The couch thread

Beelzebub · Post by **Beelzebub** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:17 pm

http://www.rollergirlthebook.com/

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:18 pm

Now we get to find out if Snowball Angel is a good sport....

T200 · Post by **T200** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:29 pm

Unless it updates her that comments are made she will never see it. That blog entry was old.

POD · Post by **POD** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:36 pm

I can't believe you guys missed this comment from that post on Snow Angel's blog, from the author herself:

and btw.. everytime we drag out the medicine balls, i end up getting hit in the face. ha.

T200, that's good shit there.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:46 pm

POD wrote: T200, that's good shit there.

I am not claiming all credit. I made like the first 15 or so posts and then it was a free for all.

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:52 pm

T200 wrote:Unless it updates her that comments are made she will never see it. That blog entry was old.

Your feverish posting pace has dulled your senses. She's a @Fer. It's a rule that they get instant notification for all blog comments.

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:54 pm

More Snow Angel. Looks like that particular blog post has been removed.....:

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:57 pm

I wanted to post the whole commentary, now that the Wolfman responded to couch's crawl-out-from-under-a-rock postings...couch got his thesaurus out (maybe it's a coaster?) for this one!
EDIT: Link http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/2 ... 91207.html

couch! wrote:I’d long been concerned that our nutrition certification had increasingly become a forum for delivering nutritional homilies and was irrevocably separated from the purpose of making affiliates and their trainers more effective at molding and shaping their clients’ lives.

The battle, always one sided and started and argued solely for market distinction and financial gain by the CF nutrition cert chief over “quality of food vs. quantity” was itself a sign of a complete and total abnegation of the need or utility of an empirically based clinical nutrition.

Quality and quantity of food are vastly interdependent and adjusting both, or not, is an essential skill in the clnicians' arsenal. Taking a side in this debate proves, for me, a lack of clinical experience and scientific training. That's the view of our scientists and physicians, as well, BTW. That this debate was fabricated and then continued was a clarion call for restructuring and restaffing a nutrition program run aground.

In these muddied waters “weighing and measuring” was being heralded as a waste of time and entirely unnecessary. It was even offered that clients’ results don’t really improve until you stop trying to quantify the prescription and result. This, in total, is tantamount to an abdication of teaching affiliates and their trainers how to use food to maximize training efficacy.

The undeniable reality is that weighing and measuring clients, and teaching them to weigh, measure, and record their intake, coupled with periodic client assessment interviews where they’re re-weighed and measured is entirely indispensable to nutrition being a clinical science.

Scale, and tape measure, skin-fold calipers, or hydrostatic weighing need to be used to assess body composition. I’d recommend using them all. Sphygmomanometer competency and laboratory results on blood lipids are essential to your practice as well. We're going to teach the use of these tools and their significance.

The nutrition certification is going to be rebuilt as a two-day event that moves from the micro to the macro – from eicosanoids to macronutrients, to metabolic derangement, and on to prescription, assessment, and revision of prescription. We’re going to start with the theoretical underpinnings, quickly move to clinical practice and settings, and end with a live example of cooking quickly and simply, delicious and quantifiable fare. It is going to be taught by MD’s and PhD’s with vast clinical experience supported by staff also steeped in clinical experience and the culinary arts. This is a radical yet essential departure from past offerings.

The rationale for dismissing weighing and measuring (a perfect repudiation of quantitative methods in clinical nutrition) was publicly supported by offering that the Zone prescription lacks the accuracy to ideally meet the clients’ needs. What this view misses, shockingly, is that the chief value of the Zone prescription lies not in its accuracy, which frankly is often great, but in it’s precision. The Zone diet gives me precision in prescription of total caloric load and macronutrient breakout so that with careful weighing and measuring of the client we can nudge her to a better result. It really wouldn’t matter, ultimately, where you started, or whether you adjusted parameters, initially, in the wrong direction or not; what matters is that you know what you told them to eat, to what extent they complied, and what the results were. From that point and that point only can course correction be logically, scientifically offered. This all needs to be measured and even the subjective stuff needs to be recorded. This is a skill that needs to be taught to trainers in order for them to develop the clinical experience that will ultimately optimize their training capacity and maximize the commercial value of their craft.

Imagine the success of your training if you never knew the weight of the bar or client, didn’t count reps or sets, and never, ever, used a stopwatch. How would that have impacted the efficacy of your training? Ironically, a scientific answer to that question is not possible absent weighing, measuring, and recording what was not weighed, measured, or recorded.

I promise a better, more scientific, clinically relevant nutritional cert, a certification that leaves each attendee more capable to offer prescription and adjust that prescription to maximize results for their clients. It will be taught by professionals and as early on as possible, ANSI accredited. This certification is going to be about you and NOT about us. Thank you.
Comment #12 - Posted by: Coach at December 10, 2009 7:06 AM

Wolf wrote:I appreciate the statement, although tardy. A few clarifications are in order before putting this whole matter to rest.

1-The seminar I provided was 50% food quality, 50% weighing and measuring. I have nearly 50 complete certs worth of video to prove this point. The 2500+ attendees of the cert can validate this point. My contention has been that food quality is the most important issue. HQ disagrees on this point. I have thousands of data points on this topic that I have collected over the past 5 years. We will see those data sets in a formalized setting in the coming months. I have ALWAYS recommended (look back to the 2003 archives for example) starting with a paleo/quality approach first, then weigh and measure for best effect. What we have seen however are numerous examples of people abandoning Zone proportionality and lack of quality emphasis, and seeing dramatic improvements. Coach Glassman conveniently ignores this information. That's no longer my concern as I am not a member of HQ and thus not obliged to attempt to fix its shortcomings. I also apparently have a lack of clinical experience and scientific training! Remarkable. Apparently my CV was poorly circulated at HQ.

2-Coach Glassman is alluding that this is all a PR/marketing stunt to push Paleo Brands. That my insistence on food quality is something new. This is remarkable given my YEARS of consistent message on this topic. NewSpeak lives apparently. This also sounds remarkably similar to when CF NorCal left CrossFit several years ago in a protest of practices endemic to HQ. Our departure changed nothing (as evidenced by the Black Box Summit) but numerous people in CF were told we left to “Join Mark Twight and Gym Jones”. This is straight out of the same playbook.

3-It is ironic given Coach Glassman’s disdain for academia that MD’s and PHD’s mean “quality” or “competence”. An interesting and timely paradigm shift.

I want to make clear that my copyrighted material (the stuff not based on clinical or scientific experience) is NOT to be used at future CF Nutrition certs. It WAS used at the last event despite my communications that it is not to be used.

Off to practice Pseudo-Science and delude the masses…
Comment #14 - Posted by: Robb Wolf at December 10, 2009 10:35 AM

couch! wrote:Let me share a difference between a bit of scientific fact and applied clinical knowledge.

Dr. Sears, when asked about sodium intake, offered that sodium retention was governed by aldosterone and that aldosterone was controlled in turn by insulin, which is ultimately controlled by carbohydrate intake.

I asked later who knew what to do if a client found herself very dizzy on standing days after being put "in the Zone". Nobody knew. The answer is/was "get her to salt her food and see if it goes away".

Same mechanism. One clinical knowledge the other not. We need a cert based on successful clinical experience.

Our old cert was sketchy on science, at best, and entirely bereft of clinical knowledge/experience.

It's entirely my fault. We're fixing it.
Comment #15 - Posted by: Coach at December 10, 2009 11:59 AM

As Shaf said, couch alludes to Sears (PhD) having clinical experience?
Sears Bio
Sears CV
He's got about as much experience clinically as typical nOOb @F Level 1ers do in training people!!!

couch,

theoverman · Post by **theoverman** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 11:03 pm

I suspect Barry Cooper had a had in that mind numbing diatribe.

POD · Post by **POD** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 11:05 pm

From the @F Gaymes 2010 website:

http://games2010.crossfit.com/
The 2010 CrossFit Games season is upon us. Because of the extraordinary success of the 09 Games, we have added another layer of qualifier. Last year, the Regionals were the starting point for potential competitors. This year, there will be 13 Regionals around the world that all take place in May. But unlike last year, you now have to qualify for the Regionals (with a few exceptions in continents with sparse populations of CrossFitters).

Feeding these Regionals will be approximately 30 Sectional competitions, which will be open to anyone. The Sectionals will take place from mid-February to late March. There will even be a Sectional held as one of the events at the Arnold Classic in Columbus, Ohio.

I can only imagine what Arnold's reaction will be when he sees the latest trends in pumping iron.

POD · Post by **POD** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 11:13 pm

Yes I Have Balls wrote:More Snow Angel. Looks like that particular blog post has been removed.....:

Ah, but nothing can ever be truly removed from the internet...

Edit: Thanks to Mario for enabling the "spoiler" tags on the forums. Click below to see the post and comments from Snow Angel's blog.

Spoiler: show

theoverman · Post by **theoverman** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 11:18 pm

crystal. she's some kinda trainer?

blog is here, not a lot of pics though

http://crystaljmcreynolds.blogspot.com/

here's a video of her and umbilical hernia working out.

http://vimeo.com/2454551

edit- NVM there is another "Carey" that has the fucked up stomach.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 11:33 pm

theoverman wrote:

crystal. she's some kinda trainer?

I believe there was some nice pics of her from the Gaymes.

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 11:36 pm

theoverman wrote:

crystal. she's some kinda trainer?

trainer and elite kicker asser apparently.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 11:38 pm

The controversial sports bra.. and the super secret crossfit wod

Man, I made like 36 posts in that thing. I gotta get another hobby.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 11:52 pm

T200 wrote:
The controversial sports bra.. and the super secret crossfit wod
Man, I made like 36 posts in that thing. I gotta get another hobby.

nice work

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 11:58 pm

Holy fucking shit, T! The "Barry Cooper" posts put me over the edge.
I now have g-dlike abs from laughing so much. =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>
6 clappys; my highest rating.

Gary John · Post by **Gary John** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 12:08 am

Just wanted to see my new signature. I've had this and just figured out how to post it.

sanchezero · Post by **sanchezero** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 12:40 am

ya, those fuckin' barry posts were stellar. i dunno if one of you bitches actually rambled that shit out or just cutNpaste'd, but whatever, mad props nigga!

JohnnyBadAss · Post by **JohnnyBadAss** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 1:38 am

sanchezero wrote:ya, those fuckin' barry posts were stellar. i dunno if one of you bitches actually rambled that shit out or just cutNpaste'd, but whatever, mad props nigga!

I'm thinking someone just pasted an entire Wikipedia article. That shit had me laughing my ass off.

Batboy2/75 · Post by **Batboy2/75** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 3:27 am

T200 wrote:
Yes I Have Balls wrote:
T200 wrote:Need more blogs to spam.

http://cara-crossfitblog.blogspot.com/
Sadly, comments disabled.

I wrote a long one too before finding this out.

Two words:

Dirt Diva!

Batboy2/75 · Post by **Batboy2/75** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 4:28 am

I'm sure this one isn't going to be approved.

Catra,

This Coach Glassman. How you doing baby?

If you haven't heard already, I'm a free man. I gave the wife her walking papers this very afternoon. I'm not one to kiss and tell, but let's just say the ex-Mrs. Glassman was a weak performer an not elite.

Speaking of elite, I'm assembling a team of crossfit women for a new project I'm working on. It's a reality show of sorts. Think "the girls next door meets "Jersey Shore" but with lots of Gin and alcohol fueled sex.

Now this brings me to you my little dove. BTW- that's what we're going to call the gals that live in the house with me; doves. Like it? Jose, the cashier down at the local Safeway made it up. Talk about scoring! Safeway Gin was on special for $5.99 a liter and Jose came through with a name. Fuck'n A, today's been a good day.

Anyway, I digress. This post is about you my dove. Want to drop the Hop Sing mother fucker and come live with Coach Glassman? Free room, board, and crossfit classes. I'll even have that little faggot with no calves you were dating thrown out of crossfit.

You may be asking yourself, "what is Coach Glassman want in exchange" or "Why me". I'll answer those questions my dove.

What do I want? Nothing I'm sure you haven't already done in your past. Sex, gin fuel and drug fuel sex. With me, with the other girls, with me and the other girls, and even Eva (if you're into that sort of thing.

Why you? You're kind of freaky and I like that for a change. All of the other crossfit chicks all look the same. Except for those that are talking Suppliments. They look look like men. But back to you. Honestly I need an older woamn around the house to balance out the empty headed bimbos I plan on lodging in the crossfir mansion. I'm thinking you'd be my enforcer and keep them in line. I would do it, but I tend to sleep in till 2 pm and wake up in strange places.

So what do your say, want to come live in cassa del Crossfit and fuck Coach Glassman?

Love and kisses my Dove,

Coach Glassman

Shave Astroglide · Post by **Shave Astroglide** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 5:55 am

T200 wrote:Snow Angel, continued.

Dan Duchaine Says:
December 10th, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Eva,

You sound like my kinda girl!

I would love to stick my nose up your asshole while you crush my head in a scissor hold!

Couch G Says:
December 10th, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Been there done that Duchaine.

Eva is good but she’s no Nicole. At least as far as asshole smell goes.

Nicole’s rim just fucking smells ELITE!

Nicole C Says:
December 10th, 2009 at 3:00 pm

Couch,

Thank you for you compliments!

I owe it all to you, Lauren and @Fit.

Dan, I need a couple more bottles of supplements. Can you hook a girl up? I can make it worth your while. I have no boundaries separating me from whoring.

Eva Says:
December 10th, 2009 at 3:02 pm

* Takes an A-Bomb and hulks the fuck up *

I’LL SMAAAAAAAAAAASH YOU ALL YOU NIGGERS!!!!!!!!!!

Dave Castro Says:
December 10th, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Hey Eva,

I’ll suck that clitty baby. Shoot me a text.

You know I’m a sucker for cock.

Castro OUT!

Robb Wolf Says:
December 10th, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Cock isn’t paleo. Best to avoid.

In the paleolithic era man only ate hairy, flea-infested pussy.

And they loved it!

If it’s good enough for our ancestors it should be good enough for us modern athletes!

Please stay-tuned for my new “@Fit is a bunch of faggots nutrition seminar.”

Dave Castro Says:
December 10th, 2009 at 3:10 pm

I fucking told you motherfucker!

Quit pimping this paleo bullshit!

The only way to get elite is to Zone. This is what got you kicked the fuck out you scumfuck Wolf.

If I want to suck Eva’s cock I will suck Eva’s cock and that’s fucking that!!!

I have been fucking pwned. Back to the Hate drawing board.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 10:07 am

It is on like Donkey Kong!

If you read couch's diatribe, you see his oft-used salt/aldosterone example...the one that Robb Wolf supposedly didn't know or present about...oh snap!
http://cathletics.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4904

Greg Everett wrote:In direct contradiction to Glassman's claim that the science was not present in Robb's seminars. Here is a video of Robb addressing precisely the issue Glassman used as an example - aldosterone/sodium/etc.

http://www.vimeo.com/8108227

Funny thing, couch, is that adding salt to foods is also something done for adrenal fatigue (and @F, you don't say?!?!):
http://www.adrenalfatigue.org/health-ti ... tigue.html

In most cases of adrenal fatigue, salt (in moderation) benefits those who add it to their diet. Unless you are one of the rare people with adrenal fatigue and high blood pressure, add some salt to your food. A sea salt or Celtic salt is preferred, as these are the kinds containing the valuable nutrients. Some of the symptoms of adrenal fatigue are actually caused by your body's needs for salt.

More @FHQ nastiness...if you look to the affiliate blog where all of the events are posted (well, some at least, as you'll see), note that all of Everett's OL seminars have disappeared...pretty easy to cross-reference. I wonder why?

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 12:10 pm

Couch wrote:Scale, and tape measure, skin-fold calipers, or hydrostatic weighing need to be used to assess body composition. I’d recommend avoiding them all, as they make me break out in cold sweats.

hmmm...

IGX

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