The couch thread

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 3:56 pm

Are we seriously dogging on people who take gear? That's right up there with making fun of novice's lifts.

Everything else, have at it, I say.

Kenny X · Post by **Kenny X** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 4:57 pm

Blaidd Drwg wrote:
Dr. Agkistrodon wrote:
syaigh wrote:
Blaidd Drwg wrote:
syaigh wrote:Its probably diastasis if they've had kids. You can't shrink connective tissue once its given up. Some of the women that I know are using PEDs get that six-pack gut and I'm not sure why, but it goes away when they come off. Ie, its there for the Games, disappears for the USAW American Open. Go figure.

huh...for real? carving out a bunch of visceral fat is a big deal....do women get bloat from test aromitization like men?
Yes, we're awesome at turning test into estrogen. Its one of our super powers. And then, of course, there is secondary bloat from some other compounds.
I was under the impression that the "ab gut effect" that you see in folks who use certain PED's is due to the drugs causing the intestines to grow. But that kind of sounded like an urban legend, to me.
it's real but only at multi year massive doses. no cf'ers are there yet.

Well, it's not like they're all getting big like Ronnie Coleman ("his engine is just too massive") so my admittedly limited knowledge of "Better Lifting Through Chemistry" tells me they're probably more interested in HGH and so-called "cutting drugs" ... But who knows.

What I find amusing, when considering this whole "Strongman Lite" BS and other things is that not only have they lowered the fucking bar, but they're also doping do be able to perform at THAT sub-standard level. It's a Double-Whammy Of Fail!

Kenny X · Post by **Kenny X** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 4:59 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:Are we seriously dogging on people who take gear? That's right up there with making fun of novice's lifts.

Everything else, have at it, I say.

I'm only dogging people who feel the need to take gear to be mediocre ;-) I work my ass off drug free to be "almost pretty good."

:-D

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 5:12 pm

The heaviest weight lifted at the Gaymes this year was a 365# clean.

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 5:15 pm

What a duck says wrote:The heaviest weight lifted at the Gaymes this year was a 365# clean.

That's legit but far from elite.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 5:33 pm

Not dogging in the slightest. I'm a huge believer in project vanity.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 5:35 pm

tough old man wrote:He's no more of a corporate schill / religous dumbass than any other preacher. And without Greg Glassmans vision where would this thread be?

Just one intact achilles tendon or labrum is worth more than this entire forum.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 5:43 pm

I keep finding the correlation between the very best that @Fers can do in a single event to commonly be equal to the best that 14-15 year olds do.

Highest clean in the @F Gaymes this year: 365# (~165kg) at 212# BW (96kg)

American records can be found here (PDF).
Compare:
14-15 year old C&J record at 85+kg is 150kg.
16-17 year old C&J record at 85kg is 180kg.

The man in black · Post by **The man in black** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 7:03 pm

Moral of the story, olympic lifters are better at olympic lifting than crossfitters?

Yes, I know all the shit that Glassman has spewed, but has any high level competitive crossfitter regurgitated his bullshit?

Dan Martin · Post by **Dan Martin** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 7:17 pm

The man in black wrote:
Yes, I know all the shit that Glassman has spewed, but has any high level competitive crossfitter regurgitated his bullshit?

No, they swallow.

The man in black · Post by **The man in black** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 7:20 pm

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 7:47 pm

Kristen Clever is actually a pretty decent emcee

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:17 pm

World's Greatest Athlete Forced Back Into Diamond Mine At Gunpoint

July 16, 2012
KENEMA, SIERRA LEONE—The best athlete in the world, 26-year-old Umaru Conteh, whose natural talents would earn him unimaginable fortune as a global star had he been born into a society with a leisure economy sufficient to support professional sports, was on Saturday marched back into the mine where he is forced to work by armed guards."Go!" the AK-47-wielding man screamed at Conteh, whose one-in-a-billion combination of unbelievably dense fast-twitch muscle, otherworldly eye-hand coordination, and lightning reflexes would enable him to excel in any sport, despite his never having tasted clean water during his two decades of shackled labor in a poorly lit mine. "Down the shaft! Now!" After working for 18 consecutive hours to extract a tiny engagement-ring stone for a twice-divorced Tampa, FL real estate agent, Conteh was transported back home to the slum where he will die years before his unsuspected athletic abilities have a chance to decline.

The question is, considering the date of this article, is even The Onion mocking @F's bullshit now?

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:46 pm

Lulz.
Crossfit Minority Certification

Public Event · By Blacks that CrossFit
Material covered at cert:
- Vernacular that makes the minorities feel included and comfortable.
- Greetings and salutations that make them feel welcomed ("Waddup, dog!")
- How to keep from overtly segregating.
- What to do when you have a white client from the 50s and a colored in the same class.
- How to handle a situation if they seemed to be getting upset.
- How you can tell if they are getting upset. (Start talking loud[er] and in a high pitch tone).
- How you can have family discounts but to watch out for play cousins and siblings.
- Music that everyone can agree on.
- How to use their natural "entrepreneurial" spirit to help build the market of the gym.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:14 pm

What a duck says wrote:Lulz.
Crossfit Minority Certification

I hope that's real. That's so insulting it's awesome

If that was actually real I'd so go to that

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:22 pm

What a duck says wrote:Lulz.
Crossfit Minority Certification
Public Event · By Blacks that CrossFit
Material covered at cert:
- Vernacular that makes the minorities feel included and comfortable.
- Greetings and salutations that make them feel welcomed ("Waddup, dog!")
- How to keep from overtly segregating.
- What to do when you have a white client from the 50s and a colored in the same class.
- How to handle a situation if they seemed to be getting upset.
- How you can tell if they are getting upset. (Start talking loud[er] and in a high pitch tone).
- How you can have family discounts but to watch out for play cousins and siblings.
- Music that everyone can agree on.
- How to use their natural "entrepreneurial" spirit to help build the market of the gym.

i bet mr mean streets teasedale will be down for that

Kenny X · Post by **Kenny X** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:32 pm

"- How to handle a situation if they seemed to be getting upset."

I don't know why I can't stop laughing at that.

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:52 pm

Bwahahahahahahahaha

baffled · Post by **baffled** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 11:27 pm

It's important you groids check out the blacks that crossfit FB page itself

Not too many blacks CrossFit, most can't afford it. So this is to bring all 6 of us together to tell our stories. And ask the ever present question; "Why are all the named WODs white girls?"

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Wed Jul 18, 2012 2:53 pm

Yet another HQ marketing FAIL...

Only in Bizarro World can taking a "meh" chick and giving her abzzz, bolt-ons, and sunken cheeks add 3 points to her score...

milosz · Post by **milosz** » Wed Jul 18, 2012 3:08 pm

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Wed Jul 18, 2012 3:43 pm

you can tell the dipshits who don't have much actual training experience b/c they say shit like that, stuff that they cobbled together from the latest internet trends (rippetoe & paleo)

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Wed Jul 18, 2012 3:45 pm

protobuilder wrote:you can tell the dipshits who don't have much actual training experience b/c they say shit like that, stuff that they cobbled together from the latest internet trends (rippetoe & paleo)

It's Robb Rippetoe. Latest quote "if you don't eat Paleo you are a pussy"

powerlifter54 · Post by **powerlifter54** » Wed Jul 18, 2012 4:17 pm

For the first time train constantly surrounded by @fitters. Most of these guys and are true badasses in the truest sense of the word "warrior", and not because they can do a muscle up wearing a do rag and board shorts.

Now there has been one nice muscle up and a suprising number of good TGUs, but the rest of the swings, oly snatches and jerks, DLs, constant and endless box jumping, and bizarre training sequences amaze and shcok me. i asked a guy yesterday what his training plan was and he mentioned it was his day off from humping a 70lb ruck around in mountainous terrain with bad guys everywhere. "Do you think maybe doing front squats, box jumps, and walking lunges on a day you should be resting is a good idea?"

"Never thought of it, dude"

i am trying to intercede. Not going well. They listen and like what i tell them, but the next day are back to the same old crap.

Yep, a cult.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Wed Jul 18, 2012 4:31 pm

milosz wrote:
jfc

This is one of the dumbest fucking things I have ever read, anywhere.

IGX

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