hovland.

CrossFit South Brooklyn owner David Osorio, 27, has seen the rise of his fellow fanatics firsthand. He started his affiliate with a couple of sandbags and jump-ropes in a Carroll Gardens playground, and gradually upgraded to his warehouse space in Gowanus.

“In the beginning, the gym was 15 people,” he says. “Now, we actually can’t even handle all the people who are coming to us. It’s a good problem to have.”

Osorio says the tribal spirit of the regime is what keeps his clients coming back.

“If you go to a yoga class, it’s anonymous,” he says. “The training has to be really good for you to go back, but that’s very one-dimensional.”

With CrossFit, “you go through something really painful and agonizing and awful. At the end you’re like, ‘What did I just do?’ and then you look around the room and 15 other people are all on the floor panting too. It brings people together.”

Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/n ... z1sJDEvfm8

And when I asked for gym recommendations in Brooklyn last year, several IGxers suggested this place.
Why do you guys hate me?

Protobuilder · Post by **Protobuilder** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:12 am

The Nightman wrote:
Shafpocalypse Now wrote:High levels of caffiene are on most drug testing lists, IIRC.
A good friend of mine was an All-American thrower and IU. He said they were tested all the time, but the amount of caffeine they good ingest and still be with in "legal' limits was insane. Enough to make a 330# thrower vomit. I need about 400-500mg in the AM just to get to normal, I can't imagine the amount he could take or how I would decrease his Fran time.

When I competed in a drug tested meet for the first time, caffeine was on the list. Of course, everybody asked about it and the feedback was something of that nature - if I remember correctly, they said not to drink a few cases of Mountain Dew (is that even still around?) in the half hour before you competed and you were fine.

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:18 am

Terry B. wrote:. . . they said not to drink a few cases of Mountain Dew (is that even still around?). . . .

Hell yeah ninja! Pure unicorn tears and angel sweat!

Protobuilder · Post by **Protobuilder** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:35 am

Ed Zachary wrote:
Terry B. wrote:. . . they said not to drink a few cases of Mountain Dew (is that even still around?). . . .
Hell yeah ninja! Pure unicorn tears and angel sweat!

Fantastic. I was in a PepsiCo office some time back overseas and they had some - the comment was that it didn't test well in the local market and that I could have it if I wanted.

I hoarded the shit like fine wine.

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:41 am

Terry B. wrote:
Fantastic. I was in a PepsiCo office some time back overseas and they had some - the comment was that it didn't test well in the local market and that I could have it if I wanted.

I hoarded the shit like fine wine.

I think I love you.

If I'm going to drink a real pop I'm going hardcore and hit up some Mad Dog/Mountain Dew. It's a terrible elixir but mix it with spiced rum and you can become a superdrunk. Too drunk to walk to the pisser but your heart will be beating about 9000 beats a minute.

Cave Canem · Post by **Cave Canem** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:46 am

The Ginger Beard Man wrote: And when I asked for gym recommendations in Brooklyn last year, several IGxers suggested this place.
Why do you guys hate me?

Are you confusing Crossfit South Brooklyn with the South Brooklyn Weightlifting Club ? Close to each other but completely different animals.

kreator · Post by **kreator** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 4:23 am

Ha, not only do we not have to deal with Brooklyn hipster cult members in Queens, but our weightlifting gym is the best one around.

The Ginger Beard Man · Wed Apr 18, 2012 4:34 am

kreator wrote:Ha, not only do we not have to deal with Brooklyn hipster cult members in Queens, but our weightlifting gym is the best one around.

I met a chick from your gym who now trains at mine. She has nice form, and is stronger than most of the "dudes" in the place.

The Crawdaddy · Post by **The Crawdaddy** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:25 am

Ed Zachary wrote:
Terry B. wrote:. . . they said not to drink a few cases of Mountain Dew (is that even still around?). . . .
Hell yeah ninja! Pure anal weepage and ball sweat!

Corrected for accuracy

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 6:10 pm

Just talked to another @F casualty...probable stress fracture in the wrist due to a max-rep wall ball workout.

Thing that sucks for this person is that she's a massage therapist, so now she's not working until this gets resolved.

Hymen Asshole · Post by **Hymen Asshole** » Fri Apr 20, 2012 1:52 am

A few of the guys at Cal Strength do Grace

and of course the douchebaggery begins on the @bok forum
http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=74872

Then Spencer Moorman does Grace with 137k

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Fri Apr 20, 2012 2:17 am

Imagine how fast they could've completed that workout if they'd added 20% slop and been willing to maim themselves.

Protobuilder · Post by **Protobuilder** » Fri Apr 20, 2012 4:23 am

Hymen Asshole wrote: and of course the douchebaggery begins on the @bok forum
http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=74872

I had actually forgotten how insane that place is - if you read the posts with the idea that everybody is trolling everybody else, it's worth a decent laugh though.

The Ginger Beard Man · Fri Apr 20, 2012 4:31 am

Cave Canem wrote:
The Ginger Beard Man wrote: And when I asked for gym recommendations in Brooklyn last year, several IGxers suggested this place.
Why do you guys hate me?
Are you confusing Crossfit South Brooklyn with the South Brooklyn Weightlifting Club ? Close to each other but completely different animals.

Both were mentioned in the thread. However, I don't think the idea was for me to become a crossfitter. Just to use the space.

kreator · Post by **kreator** » Sun Apr 22, 2012 7:30 pm

Terry B. wrote:
Hymen Asshole wrote: and of course the douchebaggery begins on the @bok forum
http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=74872
I had actually forgotten how insane that place is - if you read the posts with the idea that everybody is trolling everybody else, it's worth a decent laugh though.

That is a candidate for one of the dumbest internet threads of all time.

I don't know who's worse, the grumpy old Chris "Listen kids, I know strength" Mason arguing with a bunch of kids on the internet about how much he can deadlift 50 reps, or Katherine "I worked out once and watched a Youtube video about some guy who lifts" Derbyshire telling everyone about the state of weightlifting in America.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Sun Apr 22, 2012 8:43 pm

Mason is a goof. Holy shit.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Sun Apr 22, 2012 10:27 pm

My favorite Chris Mason moment (other than getting banned by him), was when he told everyone that he knows he's smarter than pretty much everyone and has known it for a long time, and he was dead serious.

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Sun Apr 22, 2012 10:31 pm

Chris Mason
Member

Profile:
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Charlottesville VA
Posts: 2,184 Re: Cal Strength Does "Regular" Grace

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug Lantz
Chris,

What is you and your training partner's best Grace time ?

Can you post video ?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I tried it once in my basement all alone. My time was 2 min and 30 something seconds. I almost died . I'll ask Justin what his time was. When my triceps tear is all better I'll do it again and video it.

http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=74872&page=3

He seems pretty bright to me.

Beer Jew · Post by **Beer Jew** » Mon Apr 23, 2012 9:20 pm

Fuck. I just read that thread. I'm gonna be nice and assume that was all some form of joke.

Interesting point- Jon North and Donny Shankle both smoke according to Pendlay.

And I want to skullfuck Kathrine Derbyshire until she bleeds out.

IGX

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